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How do u know when it's time to quit therapy or give up on it?
The Therapist will tell you to stick with it, of course because that's how they make their money. I don't trust them, even if they are nice, because they are NOT going to tell you that 'you suck' or 'are pathetic,' of course not.
But when do you think it is time to hang up the towel and forget the therapy and medications they keep giving?
Thank you.
Are you helping your therapist by participating in it?
Helping her by doing what? Its pointless there isn't no help for me, I don't care if it worked for 10 million people that's them not me. Every weeks she trying to tell me the same thing: to changes and controls my thoughts I get tired of her telling me do things I has trieD AND can't do. I feels its time to throw in the towel and drop the therapy and meds. Its not worth it anymore
Does she know about the Asperger's?Quote:
Originally Posted by HotHoneyVintage
It don't matter if she know because they taking it out of the dsm next time it come out! I read thatonline :( what a shame aspergers' is not even going to exists anymore. Sigh. Now what are we all going to do? What about your sons and w/e? Anyway my therapist say I don't have it. She just laughed it off. And she say even if I DID have it we would still be working on the same problems I have so it don't make a difference.
It does matter and it does make a difference, if you are not open and honest with the doctor in counseling, they do not have the correct information to try to help you.
If you go in, with the opinion it is not going to help, never will and there is no need to try, not sure what you do for the time together, just sit and look at each other ?
And they are normally glad to see you get better, have less visits and to maybe get where they seldom see you. That is their job. Just as a medical doctor cures you, and then have other patients, they don't just keep treating you, so you don't get better.
How about printing out all of your posts here and giving it to them,
I would never print out my posts and gives to her. I can't even let her reads my journal writing and she said that is OK. I like the lady but I am not going to tell her EVERYTHING because I cant. I guess I'm suppose to tells her I have a online porns problem and masturbation -- yea right. Good for other people if they can goes to the therapy and say that type of stuff but I can't. She do know I have asperger she say I don't have it though... I don't even goes to the gynecologist because I don't like that, it's gross and weird I don't care if it's 'manaatory' for women's health can't bring myself to do it.
No I do not just sits there staring at her. We talk about stuff just not every single thing I think.
You need a different therapist, methinks -- one who will push you past your comfort zone. Wish I lived closer...
How long have you been attending therapy and what type of medication is being prescribed?Quote:
Originally Posted by HotHoneyVintage
Do you think the therapy sessions have helped at all? How about the medication?
It sounds as though you have already given up on therapy, or maybe just having a bad day.
I been therapy for over 2 years now. This lady about 8 months. She nice and all at least someone talk to beside online here. Don't talk to no one else about my problems in life. Well I get a medication called cymbalta. Its working I guess. I don't know, no point in wasting the lady time if I can't do none of the things she is telling me right. Well she said several time its not wasting anyone time but 1. she getting paid to be there and 2. if I was wasting her time she not going to actually tell me that. So I try to determine for myself if I should quits her.
I will disagree, while I don't know this lady, all of the counselors I know if they know they are not helping they will try and find you someone else who may help.
No counselor is going to help you unless you are going to be completely open and honest with them.
In my marriage counseling that is the number one requirement, we give a few meetings for the BS and lies, but if they will not be honest, I don't waste my time on them, and would rather help those who want help.
So do most of the marriage counselors I deal with.
A off side note, a marriage counselor does not try to get them back together, they merely try to find the truth, see what each wants and go from there. Often finding a way they can break up nicely is what we find is the best route.
So you are wrong about most counselors, again don't know this one, to most, their patients welfare is what is most important.
HHV, by not being honest with your counselor, you are hurting her and most of you, you are hurting yourself.
Asperger's isn't being removed from DSM V it is being reclassified as part of a spectrum disorder. The same is being considered for many other disorders. It's a trend in psychiatry. So don't worry about the disorder being thrown out. That isn't the case. The symptom profile will be incorporated in totality, in fact, practitioners will still call it Asperger's for years, but simply use a different classification code for diagnosis and billing. That's if the change is accepted by the DSM committee. Not final yet.Quote:
Originally Posted by ;
So you've been in therapy about 2 years. I read elsewhere that you don't like CBT and it seems you don't have a particular fondness for or confidence in your therapist. Is there anything that would prevent you from getting another therapist. One that uses another method?
Also, I would like to hear a little more about why you believe that Aspergers is a factor. Were you previously diagnosed? Seems you read a bit on this, being familiar with DSM. Your opinion is very important in the treatment process and should always weigh heavily in treatment plans.
One further question. (hope you don't mind so many). Is your therapist the one that prescribes the Cymbalta or do you have to see someone else for medication. Just trying to get a feel for who is controlling the course of your treatment.
