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-   -   Ganna kill myself even though I'm kind of already dead... (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=482331)

  • Jun 23, 2010, 02:36 PM
    justwaitingforthe
    ganna kill myself even though I'm kind of already dead...
    Hi and congrads you thought this was a question but uhhhhh its not... but don't leave ill try to not make this long..
    so I'm 16 year old girl,live in New York and have a so called "good" family
    Now you still probably don't know what I'm talking about still unless you know I'm going to kill myself because u know life sucks.. you maybe like grr here's just a kid that wanst attention posting a lame thing on here for giggles (wow I can't believe I just typed giggles, but anyway I'm really going to die I hope tonight.. idk I keep planning but never get to it... funny how life just deosnt mean and I'm basically planning out when I have the time today.. So I plan on taking a lot of tynol (forgive me on my spelling) or asprin some website said asprin is good.. hahahahha pro suicide website, and yes I've taken pills before I'm so what they call a "pill popper" wutever that means.. hopefully I don't wake up but my luck I will so ill just have to try something else I guess cause life is like no option.

    here's my reasons before u exit out and go ask some random question about how john can't open his bottle of wine and needs help.. aka people its an esample so don't be looking for that question :... oh and if u have read the book 13 reasons by I don't know authors don't matter lol... I want to do something like that and leave this sucky place in style but I have no recorder :/... sooo ill do a thing here lol

    ReasonS: #1-i was molested when I was a kid and no one cared.. and don't be like people do care! Cause u know what.. my parents didn't press charges..
    #2- PARENTS... do I even have to explain?
    #3- I swear like I have a curse on me cause I loose like my best friend every year... it sucks makes me feel like and yeaaa I don't want to waste my time anymore
    #4-iv been taking pills for about two years and before u say wow that's not that bad.. but like I know my oorgans are mest up like I've taken 25 benadryls like mutiple times at once... so I'm basically ed
    #5-God.. now if yr religious then u are ganna get pissed at me but I'm an atheist because in relaity life sucks people are getting rapped,abused,murdered,stabbed,shot,getting cancer, spreading HIV... if god was trully alive why would he make such horiable things happen.. I just don't get it... god gives people hope and I kind of think of it as kind of a law.. laws are to inforce people from not acting out so peace will happen (haha peace... ). God gives people a standerd that if they do something bad then god won't like them or something.. it becomes like this huge thing like kind of run as the government... (haha people the government is actually god.. jk) but like we need hope so we never give up so we believe in god because he's supposed to be this huge amazing thing

    Now I know yr ganna be like wow.. dumb excuses but really its not.. I feel like I can't trust anyone and I cut to make me feel like something and then I get more sad because I can't find a place to do it... scars heel slowly and so does emotional pain and when you just relize that you have to wait for yourself to recover, I just feel like tehres no reason to be alive...
    OHHHH and if u reply which like no will prob because allways its like 7382387 views and 2 replys... people are lazy.. don't be like "you dont make sence" but then again I don't really care.. its my thoughts and feelings and if you think this is bull.. then stop reading..

    Ok wow this is long I'm ganna stop now... thanks for reading and even though I don't know a ny of you make good choices because there are many kids like me.. who are just wating for the chance to pull the plug.. and u could make a difference in there life bad or good..
    -almost dead girl walking
  • Jun 23, 2010, 02:43 PM
    Kitkat22

    Listen to me. Life does suck sometimes. You are young and you have a chance to turn yours around. Do you realize there are no do overs with suicide. It's final.

    We've all been in pain and our lives have been shattered for some reason or the other. It's easy to take your life. The thing that is really hard is having enough courage to stay here and find a way to get past the pain.

    We'll listen and try to help... You have friends here.
  • Jun 23, 2010, 02:50 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by justwaitingforthe View Post
    u could make a differance in there life bad or good.

