Ask Me Help Desk - Quick question

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

How effective do you think condoms are on average when fresh and used correctly? Only 80% at best....

You are aware you can be on the pill AND use condoms and still get pregnant?

Yes

Quote:

Originally Posted by playbunny_1995

Yes

And J_9 isn't the only prominent person on this site that has happened to... so figure having more than 3 people that had kids exactly in that manner... you know personally very well... I can say that.

If you want something that will kill every dream you have had for your life... get pregnant. Everything YOU want stops mattering... when you have a hungry little mouth to feed.

And also consider few guys your age are going to want anything to do with a single mom... except sleeping with her.

You will be lucky to find a guy mature enough to see someone else's kid as something other than baggage before you are in your 30's. And the pool of single women without kids dries up.

I'm telling you this as a guy... and hopefully you listen because it only takes a moment and your life will never, ever be the same... and odds are... this boy won't be around.

I've known too many this exact thing has happened to.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

And J_9 isnt' the only prominent person on this site that has happened to.....so figure having more than 3 people that had kids exactly in that manner....you know personally very well....I can say that.

If you want something that will kill every dream you have had for your life......get pregnant. Everything YOU want stops mattering....when you have a hungry little mouth to feed.

But I never said I want to get pregnant me and him now we not ready

Quote:

Originally Posted by playbunny_1995

But I never said I want to get pregnant me and him now we not ready

#1. You want a hotel room..

#2. You plan to have sex in the hotel room

#3. It doesn't matter what you want or plan for... it just happens that easy. Having sex leads to having a baby. Usually when you least want it.

Because if you AREN'T ready for a baby... then you don't have sex... because it happens very frequently.

It happened to over 12 girls in my High School class before graduation... and I was in a small school, a very small school. None of them planned on it either.

Quote:

But I never said I want to get pregnant me and him now we not ready

Honey, I didn't want to get pregnant either. But I did. Two times I used two forms of protection. Once I didn't use any (she's my only daughter) and the 4th time I was told it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to get pregnant.

So, if you aren't ready to be a parent, if your parents would "kill you," then why have sex? It's really not all it's cracked up to be until you are with someone long term, in a marriage, who will stick with you for the long haul.

I also want to say that I was married when I had my first two, using the pill and the condom. I was his first. He couldn't handle having only one woman, so he cheated. We are divorced and the children suffered.

Now, you are 17, turning 18 (whatever that means). Are you ready to be a single mother? Is the show Teen Moms fascinating to you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

Honey, I didn't want to get pregnant either. But I did. Two times I used two forms of protection. Once I didn't use any (she's my only daughter) and the 4th time I was told it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to get pregnant.

So, if you aren't ready to be a parent, if your parents would "kill you," then why have sex? It's really not all it's cracked up to be until you are with someone long term, in a marriage, who will stick with you for the long haul.

I also want to say that I was married when I had my first two, using the pill and the condom. I was his first. He couldn't handle having only one woman, so he cheated. We are divorced and the children suffered.

Now, you are 17, turning 18 (whatever that means). Are you ready to be a single mother? Is the show Teen Moms fascinating to you?

Damn um no comments and no I'm not ready to get pregnant and no that show don't fascinate me

So what should I do to control myself and my boyfriend he is out of control

I'm willing to talk with you woman to woman about how all of this works and how birth control isn't 100% effective. BUT you have to be willing to listen to me as a professional.

I told you my story above, but I also want you to know what I do as a profession. I deliver babies. 4 nights a week, 12 hours a night.

If you have any questions, I am more than happy to help answer them in a reasonable way.

Quote:

Originally Posted by playbunny_1995

So what should I do to control my self and my bf he is out of control

Say no and don't put yourself into a private place alone with him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

I'm willing to talk with you woman to woman about how all of this works and how birth control isn't 100% effective. BUT you have to be willing to listen to me as a professional.

I told you my story above, but I also want you to know what I do as a profession. I deliver babies. 4 nights a week, 12 hours a night.

If you have any questions, I am more than happy to help answer them in a reasonable way.

I never heard about that job

If you are not ready to be a single mother, and you will, you tell him point blank to get control of himself or he needs to take a hike.

You need to have more self respect for yourself. Don't let a boy talk you into anything you aren't ready for. You aren't ready to be a mother.

Take PRIDE in your virginity! Be proud that you aren't going to be 18 and raising a baby and have no future other than living off welfare. Get an education. Be prepared for motherhood rather than being surprised by it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Say no and don't put yourself into a private place alone with him.

I do that a lot and he hates it but deals with it but sometime I get in my you know times and just have to doit

Quote:

I do that a lot and he hates it but deals with it but sometime I get in my you know times and just have to doit

Huh?

We aren't teens. We don't text. The site requires complete words and sentences.

In order for me to help you properly, you will have to help me properly.

And OK I'll keep doing what I do tell him no

Can I share something with you?

] I said I get horny you know...

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

Can I share something with you?

Yes sure

Woman to woman and I won't cut you down for your choices, but I want you to listen carefully. This is a true story. Okay?

My daughter Rae is 19. She is just finishing her first year in college for Social Work.

Last year about this time of the year (Prom) she came to me (she had a boyfriend, we'll call him Frank), and said that she was worried because Frank was being a little too forward when it came to sexual advances. I told her what we are all telling you here. I understand what being "horny" is all about. Sure I might be ancient to you, but I've been there, done that and got the tee shirt.

Well, long story short, Frank got a hotel room. Rae was scared. Thank GOD she had the brains to come to me and talk to me. It ended up that she went to prom with 3 of her girlfriends and 2 boys. She is still a virgin and proud of it. Frank, on the other hand, has had a baby and 2 on the way with 2 different teen girls. That makes 3 babies and 3 mothers. Too much drama. Frank also has a restraining order on my daughter as he refuses to leave her alone.

Is this what you want? While it may seem far fetched, it's always possible.

All I ask is that you make wise choices. Consider the consequences to every action that you make. What may seem like a good idea now, could lead you down to a very volatile path.

I would like to add that that first time is not going to be pleasurable. It's going to hurt like he!! unless you are drunk, but that's a different subject all together.

Honey, sex is supposed to be saved for someone you want to share your life with. AFTER marriage. Why do you think there are all of these "baby mama drama" threads all over this site?

I just want you to remember that the decisions you make today create the consequences of tomorrow.

Are you ready to have sex at prom in what May? Are you prepared to be a mother in February? Yes, you can get pregnant the first time you have sex no matter what kind of birth control you use, and the "pull out method" is not a form of birth control. Just don't expect the first time to be fun. It WILL hurt.

You've gotten some great advice on this thread, I would suggest you follow it. If you're horny, masturbate. Masturbating doesn't lead to pregnancy, sex does, no matter how careful you are.

If your boyfriend won't stop bugging you about it, then dump him. Obviously he cares more about sex than he does about you.

Be smart. The decision to have sex can be life changing, and usually not in a good way. Wait until you're ready to have a child.

I've said all I can say. I just hope she doesn't end up in my labor bed in February.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

I've said all I can say. I just hope she doesn't end up in my labor bed in February.

Or with one of the numerous diseases she could get not only from sex, but from a hotel that charges by the hour. She'll be lucky if she survives to make it to your labor bed in February.

But if she DOES make it to that bed, I would have to treat her for one of the many STDs she could get in the jungle room.

Makes one think about the lyrics of the infamous Guns 'N' Roses song "Welcome to the Jungle!"