Dr. Bill OK ty for explaining what they going to do about the dsm. I looked into it online and read what people say how its not a rreal disorder like autism and how they are going to dump it in the next version but I guess that's not true. Anyway, no that's not true I really like the therapist she's a really nice lady. She's not all condescending and haughty like most other women. I just get tired of hersaying everything about me is OK and that's all right etc. every time I do something. She says: we all make mistakes. I get tired hearing this and that my thoughts are distortions.
Even though w.g. says its not cbt it is. Cbt where you try and get the patient to changes their thoughts about life and think positive instead negative. It is about controlling your thought. I think it's B.S. and have never worked for me. My insurance won't pay for therapist in another location (others are too far away). But there's others in this building but I cannot leave one I have. 1. I sees her too much and it would be embarrassed to dump her and go for another person 2. she already is my 3rd one in this building and 3.I'm not the type of person just to tell her I'm leaving and go to someone else. Even if you LOL at all my reasons I don't care that's how I feel about it.
A different doctor online diagnoses me with asperger. Then I went to the doctor in my therapy office and he said yes I may have that but he cannot give me that diagnosis.
My therapist don't subscribe the cymbalta a male doctors in the building does that because she is not a doctor. I tries several time to get him to give me prozac but he say he won't give out that type to me because I had problem in the past abusing the pills doctors gave me (thats another story). OK ty bill.
I still say it's not CBT. The C = cognitive (thoughts), and the B = behavioral (actions). What is being done to change how you behave, how you act?Quote:
Originally Posted by HotHoneyVintage
I have taught my clients how to put a different spin on how they think. That leads into how they then behave, how they act, what they do. I haven't heard how you have tried to change your behavior. Is it because you refuse to change how you think about things?
w.g. I'm just going off what she tell in the meetings. And she said my thoughts control behaviors and I need change my thoughts but I can't do it :( I am not going to bother anymore mostly I goes to the therapy now to get out of the house sometime and to talk to the lady. We just go in circles and one day she probably going to drop me from her schedule.
I still think you should follow up with the woman you got from Jeanette. She'll go to your house and meet with you, right?
I don't think that lady come to your house, she just telling me she have an office I could probably go to. I have not contact her since though... thelady from easter seal is the one that come to your house but I never follow up with themoh well.
Hmmm, Jeanette told me she goes to people's homes too. I don't know exactly where you live, so you might be too far away from her.
I want the Easter Seal lady to come to your house. Will you do that for me?
Why you wants jeanette to come to my home? U want her to try and get me into a 'nut house?' or public mental facility :( I am not going to live in that type of place. I like living by myself. I can do it even my therapist say I can live on my own I have to stop being so afraid of the outside worlds
What? Jeanette or the Easter Seals lady does NOT remove people from their homes! She will help you figure out ways to deal with the outside world. If I lived close by to you, we would go to Shoprite and out to eat at restaurant somewhere.Quote:
Originally Posted by HotHoneyVintage
w.g. oh OK. Well I reads somewhere about these people come to your home and if theydecide you cannot live on your own for safety they will contact authorities andhave you remove. Sigh. Yes we can go to shoprite and to the library. What a shame too bad you lives far away.I will goes to my brother and wife house for thanksgiving tomorrow I guess. They has to take me in for the holidays b/ci don't have no where else to go and no family of my own.his wife know damn well I'm not going to ever have my own family I don't know why she keep wanting to talk about that. Igot older sister to. She live on her own someplace else. I hope you have a happy holiday.
How long have you lived there? Is that the house you grew up in?
All my life. Yes.
Tell me about the family you grew up in -- mom, dad, one brother. Anyone else?
And you have a dog? What kind?
I don't gives ALL my real information on the internets because there's crazies out there and male stalkers sometime I swtiches things around too. I have a dog is all I will say about that. Anyway I have a lots of uncles aunts and cousisn but they all have their own families. I am the only poor sap living like this beside one uncle that has gone mad. I think somebody have sexually abused me but I don't remember the details. All the signs I read online points to this anyway. There was a lot of screaming and yelling in my house and I am not a screamer at all. I don't like conflicts in the home. I use to just sit in a corner and pretend I was somewhere else. But anyway I don't like to talk about that stuff anymore. What kind of family you grew up in?
Were u alive in the 50s w.g. If so tell me about that time. What u ate, watched, wore, and listen to. What was life like then?
