I don't believe that all people do this. My group of besties include Danielle (super-fit beautiful tattooed girl), Ashley (wheel-chair bound free spirit super feminist), and Rudy (8th grade best friend, he used to be overweight and now he's a chick magnet), I'm the token chubby chick. I love all my friends and everyone else for who they are.

I see people's reactions to physical differences in people on a daily basis. I work with developmentally disabled adults. When we go to the doctor or on a daily outting, people stare.

I suppose the problem with staring at 'different' people is whether the people being started at want to be or not!

Obviously people with an illness or birth defect may not want to be seen as different and so won't, whereas a punk, with multiple piercings and a pink mohawk blatantly wants to stand out from the crowd!

I look at 'different' people all the time, I suppose I'm just curious and intrigued by them... then again, it doesn't take a lot to be 'different' in my books!

I have 9 holes total in my ears. I have a tattoo---discreet, and not publicly viewable. My navel is pierced. And--when I was in college--I've had every hair color that is imaginable.

I most DEFINITELY did not do ANY of the above for shock value. I did it for the fun of it, and because it was a way of expressing myself. Believe me, if I didn't have to look "professional" for work, I would STILL be doing wacky things with my hair, including multiple colors at once.

Dying your hair purple is no more (and no less!) a bid for attention than wearing designer clothing or buying a Prada bag.

I hope this isn't starting to stray from the topic...

I know what you're saying Synnen, but when you were doing all these things did you think "Ah, no-one will pay any attention to this!"?

I meant, to be more specific, people that get many piercings and tatoos. Like piercings all the way across their eyebrows, or all over their face, and get large tatoos on their faces, neck, or somewhere that will always be visible. The hair color is a minor thing, that can be easily corrected, as yes it's usually a fun thing, and I used to do it too. I basically meant the people who do all of these things at a time, and how they really are seen. It's too bad that people are judged this way, but they are.

But even something as simple as multi-colored hair, you really can't get too upset when people stare. It's not the norm, and people will look and judge, which isn't a good thing, but it's to be expected. But if you are looking for a respectable job, most times unless you are looking for that job in the creative arts field, it will be looked down upon in the professional sense. I'm not saying I agree with that, but that's the way society is.

Nope. Not at all what I was thinking.

But--What's the point of the designer clothing if not to get attention? Where's the difference between blue hair and $400 blue jeans?

Style is style is style---and we each have our own. It's just that the people with a more traditional view of style have issues with those of us that would LOVE to change our hair color weekly, just for the fun of it. How is changing my hair color to something unusual every season different from the girls that HAVE to have clothing from the new fashion season--regardless how ridiculous THOSE fashions are? (I mean, come on! Who the HELL thought that wedges should come back? What idiot was THAT?)

Very true! A plunging neckline will get my attention just as much as a head of blue hair!

I don't like the fact people look and judge by appearances, but it's just the way society is!
There is a 'norm' that (the majority of) society sticks to and sees as 'acceptable' in everyday situations. If you don't conform, then you are an outsider, regardless of what sort of person you are on the inside, and you will get stared at, and comments will be made.

But as you say, each person has their own views on style. But if you chose a 'different' style, you should be ready for the repercussions.

Now if you're different through no choice of your own... a physical / mental defect or the such, you are, unfortunately, still as vunerable to the stares and comments, but through no fault of your own. That's just the way people are I'm afraid.

I agree w/ so many of you it's not even funny. I agree that if you are out of the "norm" people will judge you in a negative fashion if you're applying for a conservative type job... It pisses me off so much because the most awesome people I have ever met were those that wore their personalities in their hair design and in their piercings/tattoos.

The type of staring when it's done to a person whom suffers an outward physical disability is a WHOLE other type of stare... not what this tread is about even a little...

As far as being prepared for the repercussions, I feel that the times are changing a little. I know a few people who are very funky and interesting to enjoy and they are in computers and "profiling".

Times are changing...

Whether you need to be conventional in your job completely depends on your job.

I know a guy that makes 6 figures, no joke, who has a blue mohawk, lots of earrings, pierced eyebrows, a nose ring, a tattoo on his neck, wears ratty jeans and flannels and combat boots. He's a software designer.

I, on the other hand, have the "respectable" position of assistant registrar. People EXPECT me to look like a fuddy duddy.

Bah.

