Ask Me Help Desk - When is it 'okay' to commit suicide over problems

When is it 'okay' to commit suicide over problems

I am learning disabled, unemployed and been looking for work for over a year and a half now. I do not have much work experience. Sigh. I have come to point where I am on public assistance but still unable to pay my utility bills. They are going to shut everything off the day after tomorrow. No air no phone nothing.

I know people have a lot of problems in this world, but I reach my wits end. I try to get on programs to help myself but nothing pans out, just keep getting run around. Family have give me money in the past and cannot ask them anymore. I have no friends.

I want to know when it's considered okay to commit suicide if you cannot handle your outstanding bills and have no ways to remedy them?

Everyone want to say 'oh don't do it,' but yet I have no other solutions.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

I am learning disabled, unemployed and been looking for work for over a year and a half now. I do not have much work experience. Sigh. I have come to point where I am on public assistance but still unable to pay my utility bills. they are going to shut everything off the day after tomorrow. no air no phone nothing.

i know people have a lot of problems in this world, but i reach my wits end. i try to get on programs to help myself but nothing pans out, just keep getting run around. family have give me money in the past and cannot ask them anymore. i have no friends.

i want to know when it's considered okay to commit suicide if you cannot handle your outstanding bills and have no ways to remedy them?

everyone want to say 'oh don't do it,' but yet i have no other solutions.

PLEAAAAASSSSSEEEEEE DO NOT DO IT!! You would hurt your family and you would hurt me. :( would it be possible to move in with one of your family members? At least you would have a place to live and food to eat, and while you are there you could look up jobs and stuff to get back on your feet :) stay strong

No I cannot live with them, there's not many of them in the first place but made it clear I cannot stay with them in the past. :(

Also like I said every one say 'don't do it' but I don't care anymores. I have NO other solution for these issue. I really don't care about 'hurting' other people how is that going to help me? It's not. So who cares what they think they are not the ones in my situation. Ty.

Would you do me a favor and wait?

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

no i cannot live with them, there's not many of them in the first place but made it clear i cannot stay with them in the past. :(

also like i said every one say 'don't do it' but i don't care anymores. i have NO other solution for these issue. i really don't care about 'hurting' other people how is that going to help me? it's not. so who cares what they think they are not the ones in my situation. ty.

Your right, not hurting people isn't going to help you but I wanted you to know that you mean something to someone. :) would it be possible to go to a homeless shelter? :/

I have got money from an agency to fix this problem! If I had commit suicide I never would have fix it. But every time I have a problem I cannot fix my mind just goes to suicide. Do not know how to stop this. Sigh. Ty.

The issue here is, if you are on government assitance, you can get a free phone, ask your case working, You should get food stamps, medicaid and so on. So you may have to find a boarding or rooming house, even a shelter, but we all have to start over somewhere

Yes I need learn to start over but just want to give up instead

People who live through suicide attempts always are grateful because they realize their problems weren't as bad as they seemed. Pick up the phone and call a suicide hotline. The operator can connect you. I bet they can refer you to the services you need. Please live!

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

yes i need learn to start over but just want to give up instead

I don't understand how you can be suicidal here and over here (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...-686278-2.html) concerned about your sexuality and dating.

At any rate I'm sure you've heard it all. My best friend killed herself (suicide doesn't even come close to describing it - she KILLED herself) and has left scars on all of us, her friends, her family. Maybe you care about the people around you, maybe you don't.

Would her problems have resolved themselves - I'll never know. Neither will she.

And the World lost a good person who was having a bad time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I don't understand how you can be suicidal here and over here (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...-686278-2.html) concerned about your sexuality and dating.

At any rate I'm sure you've heard it all. My best friend killed herself (suicide doesn't even come close to describing it - she KILLED herself) and has left scars on all of us, her friends, her family. Maybe you care about the people around you, maybe you don't.

Would her problems have resolved themselves - I'll never know. Neither will she.

And the World lost a good person who was having a bad time.

You don't understand it but I do. You can be both suicidal and still have to live in this world with these people everyday and concern yourself with the samethings they do until you do die.

Sorry hears about your best friend. Nothing I can really say about her situation because I don't know her or her circumstance why she believe it was in her best intersest kill herself.

Are you taking any medications to deal with Asperger's?

