I can't accept it. I don't like it. I live in a country in which having small breasts is considered unattractive, and where larger breasts are considered superior by both men and women.

I just don't like it. I am what is commonly called a pear shape. Which is not what men find attractive. I know worth doesn't come from looks - but I just feel really bad that guys don't even look at me and they look at other girls who're better proportioned but who sometimes have uglier faces or are fatter.

I'm 5'5" and 129 lbs. I wear a B cup bra. Which is considered small. My hips are very large. My boyfriend also likes big breasts, I'd say his favore size is about a D or DD. Like most guys.

I don't think I'd ever get surgery, because of the risks and because in my country it's expensive and I live in a small town with no plastic surgeons.

I don't know how to stop these awful feelings. Every time my boyfriend sees a woman with big breasts, I get this really awful jealousy. Most of the time I say nothing, but sometimes I can't take it. He tells me that it doesn't matter that they're hotter. So what if they're hotter? Well, to me it feels a bit like rejection, like he rejects my small breasts. He doesn't even pay attention to them unless I tell him to.

He says they're not his favorite size, but that he accepts them. I don't want him to "accept" them. I want him to desire them. I had never felt so insecure. And yesterday I picked a fight over this again, and today he told me that this is the last time, if I continue with my sickening insecurity, he's going to break up with me. He says he can't take it anymore. But he doesn't even understand just how painful it is. I've been bullied about this. I've told him how sensitive I am about the issue. He doesn't care, he says it's a non-issue, but it's important to me! He just disregards my feelings about it, says it's a vain subject and that I shouldn't even think about it. I feel terrible.

To make matters worse, it's summer over here and that means girls are starting to wear more revealing outfits and that we're starting to go to the beach.

Boyfriend is a jerk personally, and you need to find someone that will love you for you, not "settle" for you.

Next sorry but you are way over stating, people all like different things, some people like large breasts, some like small, some like skinny some like fat. There are men who would not want to be with a girl under 220 or more.

The issue is how you feel about yourself, in that if you can't find it yourself, you should seek professional help

Hello Body,

All I can say, is that I too am a B cup, and never before has a man EVER had complaints about my breasts! Don't have anything done to yourself. Stay the way you are!

Fr_Chuck couldn't have said it better... Your boyfriend is a jerk!

Where can I get self esteem from? I mean, how? I just try so hard to like myself, but whenever I see a "perfect" looking girl, or an actress he thinks is hot, I just can't help but feel crappy and start wondering "What does she have that I don't?".

Now he also said he's not sure about continuing our relationship, says he's tired of all my drama.

Hello again Body,

When I was between the ages of 15 to about 25, I DID NOT like my body at all. I also had a low self esteem. For me, it took time for me to like myself. Like said in my previous post, I am a B cup. So when I was younger, I thought that that was the end of the world. However, like I also said before, the men that I shared myself with have never had any complaints. In fact, they thought I had a sexy body... I am not sure how old you are, I'm guessing early to mid 20's. In time you will grow to love yourself for who you are. I am now 32 years old, and very comfortable with myself. Stop worring about every other female, for that will drive you crazy!

Now, as for that guy you are with,I strongly recommend that you figure out if that's the kind of man you want to be with... If he loves you, he should make you feel special in every way, and love you for who and what you are.

Well first being with someone who puts you down is part of the trouble,

Any person who really cared for you would not be saying things negative about your body.
So serioiuslly staying with someone who is putting you down can be a serious mistake.

Hello
Well he's not helping with your self-esteem for a start and if he can't except you for who you are then you should get him packing. But if your feeling a bit naughty and what to make him feel what your feeling drop hims that he was a small willy (-: maybe then he will get what he's doing to you. Everyone sees beauty differently and what you see a lot of is fake what you see in mags the images are computer enhance they are not real too its all false, these woman are not perfact that's why they felt the need for surgery and went and got it but the daft thing is they will never feel perfect they keep going back for more. And I think its good you've thought about the risks in surgery and your right its not really worth the risk.

I'm not happy with my breasts too I get depressed sometimes I am a 32B and most of my friends are c up but they are natural not implants. And to be honest mine are more firm and in ways more attracive and pleasing to the eyes seeing as mine don't droop and it helps that my other half says he likes them the way they are mind you he could just be saying that to prevent a £4000 dent in his wallet lol.