Synnen, you will never be a fuddy duddy.

I have a tattoo, it is visible, but I didn't do it to get noticed, I did it in remembrance of my parents, and it's visible because to me that was important, I wanted to share my grief, and my healing. :)

I have colored my hair, but never a really outrageous color, red is probably the most "risky" color I've had.

I have four piercings, all in my ears. :) I'd love to get a belly piercing, but I've had two kids, the belly is not going to be seen by the public! ;)

Last year I was shopping with my son, and this young man, dressed head to toe in black, wearing army boots a trench jacket, all black, multi colored mohawk, piercings everywhere (he would have set of the metal detectors in the airport) and a tattoo, came up and asked me what time it was. I told him, and he was about to walk away when my son said "I love your mohawk!" The young guy turned to him, put out his hand and said "high five little dude!" Jared was thrilled and asked the guy if he'd like to go to the food court with us, we were getting ice cream. The guys said "I don't think your mom would like that". I asked him why he'd think that. He looked at me, puzzled, and said "Most moms don't like the way I look". My response, "I'm not most moms". He declined our invite because he was late for something, but we see him once in a while, and we always wave to him, and he waves back. He's a nice guy, the outside is just that, and you can't judge a book by it's cover.

Hi Sweetdee... an anorak, is a padded jacket with a hood that pulls in around the face if it's cold and wet... mostley worn in the late 60's, although today people do still wear them.

Usually kids who don't have the latest gear or kids who are made to wear them by their parents are now known as anoraks... a bit of a divey.

These days you don't even have to be wearing one, if the persons a bit slow on the uptake of something... a bit dry so to speak then their automtically referred to as... "he's a right anorak".. the sort of person that might go train spotting.

I hope you understand what I mean, it's very difficult to put into words.



No disrespect intended to any one that wears an anorak.

I think it's terrible you are all saying that someone without tattoos and piercings is 'the norm', this is what feels normal to some people! I could understand even ten years ago why people would be shocked to see coloured hair, piercings and tattoos but now we see it all the time walking down the street! I think if you are going to start that you have to answer what is 'normal'?

Synnen I cannot agree more that people don't do it for attention, it is as natural to them as buying designer jeans is to others!

Back to topic...
I think sometimes a 'hotty' will be friends with a 'big girl' but I think, depending on the personalities, it has the same effect as discussed about money - they both end up feeling bad! Sometimes the 'hotty' will feel bad when she gets all the male attention and the 'big girl' will feel bad because she sees her friend the 'hotty' is only wanted for her body and doesn't make real male friends!

But they're (or should that be "we're") not normal! I don't think society has a definition of 'normal'... but it's very easy to pick out things that are 'abnormal'.

Tattoos, outlandish hair syles, crazy fashion... they're all breaking away from what society sees as conventional. Surely the people doing this know this fact?

You've got to admit that tattoos have a whole ream of negative connotations attached to them. In some cultures they're linked to gang warfare. In some religions they're banned. Sometimes they are marks of time served in prison. I know the number of people having tattoos may be on the rise, but I bet the majority of people would be horrified at the thought of having one done!

Let's face it, save the few odd careers, if you've got a wacky haircut, facial piercings or tattoos that can't easily be covered up, you're not going to get the job over that 'normal' person! I know it's a terrible indictment of the way society views things, but it's just the way it is!

Just a fun fact, as of 2004 24% of Americans between 24-50 are tattooed.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

Just a fun fact, as of 2004 24% of Americans between 24-50 are tattooed.

---

Yep, and;

Quote:

---

The highest incidence of tattoos was found among the gay, lesbian and bisexual population (25%)...

---

:D

That makes sense since 2.5 to 3% of the American population is Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual.

Also, another statistic. 83% of people that have tattoos do not regret the decision.

Ok iAm! I think that is kind of the point we don't have a definition for 'normal' but why should anyone who has tattoos or peircings be singled out more than someone who treats Topshop as a religious pillar?

I also consider your point about tattoos in certain cultures being a negative thing, however in some cultures they are used to celebrate rite of passage and are not a negative thing at all! I am personally a lot more scared of other so called 'conventional' people in society than someone with a bit of flare to them!

(By the way, a friend of mine showed me a book in which there was a section dedicated to women in the 1950's being covered in tattoos, they also still wore the 'Better Homes' dresses and I think they looked awesome! Haha!)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

Also, another statistic. 83% of people that have tattoos do not regret the decision.

