Ask Me Help Desk - How do we measure innocence between a man and a women these days?

Quote:

Originally Posted by flowerchildnea

Over the holidays I was asked to house sit for a friends parents, while they visited her in Chicago.

I posted a bulletin on my web page telling all my friends where I'd be over the holidays, and to visit me because I'd be lonely.

Well one of those days my friend was in the area at his moms house, and he asked me what I was doing.

He said he could come over and keep me company for a while, but he couldn't stay long because he had to wake up early to go to long beach with his mom and sister for an early xmas party. It was already late when he came over, so we ended up watching a movie on the couch. When the movie was over, I looked over and he was sleeping.

I gently woke him up and asked him "Where are you sleeping tonight?" and he said "my moms. Her couch is leather, and I stick to it. It's really uncomfortable, I'm soo not looking forward to it"

I felt bad for him, so as he was getting up to leave I told him "You can stay here, there's plenty of rooms you can sleep in" So he agrees to stay.

He set his stuff up in the room down the hall, but hangs out in the room I'm sleeping in because he knows I have a hard time sleeping, so he offers to stay with me for a little while. I turn on the TV, and we both watch it until my eye lids get heavy, and I roll over on my stomach, but I still can't sleep.

So, he ended up massaging my back to help me sleep, even though he had to get up early the next morning to go to long beach with his family.

"Isn't it totally innocent if a guy comes over, because he knows you're all alone house sitting. And massages your back to help you sleep. And doesn't even try anything?"

That is a true friend if you are adults

Thank you!

I know... he is an amazing friend, and nothing more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

From what I have seen nowadays kids look to the other kids, older sisters and brothers and
EVEN parents and have an attitude like well my best friend, all the kids at school, my 23 yr old sister, my mom, or whoever does it so I should be able to too.
My daughter was always a strong stubborn independent kid from the time she could first walk and talk and it was a positive until she got to her teens and then she started acting like she was in her 20's and would not listen to anybody.
Many kids have an attitude that they have as much rights even more because they are the kids and they follow the example they think you are setting and they see it as their justification. I have noticed many teens do not seem to grasp the distinction between an adult a kid any more.

I totally and completely know what you're saying.

Like I said, I have a huge family. 9 siblings, 6 sisters, and 2 brothers.

I'm 3rd oldest, so not only did I practically raise my younger siblings while both parents were out working to support us, but I KNOW how conniving they can be when it comes to the whole "Well she's doing it" approach.

So I make sure not to do things my younger siblings can copy. And if I DO (being as it is I AM an adult, and should be able to do things that teens shouldn't be doing) I'll make sure to keep it from them.

Not necessarily like a secret, but I just don't talk about it. Because it's none of their business, and it IS my life.

To everyone who has responded and taken the time to give me your opinion, thoughts, etc... THANK YOU!!

Now I must tell you what this is all about.

I was having a conversation with a guy I met 2 years ago. I was still dating my ex boyfriend at the time, but the sparks were starting to simmer and die out.

So I was getting bored, and looking for a little excitement. But I never intended on cheating, or causing problems, or anything of that nature (And I didn't).

The background of my dating life is that I was 18 when I started dating my 6th grade crush. We dated for 4 years before we mutually ended it over his decision to put business first. He was and still is my first, and only bf... ex bf.

He's in the philippines now, and has been going on and off for the past 3 years, where he's working on developing his own software programming business. (We've only been together for 4, and he spent 3 of those years going away for months at a time, so things were bound to fall apart).

Back to the story, I talked to this guy I met on aim at least once a day (when I first met him 2 years ago). It was about a month before I finally decided to meet up with him to hang out for a while.

We just talked, and carried on as friends even though we felt more for one another, but knew we couldn't and shouldn't act on it, because of my dating situation at the time.

Well we only hung out once again after that before the reality of me having a bf hit, and things just became complicated, and we stopped talking for about a year.

Well now I'm single, and some how we started talking again.

I don't like him the way I used to... in fact he drives me insane, and I can't stand him at times. But he persists on trying to get me to hang out with him.

Anyways, the story about me and this guy (the back massage guy) came up. And he gets irate, and starts telling me something DID happen. And a back massage isn't innocent, and he just starts carrying on saying I knew the guys intentions before I let him come over, and stuff like that.

At some point he posts something regarding this story in a forum, and has people (who he claims aren't his friends) write nasty things about me. And say that it's not innocent to have a guy over, and this and that.

I'm appalled by his behavior, and ask him what it's going to take for him to believe that that night was innocent. I didn't care about proving it to him, I cared about proving it to myself, and showing him that he was wrong for accusing me of something that never happened.

So we came to the agreement that if I posted a question of my own in a forum (this one), and had people respond positively in my favor, then he'd leave me alone, and apologize.

Well he apologized, but now I'm still having to explain myself to some of you. =/