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-   -   Why isn't my former teacher responding to my texts? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=754444)

  • Jun 19, 2013, 01:09 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jordonj View Post
    We've had a conversation when texting twice before. But anyways are you trying to tell me to just move on and never see her again...?

    Move on. If she contacts you, great. If not, leave her alone. The ball is in her court.
  • Jun 19, 2013, 01:33 PM
    Jordonj
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Well, you haven't gotten any positive vibrations lately. A text is easy to reply to.

    I suppose give it one last time. If she doesn't seem interested, take that as a no and closure.

    Well this girl I talk to, she's friends with her former teacher now and she's telling me the only thing I can do is to go up to her school and talk to her because then I can see what she has to say face to face and to get things straightened out. Do you still think that's a bad idea?
  • Jun 19, 2013, 01:49 PM
    JudyKayTee
    "Well this girl I talk to, she's friends with her former teacher now and shes telling me the only thing I can do is to go up to her school and talk to her because then I can see what she has to say face to face and to get things straightened out. Do you still think that's a bad idea?"


    Straightened out - what are you getting straightened out? I do not think confronting her is a good idea. If she is saving your texts and she gets another one, she will know 100% that you are a stalker.

    You don't respond to direct questions This is a former teacher, not a relative. She owes you exactly nothing.
    She's been polite and civil. You, in return, are discussing her with other people and can't understand advice that you leave her alone.

    What part of "leave her alone" don't you understand?


    At 25 she probably doesn't need an obsessed teenager in her life.

    Just out of curiosity - is this some type of special needs class?
  • Jun 19, 2013, 02:05 PM
    Jordonj
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Just out of curiosity - is this some type of special needs class?

    A what?
  • Jun 19, 2013, 02:08 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jordonj View Post
    A what?

    Were you enrolled in a special education class ?
  • Jun 19, 2013, 02:12 PM
    joypulv
    You have used some words that are a bit worrisome, such as 'miserable' and 'really miss her.' You also have acted deviously by emailing from another teacher's email, after being ignored twice from your mom's. You have steadfastly refused to acknowledge every single strong advice from every single one of us to leave her alone. Now you are bringing up the advice of some friend that it's OK to go find her at her school.
    This really is sounding like a crush, an obsession, with a hint of stalking. You don't seem to grasp polite ways people have to be nice but to distance themselves from you.
    This young woman teacher was probably right out of college when you were in her class, if she is 25 now. She didn't quite know how to set boundaries, but is learning.
    PLEASE believe us.
    A 16 year old should not have a friendless, empty summer ahead of her. Why don't you have a summer job or activity lined up? Where are your friends your age? We keep asking you, and you keep avoiding answering.
  • Jun 19, 2013, 02:16 PM
    Jordonj
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    Were you enrolled in a special education class ?

    Yes

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    You have used some words that are a bit worrisome, such as 'miserable' and 'really miss her.' You also have acted deviously by emailing from another teacher's email, after being ignored twice from your mom's. You have steadfastly refused to acknowledge every single strong advice from every single one of us to leave her alone. Now you are bringing up the advice of some friend that it's OK to go find her at her school.
    This really is sounding like a crush, an obsession, with a hint of stalking. You don't seem to grasp polite ways people have to be nice but to distance themselves from you.
    This young woman teacher was probably right out of college when you were in her class, if she is 25 now. She didn't quite know how to set boundaries, but is learning.
    PLEASE believe us.
    A 16 year old should not have a friendless, empty summer ahead of her. Why don't you have a summer job or activity lined up? Where are your friends your age? We keep asking you, and you keep avoiding answering.

    Yes I hangout with my friends and I have things to do like dance, babysitting, lessons, swimming and tubing. I try to keep myself busy. I don't think about her all the time, only every once in a while I'll think of her. I'm not obsessed and trust me I really don't want to bother her because I know ill just seem clingy I'm just very curious.
  • Jun 19, 2013, 02:24 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jordonj View Post
    I'm just very curious.

    About what?
  • Jun 19, 2013, 02:26 PM
    Jordonj
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    About what?

    About how she feels keeping in touch.
  • Jun 19, 2013, 02:31 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jordonj View Post
    About how she feels keeping in touch.

    Like someone said, the ball is in her court. Now you wait to see if she answers your texts or calls you or emails you.

    Are you on the autism spectrum?
  • Jun 19, 2013, 02:34 PM
    Jordonj
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Like someone said, the ball is in her court. Now you wait to see if she answers your texts or calls you or emails you.

    Are you on the autism spectrum?

    I'll wait as long as I can. And no I have hearing loss..
  • Jun 19, 2013, 02:38 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jordonj View Post
    I'll wait as long as I can. And no I have hearing loss..

    Autism has nothing to do with hearing loss.

    May I ask why you are in special ed?
  • Jun 19, 2013, 02:41 PM
    J_9
    WG, she doesn't have autism, or on the autism spectrum. She has hearing loss. That is why she was in special ed.
  • Jun 19, 2013, 02:43 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    WG, she doesn't have autism, or on the autism spectrum. She has hearing loss. That is why she was in special ed.

    Thanks, J. As I reread it and mentally add a comma, you are correct and I didn't catch that.
  • Jun 19, 2013, 02:55 PM
    Jordonj
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Thanks, J. As I reread it and mentally add a comma, you are correct and I didn't catch that.

    Why do you ask?
  • Jun 19, 2013, 02:55 PM
    JudyKayTee
    This sounded like some sort of specialized education, extra attention, this teacher understands.

    Spidey senses a few posts ago.
  • Jun 19, 2013, 02:59 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jordonj View Post
    Why do you ask?

    People with autism often form a special bond with one person or cat or dog or horse. The famous autistic animal activist, Temple Grandin, loves cattle.
  • Jun 19, 2013, 03:05 PM
    Jordonj
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    People with autism often form a special bond with one person or cat or dog or horse. The famous autistic animal activist, Temple Grandin, loves cattle.

    Oh okay. Well hey I got one more question.. Her birthday is in a month, I want to send her a text saying happy birthday but I really didn't want to send her another text, should I anyway?
  • Jun 19, 2013, 03:19 PM
    joypulv
    No text. You can send a card, through the mail. But if you don't know her address, send it care of the school where she works, and they will forward it.
    Cards sent through the mail are non-invasive. They don't appear when you don't want them, or clog your phone. They also give you a chance to include a well thought out little note that she can read when she wants. They also indicate that care was taken picking them out. They are an old fashioned gesture that people love to get, but not many people send anymore.

    BUT, and this is a huge but, if you can't handle not knowing whether she got it, don't do anything at all.
  • Jun 19, 2013, 05:46 PM
    Alty
    I have to ask, and I'm not sure if anyone already asked this, but this is my gut speaking. Are you attracted to this teacher? Is this a sexual attraction, and that's why you're so upset that she hasn't contacted you?

    It really sounds like more than just a teacher student relationship. The fact is, if you are attracted to her, and she meets with you, becomes a friend (because there's no reason to think that she's also attracted to you based on what you've posted), she could lose her job. Just forming a friendship with you, seeing you out of school, contacting you when she's no longer your teacher, could lead to her losing her job. Sounds to me like she figured out that you want more than just a pat on the back ,and good luck in your future, and she's now protecting her future by ceasing all contact.

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