---

Or 17% of people that have tattoos regret the decision! Ha ha! :D

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

Quote:

---

(By the way, a friend of mine showed me a book in which there was a section dedicated to women in the 1950's being covered in tattoos, they also still wore the 'Better Homes' dresses and I think they looked awesome! Haha!)

---

And that style is definitely coming back!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Moomin

... why should anyone who has tattoos or peircings be singled out more than someone who treats Topshop as a religious pillar?

---

Because you can very easily change your clothes for various situations, it's much more difficult to change hair / remove tattoos / cover up piercing holes. Topshop is a highstreet store, so is part of current fashion trends. Topshop do some very nice stuff actually! Ha ha!

I honestly don't know how anyone can think having a tattoo is a conventional thing... I'm dumbfounded! :confused:

I have two tattoos planned. Every single one of my friends has at least one, my Dad had 17, and was a tattoo artist. 90% of the people at both of my jobs have tattoos. So FOR ME it IS the norm. I think it really depends on the environment that you are in.

Yep, it's the same for me ChihauhauMomma, I've got two, my Dad has two... my girlfriend has LOADS! Ha ha! A lot of people at my work have them, because it doesn't matter to our employers or to the job we do...

BUT, it's still not normal! At least not to 76% of Americans between 24-50 according to your stats! Ha ha!

I know it's sad to say, but there's certain people that I wouldn't want to see tattooed, or with any other 'modifications'... my bank manager, doctors and nurses, teachers, newscasters, police officers... I could go on, but I think you get the idea!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by iAMfromHuntersBar

I honestly don't know how anyone can think having a tattoo is a conventional thing ... I'm dumbfounded! :confused:

---

I think the point is that people who have tattoos and piercings shouldn't be looked at like freaks! I think it's disgusting people who are perfectly capable of doing a job would be turned away due to a tattoo!

Wasn't there a case not too long ago of someone being turned away from the military for having a tat?

Oh and by the way iAM, piercing holes don't offend people! In fact people usually hardly notice unless someone points them out!

Just because those people don't have tattoos doesn't mean that they deem them "abnormal".

Tattoos, piercings, and other modifications are a external representation of who we are internally. Self expression.

Just thought I'd add--My doctor that I work with is 45, has five degrees, and is a very successful doctor has three tattoos and five piercings. You can still have them and be "normal" and be discreet.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Moomin

I think the point is that people who have tattoos and piercings shouldn't be looked at like freaks! I think it's disgusting people who are perfectly capable of doing a job would be turned away due to a tattoo!

Wasn't there a case not too long ago of someone being turned away from the military for

---

I agree with you, but it doesn't change anything I'm afraid!

I've not read anything about that story, but yeah, if you have offensive tattoos, or tattoo that are conspicious (on your hands, face, neck) you'll be turned away. Also, whilst in the UK military, you should request authority from your chain of command before you get a tattoo!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

Just because those people don't have tattoos doesn't mean that they deem them "abnormal".

---

Yep, but because we can't ask them all, they may do! :D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

Tattoos, piercings, and other modifications are a external representation of who we are internally. Self expression.

---

Indeed they are, but a lot of people will judge you because of them and, to bring this thread back to it's point, they will be judging your book, wrongly or rightly, by it's cover!

Don't get me wrong here people I LOVE tattoo, piercings and coloured hair. Suicidegirls is one of my favourite websites. But I love it BECAUSE it's alternative!

Ooooh, 'alternative'... maybe I should have used that word from the outset! :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by iAMfromHuntersBar

I know it's sad to say, but there's certain people that I wouldn't want to see tattooed, or with any other 'modifications' ... my bank manager, doctors and nurses, teachers, newscasters, police officers ... I could go on, but I think you get the idea!

---

[/QUOTE]


Why would you find tatoos on bank managers, doctors, nurses, teachers, etc. offensive? In your eyes would it make these people less qualified to do their jobs?

Not that I think newscasters necessarily know what they are talking about, tattoos or not.

I wouldn't find them offensive... I just think they're in positions of resposibility and as such should portray that in their appearance, bearing and deportment.

