In school everyone avoids me or blanks me... Im just really sick of it and I really want to get some friends... Please help...
|
In school everyone avoids me or blanks me... Im just really sick of it and I really want to get some friends... Please help...
Which country are you in?
How old are you?
What are you interested in? Are you in any activities? Are you outgoing or shy? Do you do anything that sets you apart in a possibly negative way?
My son had a friend in middle school who told me one time that everyone at school was a "jerk" because they didn't like him. Well, I'll tell you what I observed. This kid was not taking social cues very well, and went out of his way to be "different" to the point that it came off more like "weird". I don't think people have to change who they are to fit in generally but it depends on your priorities. If you want to fit in but do something like dress like an anime character, or carry a Sponge Bob lunchbox to high school, or otherwise do things that your peers think is weird, you may be paying a higher price than the behavior is worth.
Also consider whether they are ignoring you, or whether you are giving signals that you aren't available to be a friend.
The old advice to get involved at school is always a good thing to do. A lot of times kids are reluctant because they fear the first meeting or practice or whatever. Just pick an activity, do your best and focus on what you can offer to the group instead of worrying about what people think of you.
Confident kids don't worry what other people think of them - they are looking around to see what fun and interesting things there are to do, and they dive in and do them. They focus on doing their best, and from that, they make a good impression and make friends over time.
Im in england and I'm 13Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Please respond to what dontknow said.
Well, I like playing musical instruments (drums, trumpet and guitaur) but I am also very shy. I usually try to talk to people but I usually end up getting pushed around... Oh and I don't usually do anything that sets me apart from everyone else, unless you count makeup. I don't wear any of the stuff.Quote:
Originally Posted by dontknownuthin
You're a girl? (I never wore makeup, so that doesn't matter.)
Yer lol
I also see you just broke up with a boyfriend, often people seem to move away from old friends when they get a boyfriend and all of a sudden they feel lost for a few weeks.
Your user name isn't real clear about gender. You could be a Palomino pony too.Quote:
Originally Posted by PokeNiamh
How well do you play those instruments?
Yeah I guess so... -_-
What do you mean you get pushed around?
Quite well actually! (except for the guitar which I've just started)Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Well, people keep skitting me and "pretending" to hit me...Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Skitting? What is that?Quote:
Originally Posted by PokeNiamh
What do you do?
Skitting is when your made fun of (sorry about that its scouse because I'm from liverpool but I don't speak with an accent eheheh)
But I usually just try abd ignore it...
Make a joke of it. Somehow you have to retrain these people.Quote:
Originally Posted by PokeNiamh
Ok ill try it at school tomorrow. Thx for the help!! :-)Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Report back and we can think of more strategies.
Ok.
Well, great - you're a musician. A lot of shy people are involved in music, it's a great thing to use to find your crowd. Does your school or community have a band or orchestra you can join? I was in a band at my high school and it was terrific for meeting friends.
It's fine that you don 't wear makeup. And just a tip - lots of boys don't like makeup on girls, so if you don't like wearing it, well - don't then!
It sounds like you're just shy. A lot of people are shy and I think what helps in that situation is to find things you can do with other people where you can just join, and other people just join, and you end up together. Because there's an activity, there's not so much pressure to talk, and there's also something to talk about. As you get more comfortable, you'll find it easier to talk to them in time, so you just keep going even if it's a little awkward at first.
Another activity that's great for you to consider is theater. If your community or school does plays or musicals, that's a great way to meet people. You'd think only outgoing people would be involved in theater but actually, many shy people are drawn to acting because they can pretend to be someone else, which makes it easier for them to be loud or talkative or whatever. And if you don't like being on stage, stage crew is a blast - costumes, sets, lighting and so on are really fun and you can learn with the group how to do it.
Be patient with yourself. Many girls and boys your age are shy and self-concious and it's also just a generally tough time. When kids are little, friends are kind of determined based on who's in your classroom at school, or who lives on your street. As you get a little older, it has more to do with who has things in common with you, and making the transition from being a kid to being an older teenager is tough. It will work out and you will find your crowd. Just do what you love, and you'll attract people who will see you enjoying yourself and doing well at your interests.
Thanks for all the help! People seem to be noticing me more and actually being nice! ^_^
I did join an orchestra in school, and I have made a new friend; this really nice boy who plays clarinet. I think I may actually get some more friends if I keep trying!! Thanks again!!
How cool is that!! What do you play in the orchestra?
That's great - enjoy orchestra! And another thing - you can either wait around for other people to make you their friend, or you can be the one doing the choosing. If you are the planner of the fun stuff, everyone will want to know you. Ask other kids to join you for a movie, over to your house for dinner, or whatever kids like to do in your area. You will find that sometimes, it just takes for one person in a group to start suggesting socializing outside of the group activities, and then it spreads and other kids start planning things, too.
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:58 PM. |