Thanks. I guess I should stop believing what the bible says - it's too destructive. And I know that I'm supposed to love this body I'm in but I just can't bring myself to love it, no matter what I've done, I just hate it, and I'm not talking about what it looks like, but about the way it functions. Every single month I go into a depression so deep that I want only to die - and that is a result of hormonal swings and nothing else. Yesterday I was thinking of talking to my son and offering to kill myself so he could have all my money and his money problems will be resolved for a while. This is the effect on me of existing in this body. This is why I do not believe that there is a LOVING god, but one who hates me and most women. Because I did not choose this. I did not design it. I have not approved of it and if it were up to me there would be a positive somewhere in this existence that wouldn't be negated by the functioning of this really ridiculous, ineffectual, counter-intuitive biological system.

Anyway, thanks for your answer. I appreciate your kindness. Thanks.

Your anger and frustration are misplaced as we all go through being human and all it means. Even your disdain for the bible, is a clear showing of how misplaced your feelings are. Dear lady, look to yourself to accept yourself, and love yourself, and take responsibility for your own wellbeing and happiness. Jeeez, lady go see a doctor, and ease your suffering and misery, and that of those around you who care. Don't blame God, or the bible, for your own inability to love yourself, when there is all kinds of help available. Have a good life, if you want.