There is no medications for a.s. I take a depression medicine and anti anxiety medicine. That's it

You may need an adjustment on your meds if you are suicidal and on depression and anti-anxiety meds.

They always adjusts them and doesn't matter never does anything anyway.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

they always adjusts them and doesnt matter never does anything anyway.

You have a negative response to every suggestion. I do agree with the other thread - you don't want help.

You just want to feel sorry for yourself.

Are you going to lose computer access when your utiities go off?

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You have a negative response to every suggestion. I do agree with the other thread - you don't want help.

You just want to feel sorry for yourself.

Are you going to lose computer access when your utiities go off?

It wasn't a 'negative' response it was the damn truth. Like I said in the other thread I don't know what your problem is and don't care. If you don't want to stay on the topics here then go to ANOTHER THREAD, instead of telling me what I "just want to do," which you have no idea what you're talking about anyway because you are not me. Has nothing to do with the other peoples posts here, instead it's just creating a useless back and forth with you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

it wasnt a 'negative' response it was the damn truth. like i said in the other thread i dont know what your problem is and don't care. if you don't want to stay on the topics here then go to ANOTHER THREAD, instead of telling me what I "just want to do," which you have no idea what you're talking about anyways b/c you are not me.

I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds here, but you came to ask for our help/advice. We are not paid to help. We tried to help you, but you don't seem to want any advice. I have worked with many people with Asperger's. With meds helping control symptoms and counseling, they have gone on to lead productive lives. If your meds aren't helping, and you truly do need help, see a new Dr.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

they always adjusts them and doesnt matter never does anything anyway.

Which meds are you taking and at what dosage?

Are you going for counseling at least once a week?

Quote:

Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds here, but you came to ask for our help/advice. We are not paid to help. We tried to help you, but you don't seem to want any advice. I have worked with many people with Asperger's. With meds helping control symptoms and counseling, they have gone on to lead productive lives. If your meds aren't helping, and you truly do need help, see a new Dr.

Like I said I didn't have a problem with your suggesting but what do you expect me to pretend like I haven't tried that a few times? That's why I told the truth and said I did already. I had a problem with that lady coming in here going off topic and insulting me, telling me what I want and think when she have no idea what's she talking about.

I know people say the aspergers people other then myself go on and lead great lives get married etc. but its always someone else story not mine no matter what I try. I think my time better invested at this point in purchasing a gun to get off this planet.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Which meds are you taking and at what dosage?

Are you going for counseling at least once a week?

Hereis the medicines I took before: pritiq, cymbalta. And now I take wellbutrin250mg. And I also takes vistaril 50mg

I go for the therapy with this woman and I don't like the cbt she is trying to do on me. It's just so stupid honestly. I am tired of trying now. Sigh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

hereis the medicines i took before: pritiq, cymbalta. and now i take wellbutrin250mg. and i also takes vistaril 50mg

i go for the therapy with this woman and i dont like the cbt she is trying to do on me. it's just so stupid honestly. i am tired of trying now. sigh.

Why don't you like the CBT?

Do you take your meds when you are supposed to and the right amount, or do you play around with taking them?

I don't like the cbt because okay it's a type of therapy that she does. In it she tells me how to changes my thoughts and keep insist that I am in control of all of them. I am tired of trying to control my thoughts. Its so stupid. She says other people can do it but I can't DO IT. It's just frustrating and I don't want to hear anymore about the cbt. But that's all she wants to talk about to me.

I used to play around with the medications but I do not do that for like a year now. Its just frustration with this world and not fitting in anywheres. And also I get tired of people "oh you feels sorry for yourself." I'm tired of it since they know it all why do I bother being in this world with them then.

How often do you meet with her? Does she come to your house?

What are you some kind of doctor wondergirl and know about this therapy and medications or something?

Now she talk for over 5 month about group therapy and how I need to TRY something and try it. Okay so I do it and once again it don't work out. Dead ends

I goes to her once a week. I go to the office where she's at and where the doctor that gives me the medicine is at. They are in a building in my town.

I have come to believe life is for some people and not others. The ones its not for should just get it over with and stop trying to be a part of it because its never going to happen.

What do you think you need help with as the #1 thing?

I am 32 wondergirls. I just wanted to be a part of the normal life. Instead of watching everyone else. That's all. I couldn't ever figure it out so now I don't want to be bothered with it anymore. Ty

Okay. Does the counselor know that? And she thinks CBT will make it happen?

