dontknownuthin thank you your comments are very much appreciated,its hard knowing that this person gave birth to me and I see how much I love and care for my own kids,I don't get her behaviour and I think I never will.
I am staying well away from her now as I know that it will never be a mother/daughter relationship,I used to feel guilty but now that is dwindling she does not deserve me or my family,she has just been chipping away at me for a very long time and it got to me a lot of times,but now I have not seen her for a while I grow stronger every day,I don't have many people to talk to but my partner understands and I have also been to a councillor who helped,it also helps me talking on sites like this,thank you again x

Ok what do you think of a mother who is jealous of you, talks bad about you to other family members, if you do anything nice for her she turns it into something bad, if you have someone good in your life she hates them for no reason, but if your break up she becomes their best friend, she always plays the victim, I have so many stories to tell it would take months for me to get them all out , I will give 2 examples, I decided after my divorce that I needed to renew my life with Christ I dated a few guys with no luck and just figured if God wanted me to have someone he would have to send them, mind you I'm 41 my mom 65 we have never had a relationship as far back as I can remember I literally hated her, one day after church I decided I'm going to start good and go by her home and see her and before I could get out the door she called my sister and said she didn't come to see me she only wanted me to see what outfit she had on, I was so pissed cause I was trying to be a christian , so fast forward I had a relationship with a guy whom I thought was an OK guy to date but found out he had issues, one was I think he was gay and he was just strange I broke up with him after 2 months and he began stalking and harassing me he would be in the parking deck at my job watching me , also when I get home he would throw paper, roses , liquer bottles , chicken bones and all kind of trash every week when I got home,in my yard I have a restraining order police reports and now I bringing criminal charges against him I'm awaiting a court date and I really fear for my life, my mom knew all of this I was really scared and guess what I found out the guy who has been stalking me has been going to my mom home bringing her gifts and he has been letting him eat at her home during the holidays, that was the ultimate betryal I have decided to cut ties due to my stress I hate I don't have a mom but I would rather live in peace than have her in my life.