And any way breasts are there for one reason and one special reason and that's to feed our babies and NOT to aesthetically please men or partners! Although I admit it helps but if he can't except you then ditch him its not love and be proud of what you got there are woman out there that have no breasts at all at least you have a pair! Be grateful for what you have life is too short. I tell you what does help is a good padded shape lifting bra can make all the differents if you want to wear revealing outfits there's no reason why you shouldn't and take comfort knowing you have no scares on yours they do. (-:

*Well he's not helping with your self-esteem for a start and if he can't except you for who you are then you should get him packing. But if your feeling a bit naughty and want to make him feel what your feeling drop hints that he has a small willy (-: maybe then he will get what he's doing to you.*

BodyOb, the first thing you do is trade that monkey in for a man. He actually says "so what if she's hotter"? And for him to KNOW that you are sensitive about your breast size, and not help you with it, and not give them attention, is very non-supportive for someone you are "in love" with.

I must ask how old you are please?

There is an old saying, " I complained about my lack of shoes, until I met a man who had no feet".

You should maybe volunteer with women who have had breast cancer, or who are disabled.

Don't be obsessed by what you DON'T have, be grateful for what it is that you DO have.

True beauty is on the inside.

You should understand that, before you seek surgeons.

God bless you.

Yes... I really think that regardless of who I'm with I need the maturity to understand that there are stunning people and those who are average. I'm average, and I have a hard time accepting that I'll never be stunning, probably 'cause I'm still young (I'm 21). I know there are a lot more average people than stunning ones, but I just see most of my classmates at uni are really way prettier and I wish I looked like that to know how it feels. I know I have great stuff going on for me, like I'm smart, I'm creative, etc. but those things are underappreciated.

I just want to stop caring about who has better breasts than mine, I want to stop being this jealous and envious person. I want to be able to accept and be happy with the fact that I'm never going to be stunningly hot and beautiful.

Hello again BodyObsessed,

What one person may think is beautiful, another person may not... Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What I am trying to say, in other words, is that YOU may consider to be average, others may not... Others may find you to be desirable. Also, these "stunning ones" that you speak of may feel the same way about you.. You are still young and coming into your own.

The bottom line is that you are who you are. Try not to care or envy others.

I don't know if its really fair to blame the boyfriend here. How do you tell someone that they don't have a problem with the size of your boobs, and anything and everything you say doesn't stop the insecurity. What if what he's saying is true, and he doesn't have a problem.

If even watching a movie with women who have 'perfect' figures bothers you, and you can't let go of falling into that spiral of self depreciation, and jealousy toward your boyfriend.

He sees a DD as you said, and it is threatening to you on a very personal level. That is a problem with self-esteem that you are stuck on, and it is self destructive.

You are who you are. What your body is, is what you get. Through genetics mostly, it is not something you can change, and why would you want to.

You are 5'5 and 120 lbs, in a B cup. That sounds just about right to me. You don't have abnormally small breasts, and they aren't over the top big, which they would be in a DD for your size.

I hope that you get yourself into counselling to address why you continue to find fault with yourself. I personally don't think it has anything to do with your breast size.

If this has caused such a rift between you and your boyfriend that he is about to call it quits, until you resolve this, he is likely only one of many potential men in your life that you will wear out too.

Put the focus back where it belongs, and find out what drives you to define yourself by what you see as 'faults'.

An old saying beauty is only skin deep, your probably more beautiful then all the girls in your class inside and out you just don't see it no one does (but vain people)think their all that and can be pretty nasty and selfish at that.

Another saying:
The bigger the boobs the more you step on them. (but that one must have come from an old woman lol)

Life is to short. I'm coming up 24 and that's nearly half way to 50! And it's the last year that its hit me how short life is,and its just too short there are more important things to worry about like living for a start!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

I don't know if its really fair to blame the boyfriend here. How do you tell someone that they don't have a problem with the size of your boobs, and anything and everything you say doesn't stop the insecurity. What if what he's saying is true, and he doesn't have a problem.

If even watching a movie with women who have 'perfect' figures bothers you, and you can't let go of falling into that spiral of self depreciation, and jealousy toward your boyfriend.