    So how can we make a good difference in your life?
  • Jun 23, 2010, 03:58 PM
    Kitkat22

    I do hope you come back and talk to us. Please.
  • Jun 23, 2010, 05:18 PM
    Kitkat22

    I'm waiting to help you . Let me try.
  • Jun 23, 2010, 05:35 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1
    Comment on Kitkat22's post
    This is my post I forgot my password.. and thanks that you want to help.. but you cant, but thanks for caring
  • Jun 23, 2010, 05:41 PM
    Kitkat22

    I do care and so do many others.
    Ask the mod to find your password. They will help you.
  • Jun 23, 2010, 05:44 PM
    aimee_tt

    I know you have had a tough life, I know your family did wrong by not protecting you but that's not a reason to give up your life! Why not dedicate your life to saving others from going through what your going through. There have been many people like yourself who have malested and rapped and have cut themselves then have gotten to the point your at and have turned their life around completely! You can do it! You just need help and guidance and were here to help you!
  • Jun 23, 2010, 05:47 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1
    Comment on Kitkat22's post
    cant cause I used a random email.. and it would be sent to that person
  • Jun 23, 2010, 05:50 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1
    OK thanks! I keep saying I'm ganna do it but then my parents came home.. they can't be here..
  • Jun 23, 2010, 05:53 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by aimee_tt View Post
    I know you have had a tough life, I know your family did wrong by not protecting you but thats not a reason to give up your life! Why not dedicate your life to saving others from going through what your going through. There have been many people like your self who have malested and rapped and have cut them selves then have gotten to the point your at and have turned their life around completely! You can do it! You just need help and guidance and were here to help you!

    Aimee is right. Just think of all the people ,young people like yourself who have over come such a horrible life as yours has been. There is someone out there who needs you and who needs to hear your story.

    You are here for a reason... remember that! I know you stopped believing in God... but believe this... he loves you. That's hard to comprehend when all these terrible things happen to you. You can make a difference in someone's life by staying on this earth and saying... "I AM WORTH SOMETHING".
  • Jun 23, 2010, 05:58 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1
    Comment on Kitkat22's post
    Lol OK I'm 16 people don't listen to me sooo I don't think I would help.. but it's a good point... grrrr yr kind of talking me out of it or I'm just uncapable
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:05 PM
    Kitkat22

    Just promise you won't do anything .
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:08 PM
    Wondergirl

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Justwaitingforthe1
    lol ok im 16 people dont listen to me sooo i dont think i would help..but its a good point...grrrr yr kinda talking me out of it or im just uncapable

    Actually, you could start making a difference right here. Lots of young people come to this site to vent about adults not respecting them or wondering if they're pregnant or asking what to do about abuse. You're their age and have walked the walk. Could you give them good advice?
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:09 PM
    aimee_tt

    Your listening to us because you don't really want to give up. There is a fighter in you! Stay with us. I don't know you but you have already affected me with your story. I would be sad to hear if you had passed. You think people don't care but there are two complete strangers here who care about you and don't want you to go through with it.

    Think about it if two strangers care how many people around you care and just don't know how to show it.
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:11 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1
    Comment on Kitkat22's post
    :/ I don't know... maybe I don't want to die I just want to leave here or I know I need help an di just don't have the guts to tell anyone.. I like need like an intervention lol I don't know... I know I shouldn't be lauging but I don't know its not like a big deal to me anymore.. like o
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:11 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by aimee_tt View Post
    Your listening to us because you dont really want to give up. There is a fighter in you! Stay with us. I dont know you but you have already affected me with your story. I would be sad to hear if you had passed. You think people dont care but there are two complete strangers here who care about you and dont want you to go through with it.

    Think about it if two strangers care how many people around you care and just dont know how to show it.

    Give us a try!
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:12 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by aimee_tt View Post
    there are two complete strangers here who care about you and dont want you to go through with it.

    Three.
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:14 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1
    I don't know and it just cut of what I typed sooo forget that..
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:16 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1
    People wouldn't know if I had died. This sucks
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:18 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Justwaitingforthe1 View Post
    people wouldnt kno if i had died. this sucks

    You don't want a challenge. Wimping out is better. Right?
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:20 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    There is places for professional help in the Rochester area. And you will find lots of people who want to help

    Teen Suicide & Child Suicide help

    Teen Suicide - Help for Troubled Teens

    They have phone numbers for help groups, and one / one talking.
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:22 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    You don't want a challenge. Wimping out is better. Right?