I don't think it would make them any less qualified either, as, I suppose, this photo is supposed to show;
http://neatorama.cachefly.net/images...oed-doctor.jpg

I'm saying that people will, without a shadow of a doubt, without a second thought, instantly judge you if: you have a tattoo, an unusual piercing, an unusual dress sense, an unusual haircut, a physical disability, a mental disability, if you're too fat, too thin, wear glasses, have strange teeth (which, if you're American, is the whole of England apparently! He he!), have ginger hair, have NO hair... (should I go on?)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by iAMfromHuntersBar

I wouldn't find them offensive ... I just think they're in positions of resposibility and as such should portray that in their appearence, bearing and deportment.

I don't think it would make them any less qualified either, as, I suppose, this photo is supposed to show;
http://neatorama.cachefly.net/images...oed-doctor.jpg

I'm saying that people will, without a shadow of a doubt, without a second thought, instantly judge you if: you have a tattoo, an unusual piercing, an unusual dress sense, an unusual haircut, a physical disability, a mental disability, if you're too fat, too thin, wear glasses, have strange teeth (which, if you're American, is the whole of England apparently! He he!), have ginger hair, have NO hair ... (should I go on?)

---

I don't think there's that instant judging without a second thought or shadow of a doubt any longer. People were afraid of HD motorcycle riders at one time - now HDs are owned by Doctors, Lawyers, police officers. Things have changed.

I interview thousands of people a year and find there is no longer a preconceived notion on the part of witnesses about how a professional is supposed to look or dress.

Attorneys, during jury selection, no longer pay much attention to appearance, assuming it indicates a mindset or "class" (for lack of a better word) or level of education.

May very well be different in the UK.

Wowee, America - a land free from discrimination then?

I'm off out to buy my airplane ticket now! Ha ha!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by iAMfromHuntersBar

Wowee, America - a land free from discrimination then?

I'm off out to buy my airplane ticket now! Ha ha!

---

Ha ha! Probably a good idea.

I didn't say there's no discrimination - I said I don't think it rises to the level you've described.

I'm not sure which side of the fence I'm on here. I think it depends on exactly where you live. I live in a relatively small town, and I know that here, if you have visible tats, unusual piercings, a weird hair color, that you will not get that bank job, that PR job, that pulic figure, or most other high opportunity jobs, if you have these visible things.

I believe it's quite a bit different in larger area's, where it has started to become more acceptable, but the small cities?. it just isn't accepted the same way. A lot of people where I live, definitely do judge because of the way an individual appears on the outside. I don't think it's because they are meaning to be ignorant, I think it's because they really don't see it too much, and their immediate reaction is to be suspicious, or afraid.

Starbuck, as usual you are right on the money!

It's not the standard to see people w/ any kind of internal flare flashing it on their exterior and being well respected in a lousy small town... which is why the second my daughter is out of high school we're moving out of this tiny close minded town!

Times are changing and big cities and larger towns have people of all different ethnicities and external visible "bells and whistles". It's awesome to see!

I struggle here in this close minded town. I may not adorn any kind of outward decorative display of inner f.y.I. but I do feel very connected and identify w/ people who are open minded and easy going about the external "view".

It's very oppressive to be judged. I think that I have been judged my whole life. I used to have a virtual nervous tick about it... lol, (jks!), but by now I've made peace w/ it. It just still angers me when I have to listen to some people go on and on about those they don't even know... and have a negative reaction toward.

Exactly Sweet Dee. Something else just came to mind. My sister lives Charlotte, NC. which of course is a very large city. She is an employment recruiter in the medical field, for a large company. It is written right into their contract, that they are to be no visible tatoos, piercings, (other than ears) and no outlandish hair styles or colors. They also of course have a strict dress code.

My sister has 3 tatoos, none of which you can see if she dresses right. One is the Canadian Flag on her back, then a cartoon character on her ankle, and a chinese symbol on her hip. I do remember her telling me that one of her colleagues got fired, for getting a visible tattoo. So it really isn't as acceptable in the workplace, as some might think. A lot of these places do have contract to sign in order to be employed with a specific company, or like Hunter said, the police force and so on.

Just one more quick example. My niece had an eyebrow piercing, and she had pink and blue hair at the time. She applied for a job at Quisnos (sub shop) and they told her that they would not hire her unless she dyed her hair back to a 'normal' color, and took out the piercing when she came to work. She didn't do that, but ended up with a job as a delivery driver, which paid much less.

