Contemplating92,
I like the way you bared your feelings like you did. Sometimes when I am upset, it helps me feel better just to write it all out (a kind of release of sorts, I guess). I have even sometimes found my own answer to certain situations, just by writing out any and all rambling thoughts and feelings about things.

Anyway, I feel for you. It must really hurt. I don't have the answers, I'm sorry to say, but just wanted to let you know, I am sorry you were treated that way. You did not deserve it. No kid deserves to be mistreated physically, emotionally or verbally.

You seem to be a very compassionate, caring, intelligent and talented human being, in spite of it all. Stay strong and believe in yourself. You are worthy of good things. My advice is to listen to Wondergirl.

I really do, my friends love me, but I don't know, I just want yano like a mum that I can talk to about bf's and that and like a dad that spoils me and will be a dad, or just the mum part haha, I don't know it's like my sister always talks to my mum so easily, I just wish I had that bond haha and I doubt I'll ever get married, I suck in relationships, I have really bad trust issues with guys haha it sucks, I would want to though but I doubt it haha and judy kaytee thanks haha ^_^ and karenknows, I like writing too haha, it scared me and I've wanted to do this for a while, but I always kind of backed out last second, I'm scared that someone'll just find it weird or take the piss or be like, she loves you, she's your mum, but I know she doesn't, she hasn't done for a very long time, I just don't understand why :/ why am I the exception when it comes to her kids, haha I called her a while back, she was like well I've got to do the tea for the kids so I'll be round on Thursday to drop off your money, it just hurts like **** when she does that, like says the kids, like I'm not apart of that anymore and she came round with my birthday cards and out of my two nans, one died about 3 years ago and I was the only person that was really upset, because she was never close with my mum, because she was my dad's mum, she was rich so my dad only cared about her money and so did my auntie, it was so retarded I hate money, anyway my nan seemed to like me better than my sister and would always read with me, because I love it, she treated me like she loved me and when she died my dad phoned my mum to tell her and I was going downstairs for a drink and my mum covered the speaking bit on the phone to whisper to me, I thought she was going to say "it's your dad" she always did that because she knew I hated talking to him so then I'd be really quiet and she'd pretend I was out, but instead she said "your nan's dead" I just said oh, turned round, went to my bedroom and just kind of cried, she was the second person to die in my family and I loved her, but on my birthday my mum gave me the cards and said, your uncles are there, so's your auntie's and your grandads, so I was like isn't nans there? (my mums mum not my dads, I dislike my mums mum, she's like my mum) and she smirked and said, no :s your nans dead, I just kind of stopped bit my lip and said no, I mean your mum, she said oh yeah of course it's their, then left, I just hate how she does these things, I just don't get any of it :/ and it hurts like ****.

Hugs to contemplating92 -- (((((contemplating92)))))

My nan (dad's mom) gave me the total love that only nans can give. She used to read comic books to me, even though I could read already, and would take me shopping and would treat me like a princess. My other nan was raped by a workman when she was in hospital for something in her 30s (no one talked about it back then). After the rape (there was no counseling then), she never spoke to anyone ever again, so I missed even hearing her voice. She was always "just there," keeping up her house and cooking but no affection or speech. I never knew her story until long after she died, then I finally understood why she never hugged me.

Nans are so important in their grandchildren's lives.

Have you ever written fiction stories or kept a journal?

Sorry to hear that :( and I used to, but I never really showed them to anyone, I stopped writing ages ago, my sister used to write a lot and wanted to be an author, haha if my sister wanted to do something it was like she was amazing and I sucked, I got the highest grades out of my whole high school class in catering and it was like it didn't matter because my sister wanted to be a chef as well :/ so yeah, she liked acting, but she's really bad at reading, so it was my thing and I always loved reading, out of all of us, I'm the most similar to my mum, we both read a lot and are smart haha and I wouldn't write down anything in case someone found it haha like someone that knew me, but I don't know I'm more of a drawer and painter I love art, but I had to choose between art and performing arts in college and so I chose performing arts, but I've never really talked to anyone about my life haha mysterious little me.

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Originally Posted by contemplating92

i've never really talked to anyone about my life haha mysterious little me.

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Well, you've come to the right place! We love to hear about young people and all about their talents and hopes and dreams.

My young son is an artist and prefers to do India ink line drawings, very detailed stuff. He hates doing watercolors or temperas. What do you like to draw or paint?

cool :O I like to draw like beautiful stuff, like nature and I don't know haha I like to find beauty I things ^_^ haha it sounds weird but I do haha

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Originally Posted by contemplating92

cool :O i like to draw like beautiful stuff, like nature and i dunno haha i like to find beauty i things ^_^ haha it sounds weird but i do haha

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Nature, like trees and clouds and landscapes and scenic stuff? No, it doesn't sound weird at all. Have you even hear of the famous painter named Constable? John Constable - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Do you ever draw animals?

yeah ^_^ and he's cool, my favourite artist is rene magritte, he's amazing and his paintings are so weird but make me think a lot haha and yeah, I love animals haha

His paintings are NOT weird!! (well, maybe a little bit) Dali's are and Paul Klee's and some of Picasso's too, but that's what makes them interesting and creative.

XD they're so amazing they're really thought provoking haha and yeah true haha

Aren't you supposed to be in bed getting your beauty sleep??

Haha it's 5pm over here :P

What will you do this evening? Watch television or read or draw or write something? What's for supper?

Read haha I love it, I'm reading manga now, it's like a japanese comic book, so you read it backwards but it's in english, I love them and not too sure :/ probably pizza and chips, we've got to be careful because I'm low on money so haven't got that much food :/

Ah, manga. I was a librarian for years and used to catalog manga. People couldn't figure out how to read it at first. Now they are very, very popular. The Love, Hina series is checked out all the time.

I love manga, I like the romance ones haha but I like the phsychological ones as well and horror haha

Can you draw in that manga style?

What will you put on the pizza? What will you drink? Are the chips greasy?

Haha sort of I can do manga eyes really good, I just can't do two on a face haha, I can never get them the same :/ haha

Manga characters' hair is always interesting. That should be easy.