I was the first child of a Lutheran minister and his wife, who then had three kids after me. There was no screaming or fighting in our house. I had a great childhood, grew up in western NY in dairy farm and orchard country right near Lake Ontario.Quote:
Originally Posted by HotHoneyVintage
The idea of therapy is not for a therapist to tell you how to act or what to do. It is to get YOU to try and understand YOU and learn to live with what God gave you. You sound terribly negative about yourself and it is carrying over to your therapist. Being negative is NOT ATTRACTIVE. Get a smile on your face once in a while and learn to enjoy something, sometime.
Little pointer,, why the esses after certain words like "quits her" and "let her reads" my journal?.
I sense a little issue with self importance and lack of concern for the way you want people to see you. Do you speak that way? Poor communication skills can cause people to pay less attention to you and actually look 'down" at you. Hey only being truthful.
While you did not ask, my life in the 50's, I was given up for adoption since as soon as I was born my father who was in the service left my mother who was a teen at the time.
I lived the first few years of my life in a orphanage. No toys of my own, no individual care,
Adopted into a house with no real love, love was shown by buying you something. Life was controlled, you could not play in the yard since you would be dirty, if you did go out, you could not get clothes messed up.
Could never have any friends over for playing.
Yup, I was! There were only a few cereal brands at the grocery store -- Cream of Wheat, Quaker Oats, Raisin Bran, Grape Nuts Flakes, Wheaties, Cheerios, and one or two more. Moms stayed home, and dads worked all day. Stores closed around 6 p.m. and all stores were closed on Sunday. Women wore dresses, and most men wore suits, even to grocery shop and go to the movies. TV would end after the evening news, and then there was a test pattern (colored lines) on the screen until morning. There was no TV during the night and only a few channels. There was no remote. You had to get up out of your chair, walk over to the TV set, and turn a knob to change channels.Quote:
Originally Posted by HotHoneyVintage
Next time you go to the library, ask someone to help you find a decade book. There are sets of them in the 900s, with each book covering a decade, like 1940-1950, 1950-1960. There are lots of photos and drawings too.
Handyman the fact that you say ' a little issue with self importance' demonstrate you really know nothing about me. So I take whatever u have to say with a grain of salt thereafter.
Chuck I didn't grows up in a orphanage and that is really sad since you did.but I know what it is like having people buy things and that's suppose to be love I guess. I don't really want to talk about that. But anyway they have places like that in the 50s I seen on TV like boys homes or w/e or group homes for kids with no where to go.
W.g. thank you for the book idea I will check it out. That is so funny how there's no TV on at night and only a few channels, LOL. But I guess that was all you had back then. Did you have a radio and listen to 'shows' on that too? One time I watched a 50s movie and there was a dance place with people sipping milkshakes at the counter in a diner. It was so neat, I wish I could have lived back then.
Yup. Before we got a TV, we listened to the radio. I listened to a kids' show called "Big John and Sparky." The theme song was "The Teddy Bear's Picnic" which I remember and can still sing after sixty years. There was also a circus show I liked and, of course, the Superman show. My parents listened to Jack Benny, Victor Borge, Jimmy Durante, Bob Hope, Groucho Marx, Red Skelton, Abbott and Costello, Amos 'n' Andy, Burns and Allen, Our Miss Brooks, and classical music shows.Quote:
Originally Posted by HotHoneyVintage
I laugh when I remember TV commercials back in the '50s. For instance, a pretty lady would stand next to a white refrigerator, open the door and talk about all the space inside, would open the vegetable drawers, would mention how cold it was inside and how much food you could store in it. There was no music or song or flashy stuff. Just the lady and the refrigerator. That was the whole commercial. Most commercials were like that.
Yup. I was too young to dance but would sit at the counter or in a booth with some friends. You could put a quarter into a jukebox and play a pop song you liked. Teenagers might dance to the music.Quote:
a dance place with people sipping milkshakes at the counter in a diner.
The big fashion was a poodle skirt -- a full skirt that had a poodle on it. Around your neck you would wear a matching scarf. Here's a picture:
Poodle Skirt
In school we had air raid drills where a siren-horn thing would go off and we'd have to crawl under our desks and put our arms over our heads in case our school would be bombed ("duck and cover"). The siren-horn thing was very loud and scary.
Air Raid Drill
Hey that is pretty neat w.g. they should not have got rid of milkshake counter because that sounds like fun. Everything todoay mostly sucks its not like that anymore. Too bad because it sound like it was fun to live back then. I have a mini juke box but it doesn't play a lot of songs. The best one on there is "in the still of the night" imo. Do you know that song?
Yes, that song is an "oldie but goodie." Do you know what doo-wop music is?
:) yes I know what it is I like that style of music. Too bad the peoples today do not want to live like the 50s. Things would be so much easier to understand. Sigh. Everything is too fast today
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