Maybe I can find a spot for why I picked CTU in the first paragraph

The classes fit into my schedule
It allows me to take care of my son
The advisors at CTU seem to be genuine and want to help right away

You sort of did with this paragraph (NOTE TO CLOUGH: word correctly spelled):

Five years ago, I was living with my parents; my husband was the only party bringing in money. I decided that I had to make a change, but I knew I needed to be home with my son also. I enrolled for classes at CTU online. It gave me the opportunity that a traditional college did not. It gave me the opportunity to learn and be there for my family. I was worried at first that I would not get back into the swing of things; other things that worried me were; that I am not smart enough, suffering from another stroke and losing the support from my family. I soon found that I was getting great grades. My family and friends supported me for the most part by watching my son while I studied or when I had to finish an important assignment. Some had worries that I would get stressed out or I would not have enough time for my family. I soon proved them wrong by handling all my responsibilities with no issues.

Is it okay if you label your explanations/answers?

Thanks!

I believe so

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You sort of did with this paragraph (NOTE TO CLOUGH: word correctly spelled):

Five years ago, I was living with my parents; my husband was the only party bringing in money. I decided that I had to make a change, but I knew I needed to be home with my son also. I enrolled for classes at CTU online. It gave me the opportunity that a traditional college did not. It gave me the opportunity to learn and be there for my family. I was worried at first that I would not get back into the swing of things; other things that worried me were; that I am not smart enough, suffering from another stroke and losing the support from my family. I soon found that I was getting great grades. My family and friends supported me for the most part by watching my son while I studied or when I had to finish an important assignment. Some had worries that I would get stressed out or I would not have enough time for my family. I soon proved them wrong by handling all my responsibilities with no issues.

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yeah I see that

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You sort of did with this paragraph (NOTE TO CLOUGH: word correctly spelled):

Five years ago, I was living with my parents; my husband was the only party bringing in money. I decided that I had to make a change, but I knew I needed to be home with my son also. I enrolled for classes at CTU online. It gave me the opportunity that a traditional college did not. It gave me the opportunity to learn and be there for my family. I was worried at first that I would not get back into the swing of things; other things that worried me were; that I am not smart enough, suffering from another stroke and losing the support from my family. I soon found that I was getting great grades. My family and friends supported me for the most part by watching my son while I studied or when I had to finish an important assignment. Some had worries that I would get stressed out or I would not have enough time for my family. I soon proved them wrong by handling all my responsibilities with no issues.

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And to clear up I also have a part where I have to imagine my life five years from now so that is why this paragraph is here

I'm going to have to go, kids. Need to get ready to play for church tomorrow. Am staying at friends for the time being, as I've mentioned previously. Need to get an outfit, music and check on my cat.

We do have time to work on this. I will return later tonight and on other nights.

Thanks!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Clough

I'm gonna have to go, kids. Need to get ready to play for church tomorrow. Am staying at friends for the time being, as I've mentioned previously. Need to get an outfit, music and check on my cat.

We do have time to work on this. I will return later tonight and on other nights.

Thanks!

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Thank you so much and take care

That five-years-from-now imagining paragraph is in the wrong place. Correct?

I is in the section my vision

I am talking to my professor tomorrow evening and I will ask if it has to be in order 1-7 and if it is all right to put titles at the beginning of each paragraph

Then you will have to be clearer that it is a vision and not reality. That is the part that confused me since it sounds like it has happened already.

Ok will do it is getting late for me and my son gets up early thanks bunches for your help goodnight and take care hope to talk to you soon

Sleep well - see you on Sunday!

This is my vision for the future it is five years from now and I am looking back on my journey. Maybe this is how I should start my next paragraph so it flows better

Quote:

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Originally Posted by nitelight198073

This is my vision for the future it is five years from now and I am looking back on my journey. maybe this is how i should start my next paragraph so it flows better

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Yes, you need a "bridge" like that between the first section and the vision section so your readers don't get confused.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Yes, you need a "bridge" like that between the first section and the vision section so your readers don't get confused.

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All right yay I got it :p

How about this --

This is my vision for the future: It is five years from now, and first I do a quick review of my journey. The Internet made it possible to learn about colleges without visiting them in person. After reading about CTU, I decided it was the best choice for me. It is highly accredited, and the admissions advisors are very helpful. I could stay home while doing online coursework and look after my small son, meanwhile getting a great education with CTU.

The past five years have been a rollercoaster ride, but I would not change a thing. All my trials and tribulations have brought me to where I am today and the person I have become. I passed all my classes and earned an online degree which first got me an online job. My life is wonderful and extremely fulfilling. I now have a rewarding job at a local doctor's office. I am working toward a Bachelor's in Health Care Management and getting great grades. My husband and I own our own home now and have our privacy back. We are so happy to finally have financial freedom! I am so proud of myself and so are my friends and family. I would not have had it any other way.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

How about this --

This is my vision for the future: It is five years from now, and first I do a quick review of my journey. The Internet made it possible to learn about colleges without visiting them in person. After reading about CTU, I decided it was the best choice for me. It is highly accredited, and the admissions advisors are very helpful. I could stay home while doing online coursework and look after my small son, meanwhile getting a great education with CTU.

Five years have passed. I have earned an online degree. My life is wonderful and extremely fulfilling. I have a rewarding job at a local doctor’s office. I am working toward a Bachelor’s in Health Care Management and getting great grades. My husband and I own our own home now and have our privacy back. We are so happy to finally have financial freedom!

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OMG you are a wonderful writer, I boe to you I am not worthy you are great