    You are as strong as you want to be. Which one are you going be? Come back and talk to us.
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:22 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    I'm not wimping out, its not even a challenge its just dumb I just don't want to deal with any more stuff cause it makes me more sad
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:27 PM
    aimee_tt

    Killing yourself is not the answer. You need to be strong and push through life!

    If you won't do it when your parents are there then you know they love you and wouldn't want you to do this! Talk to your parents tell them you need help!
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:34 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1
    Comment on aimee_tt's post
    No I just know my parents would call 911 and wouldn't want that..
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:35 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1
    Comment on Fr_Chuck's post
    I never said I live rochester
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:37 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by aimee_tt View Post
    Killing youself is not the answer. You need to be strong and push through life!

    If you wont do it when your parents are there then you know they love you and wouldnt want you to do this! Talk to your parents tell them you need help!

    Have you taken any meds tonight?
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:41 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1
    Comment on Kitkat22's post
    Nopes
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:49 PM
    aimee_tt

    Why not go to the school counselor? Or even to a teacher that your close to. They can get you help!
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:50 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1

    School is over and I have a theripst but I stopped going
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:54 PM
    aimee_tt

    Why did you stop?
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:57 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1

    Because everyone thought I was good and that I was going to get perscribed medacation but my mom still hast gotten it cause she doesn't trust me... and my theripst said come back when yr on medication sooo I just haven't gone back
  • Jun 23, 2010, 06:58 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Justwaitingforthe1 View Post
    school is over and i have a theripst but i stoped going

    Tell your folks how you're feeling. Can you even imagine how hard it would be for them to cope if you commit suicide? It's the ones who are left behind who have to go through the "what ifs or "it's my fault". Having to go through your birthday and Christmas and other special occasions with an empty chair sitting at the table. Empty because you chose to take your life.

    Nothing but emptiness.. no you anymore. It's forever.
  • Jun 23, 2010, 07:00 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Call your therapist, and in some school districts, there are staff at school all year. And there are local lines in your area for help, use them.
  • Jun 23, 2010, 07:03 PM
    aimee_tt

    Talk to your parents if they don't trust you taking tablets then they can watch you take them. They can put a lock on the medicine cabinet and only let you take what they give you.

    Then get back to therapy.. Tell your parents that they have to do this as your thinking of suicide and you need help.
  • Jun 23, 2010, 07:09 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    Tell your folks how you're feeling. Can you even imagine how hard it would be for them to cope if you commit suicide? It's the ones who are left behind who have to go through the "what ifs or "it's my fault". Having to go through your birthday and Christmas and other special occasions with an empty chair sitting at the table. Empty because you chose to take your life.

    Nothing but emptiness..no you anymore. It's forever.

    Yeaaa I know.. sometimes I feel like its pay back though for like all the things they have done but that's just kind of wrong
  • Jun 23, 2010, 07:18 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Justwaitingforthe1 View Post
    Yeaaa i kno..sometimes i feel like its pay back tho for like all the things they have done but thats just kinda wrong

    Payback for what? Listen there is not one person in this world who is perfect. We all make mistakes, a lot of them. The thing is we get second and third chances. Learn from your mistakes as I have learned from mine and move on.

    You have to see there are beautiful things in this world and yes there are ugly things. Think of that and tell your mom and dad please.
  • Jun 23, 2010, 07:29 PM
    Justwaitingforthe1

    Payback because they tottaly like forgot that I was abused and just like covered it up and then one day started to be friends with his family again and all of asudden there in my life and I don't want that.. and I think they know its akward for me but they just do nothing
    AND... I know there are beautiful things but like all I see is badness
  • Jun 23, 2010, 07:33 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Justwaitingforthe1 View Post
    payback because they tottaly like forgot that i was abused and just like covered it up and then one day started to be freinds with his family again and all of asudden there in my life and i dont want that..and i think they kno its akward for me but they just do nothing
    AND...i kno there are beautiful things but like all i see is badness




    They know and they still go around your abuser? You need to tell the police... he could be doing some other young person the same way. Don't be scared to confront him. Go to Child services and tell them what he did.

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