Does your counselor know that she is supposed to get involved with you and stuff that she wants you to do? She can't just sit there in her cushy office and tell you how she thinks your life can get better by changing your thinking. She has to move her butt and get physically involved. If she wants you to go horseback riding, then as a CBT counselor, she has to go with you and ride a horse too. If she wants you to volunteer at a nursing home, she has to go with you and volunteer too and show you the ropes. She is your counselor and your real-time coach. I know this. I used to be a CBT counselor.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Okay. Does the counselor know that? And she thinks CBT will make it happen?

Does your counselor know that she is supposed to get involved with you and stuff that she wants you to do? She can't just sit there in her cushy office and tell you how she thinks your life can get better by changing your thinking. She has to move her butt and get physically involved. If she wants you to go horseback riding, then as a CBT counselor, she has to go with you and ride a horse too. If she wants you to volunteer at a nursing home, she has to go with you and volunteer too and show you the ropes. She is your counselor and your real-time coach. I know this. I used to be a CBT counselor.

What's a CBT counselor? I really don't know.

Cognitive-behavioral Therapy (CBT) --

cognitive = thinking
behavioral = actions

Change the way a person thinks about something so that person's actions will change.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Cognitive-behavioral Therapy (CBT) --

cognitive = thinking
behavioral = actions

Change the way a person thinks about something so that person's actions will change.

Off to read up - thanks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Okay. Does the counselor know that? And she thinks CBT will make it happen?

Does your counselor know that she is supposed to get involved with you and stuff that she wants you to do? She can't just sit there in her cushy office and tell you how she thinks your life can get better by changing your thinking. She has to move her butt and get physically involved. If she wants you to go horseback riding, then as a CBT counselor, she has to go with you and ride a horse too. If she wants you to volunteer at a nursing home, she has to go with you and volunteer too and show you the ropes. She is your counselor and your real-time coach. I know this. I used to be a CBT counselor.

She don't get out of the office and go do nothing like that with me. She cant. She have client after me I go for one hour a week. She justs is tell me to snap a rubberband when I have negative thought and replace with positive thoughts. But I can't do it. I am tired of trying to lie to myself.

It is too late for me to be a normal part of life wondergirl. Don't you see that? I am now too old and out of the game for any men to want me and also I don't have friends and don't want them. So what's the point of living.

It is your responsibility as a paying client to snap this counselor into reality. She is not doing what she should be doing. Snapping a rubber band on your wrist is pathetic and apparently doesn't help you. It's no wonder you feel hopeless!

The next time you see her, I want you to do what I advised my clients to do with me when something wasn't working for them -- raise your hand up in the air and say "Stop! This isn't working for me! This counseling isn't helping me!" When she recovers from her shock, I'm hoping she will begin to ask you honest questions and figure out a better and more effective way to do the counseling.

Let me know what happened.

I don't want to causes trouble and tell her how to do her job though. I am not trained therapist in anything.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

I don't want to causes trouble and tell her how to do her job though. i am not trained therapist in anything.

No, you are the client. Do you pay her money for therapy? You are the customer, the consumer. It is your responsibility to tell her this is not working for you. She needs to know that so she can adjust how she does counseling with you. Otherwise, you are not being fair to her.

This is not to cause trouble. It is to help your therapy.

If you don't, she is clueless and you are angry and hopeless. Nothing positive gets done.

No I do not pay money I am on assistance until I can find someone hire me. She's a nice lady and everything.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

no i do not pay money i am on assistance until i can find someone hire me. shes a nice lady and everything.

But you are not a happy client who is improving.

Well wondergirl that's why I think I should just quit the therapy. It doesn't seem working for me I been in it for 2 and a half years now. Everybody else I knows my age is married have kids or live in partners or whatever and good jobs. I did what I could to try and make it happen for myself but it doesn't work out ever. I don't believe there's much hope for myself anymore. Its simply too late to try and fix anything now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

well wondergirl thats why i think i should just quit the therapy. it doesnt seem working for me

Therapy isn't working for you because you and the therapist are working against each other. Does she know you are not happy with the therapy? She needs to know that.

And don't you dare quit! You are still very young with plenty of time ahead of you to make this work better.