PS--I just saw the reddie you gave me. Please look at the rules on those again. They're to be used to dispute FACT, not OPINION.

Secondly, I'm hardly a YOUNG woman--I'm 36. And it's not "My way or the highway", either. What it is, though, is that it's NOT "my mother-in-law's way or no way"--which is how YOU come across. You've offered a "compromise" of every other year. That's been turned down. Now you have to negotiate a compromise WITH your sons, not YOU making a decision and then getting to be hurt when no one else agrees with it, or when it's not what you REALLY want (which is your family at YOUR house on Christmas day).

I spend every other year with my in-laws. It's a 4 hour drive to their house, or a 4 hour drive the direction to my family. We cannot do both in one day--it's impossible. I still prefer to spend my holidays with MY family, though, and probably always will. It's also a factor that we don't have kids. If we DID have kids--it would move to every THIRD year with each, so that I could have a year off at home and not have to drive 8 hours in one day or weekend just to have Christmas with family. That's too much for a kid! Of course, all family would be welcome at MY home on those off years.

You have to adjust to what the reality of the situation is. And frankly, YOUR reality is that your SONS do not want to spend that time at your house either, or they would have put their foot down with their wives. So... talk to your SONS and find out why they don't want to be there.