I work for a small company and my boss won't hire anyone for the counter that has visible piercings anywhere other than the ears. So far, we have never had anyone with a tattoo apply (mostly women).

The company also runs an answering service and the looks go from normal to the extreme, but the employees don't interact personally with the customer, so the boss doesn't care.

My husband is retired US Navy and nearly every sailor has a tattoo, but it can't be visible. If a sailor decides he wants a sleeve tattoo then he has also decided he wants to wear the long sleeve version of his uniform year round, no matter the climate. Many choose to do just that.

My sister works for the public school system and she also has a dress code, hair code and no tatts clause in her contract. Since she is Miss Coldwater Creek, that isn't a problem for her.

I'm a jeans and sneaker girl and love that my workplace does't require office attire. I would die. My sister, the novelist, makes up for all our normalcy and has 5 tattoos - but it too chicken to get anything pierced. Go figure.

Never judge people, never judge.. :)

It sure is nice to see that there are people whom exist that do not subscribe to the judging side. It heartens me to see this you guys!

So, am I to understand that these wonderful non judgers would just assume not judge a very beautiful friend for being such a man magnet as much as they'd refrain from judging a tatoo'd laden piercing lover? IF SO...

Then there is HOPE.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SweetDee

It sure is nice to see that there are people whom exist that do not subscribe to the judging side. It heartens me to see this you guys!

So, am I to understand that these wonderful non judgers would just assume not judge a very beautiful friend for being such a man magnet as much as they'd refrain from judging a tatoo'd laden piercing lover? IF SO...

Then there is HOPE.

---

Okay, now you've got me intrigued. You've posted several times that you are a man magnet and very beautiful. Why don't you post your photo?

I think people does judge people sometime in their life one way or another one wayl- whether it is giving that girl in the too-tight outfit a crappy glance - it is still judging or criticizing.

So why do we judge other people? Is it because of jealousy? Dislike? Disappointment? Or is it just a human nature - I mean, is it natural or normal to judge people because we are only human? But when is the judgement taken too far?

Sometimes when I am out with my daughter, who is 7, we see teenagers and sometimes grown men walking down the street with their pants to their knees and you see their underwears I want to say "pull out your pants". Then my daughter ask why is that guys underwear showing and this is in the daytime. Or today I saw this pregnant lady that had to at least be 8 months chain smoking and I wanted to snatch the cigarettes from her hand because who smokes when they are pregnant putting their baby at risk. Also, I dislike when my friend was knowing dating a married man and it took 2 years for me and my friends to talk sense into her. I was judging the people actions not the people itself.

At my job there is also a dress code of do's and dont's. Ladies can't wear minshirts and no visible tattoos. Guys must be clean shaven or if they have facial hair it must be maintain. Also, they are against romantic work relationships. Some jobs that I had in the past none of these things matter but when I sign out for this job you was handed a code of ethics and the do's and don't's and it was very straight forward and clearly written. I guess it basically depends on what type of job you have.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by liz28

Sometimes when I am out with my daughter, who is 7, we see teenagers and sometimes grown men walking down the street with their pants to their knees and you see their underwears I want to say "pull out your pants". Then my daughter ask why is that guys underwear showing and this is in the daytime. Or today I saw this pregnant lady that had to at least be 8 months chain smoking and I wanted to snatch the cigarettes from her hand because who smokes when they are pregnant putting their baby at risk. Also, I dislike when my friend was knowing dating a married man and it took 2 years for me and my friends to talk sense into her. I was judging the people actions not the people itself.

---

The big thing right now where I am - and I thought the craze had passed - is pants so low that they are actually UNDER the guy's rear end. I have no idea how people walk.

I see it mostly when I'm working. Maybe it's a gang thing.

I know what you mean about pregnant women smoking - can't believe women who know better take that chance.

And how DO you explain how kids dress to a 7 year old? I took a neighbor's foster child school clothes shopping just for a treat and couldn't BELIEVE the clothes "they" are showing for 7 year olds! I see the middle school kids and the boys look like unplucked chickens and the girls look 20.

Sometimes I'm glad I have dogs and they wear what I tell them to wear - :)

LOL! Hi Judy! Do you know that they are now selling thong underwear for little girls? I mean pre-school!! Now how much more insane can you get than that? And parents are buying them! What the hell is wrong with this picture?