I am an eighteen year old girl living in a house with both parents and an older sister. For most of my teenaged life I have struggled with accepting the real world. I don't want to spend my life working just for scraps of free time, I can't understand why people are so horrible tone another, and I find it hard to accept people without feeling spite towards them for their faults. I know these are bad things and I already feel terrible enough for them. I feel like a horrible person, but that's not what has pushed me over the edge.
My parents have always had a problem with my attitude, saying that I am disrespectful and rude to them. To be honest, I don't understand what they are talking about. I have not noticed myself doing this before, but I have put in numerous efforts to change. These efforts have gone ignored and they continue to scream at me for being a terrible person. I cannot even get upset anymore without them sighing in frutsration. It feels like they are the only ones that can be upset with me, and I can't be upset myself. It seems that I am constantly letting them down, but I don't understand what I am doing, and like I said, there is no way of asking them because they simply fly off the handle.
I have always thought of suicide, thinking that there was a better world after death. Now I don't even care of there is consciousness after death or not - I just want out. Recently both my parents pulled me into a room and called me a retard, an idiot, a selfish *****... It went on, and I was absolutely in shock. Since then they have been talking about getting me on pills to help me and getting me professioanl theropy. I can't show any signs of any feeling other than happiness or they scream at me again for being miserable.
I have given up. What point is there of trying when I don't even know what they want me to be or do? I am completely lost. On more than one occasion I have planned to run away, but I am too scared because it is still my home. I have cut myself constantly to the point of bleeding (not the little kitten scratches) and I have spoken to a psychiatrist, but she doesn't even know what I can do. She is at a loss as well.
Please, I want to die because I don't feel loved or appreciated. I am confused and I constantly hurt inside. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to eat. I don't want to breathe.
If there is anything anyone can recommend, please help me.

hi
every child is the most precious thing in the life of there parents,I can understand what u are going through but I think they are concerned for u that's why they want you to be normal and happy

what u need to do is,just relax when u feel angry and always maintainur calm,think before u speak and do any thing.

for a fact I am an INDIAN and we value our family and cultures and I know what u feel when u are not loved or cared

I will advise u to make friends,enjoy and relax
enjoy in what ever u do

all the best for future
your friend

Personally, I'd say that suicide is never the right choice.

It could be that your parents actually care about you, but just don't know the right way to. I'd say you should talk to them, tell them how you feel.

Friends are there for you to lean on when you need help, as well.

Find activities that distract you, such as a sport or learning to play an instrument.

Don't give up

Life is awesome. I think everyone in life at some point has suicidal thoughts. I have had them myself. However, there are so many things to experience in life that I wouldn't dare stop my life. Whether there is an afterlife better than this one or not I would still not like to end this life because I have yet to do things that I want to do. I want to visit Europe, I want to see my little brother have a good life, I want to see my family members grow together and see what mysteries life has. No matter how bad it can be there is always something positive about life. It is small and sometimes we forget to look at things in a positive light.

Sometimes I think about if my parents would be better off if I were dead because I have made several mistakes in my life and I have not made them as proud as I should have, but so what? They still love me, even if they don't say it I know that they would cry and mourn for me if I was gone. And then what example will I have left for the rest of my family? No, I much rather leave this world with my head held high and have enjoyed it as much as possible no matter how hard it was to find just a little positivity in my life.

Why don't you set some goals in life? Such as maybe choosing a career that you might want to pursue for personal fulfillment. If you don't want to spend the rest of your life working to be able to enjoy the scraps of time you might have to have fun then pick a career in which you can have fun in or that you can get rich with quick so that you can retire at 30. You seem to want to enjoy life but not know how to... discover how, that is FUN, life has a lot to offer, if you sit down in your room, turn off the lights, and sulk around about why your life is this way, why don't you sit up, turn the lights on, and start writing a list of things you would like to accomplish in this lifetime. Start small, such as getting to school on time or maybe saying hi to a cute boy in your school or workplace, then make bigger goals such as the early retirement one. When you have somewhere to reach, your mind focuses so well that things just kind of seem to fall into place. Give it a try, it can't hurt, and it cannot put you in a more unhealthy mental state than what you are in now, so why not?

Good Luck,
Javi

In some ways life can be empty, we all feel like throwing the towel in I know I did and then my son was born life became real to me not just a game that I couldn't be botherd with.We all die as sure as we were born so stick around and take the good that comes to you, life is a crazy movie and we are all cast, each day we get our moment in the spotlight for good and bad.
You don't need to throw the towel in,the towel is coming to you just see what you can achieve in that time.
Look at different religeons if you need answers just now, all will be made clear one day my friend.

I feel like killing myself everyday it feels like,I'm always messing up or judged by my actions can't make a move without beign criticise.. But when I get those momnts of weakness I stop and think in the end I'm the only one who gets a opinion in my life and nothing else matters. My suggestion to you is keep your head up people will always talk even your family but you're the only one who can make a difference in the outcome. May not make any sense because I'm going crazy myself but trust things will get better just believe in yourself. *-)