He sees a DD as you said, and it is threatening to you on a very personal level. That is a problem with self-esteem that you are stuck on, and it is self destructive.

You are who you are. What your body is, is what you get. Through genetics mostly, it is not something you can change, and why would you want to.

You are 5'5 and 120 lbs, in a B cup. That sounds just about right to me. You don't have abnormally small breasts, and they aren't over the top big, which they would be in a DD for your size.

I hope that you get yourself into counselling to address why you continue to find fault with yourself. I personally don't think it has anything to do with your breast size.

If this has caused such a rift between you and your boyfriend that he is about to call it quits, until you resolve this, he is likely only one of many potential men in your life that you will wear out too.

Put the focus back where it belongs, and find out what drives you to define yourself by what you see as 'faults'.

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Lol, 120 lbs, I wish. I would have to lose a few pounds. But I get what you mean. I guess I do have awful self esteem, which comes from who knows when (probably since I was a kid, but who wants to get into the whole childhood issues thing).

I guess the way I view myself, as an attractive or potentially attractive female has been highly influenced by culture and such. I know I shouldn't have let it affect me, but I'm young, and I was even younger when I started realizing things.

For instance, my fellow males. The ones my age practically grew up with porn. Since the Internet was a fact when we were 10 years old, all of them discovered it quite early. Ergo, for most of them the dream sex goddess is a Playboy playmate, as plastic as they may be. It's sort of brainwashing, just like a lot of Disney movies have brainwashed a lot of us girls into wanting a romantic, sweet and handsome prince of a boyfriend, as fake and corny as it may be.

Maybe that's it too. Maybe I expect too much out of males. I forget that they have their preferences. But just try doing a Google search. Google do men like big breasts you get like 7 million results. If you Google do men like small breasts you get like 42 million results. That means there are a lot more women concerned about having small breasts than big, and there's little wonder why. Also, because there are many pills (scams) claiming to enlarge breasts, and many women undergo breast enlargement surgery. Of course not as many get reductions because not all of them are candidates, but reducing the size of breasts is not considered such a comestic boost.

Plus, even in the media you see such strong messages, for instance in that stupid show, Two and a Half men, there's this episode in which a man does whatever it takes trying to talk his fiancée out of getting breast reduction (even though she was in pain). In Desperate Housewives (which is a show for women) there was a man who thought another woman had got implants, and he could not stop staring, and told that woman to convince her wife to be such a "good" wife as herself, and follow her example of getting implants. That woman's husband also implied that having small breasts is a flaw.

I know, again, that I shouldn't let the media influence me. But it's there, and it's hard to ignore. Plus today my boyfriend asked me whether my breasts are getting smaller (since I've been losing weight). I casually told him that implants cost around $5000 and he said "Ouch, that's EXPENSIVE!", yet he didn't even say "Oh, but why would you need that?", which would have been nicer. I'm not saying he's a bad boyfriend, but it would have been nice, first of all that he didn't even mention my shrinking breasts! And I had to tell him "Oh, but there are some women who look good with small breasts" and he said "Hmm, well, yeah, I guess".

Maybe older, more mature guys who didn't grow up with the image of a porn star ingrained in their brains don't care much about breast size. But the (albeit little) experience I've had with guys my age, is that they think bigger is better, even if it's fake. Again, it's hard to ignore.

Wow, by the way, sorry for the rant, I didn't mean to sound rude or anything, plus I was talking in general... sigh, I guess I do need professional help, huh?

Hello Body,

I'm just going to name off a few women who have B cup breasts, Ashley Judd, Sandra Bullock, Charlize Theron, Natalie Portman, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Cameron Diaz, and Cindy Crawford. Now, what do all these women have in common? They are all very sexy beautiful woman... Need I say more.

I am sure your breasts are fine the way they are. As I said before in an earlier post, I also am a B cup, 34 to be exact, and I have not had any complaints. Forget about shows and television, or what people want you to be, and focus on yourself!

You sound like an intelligent young lady where I find that in time a man will value you for your mind and heart...

Body- you are so right on in your opinions and I truly respect your point of view. You are right about how women are portrayed from magazines to movies and it is true that men are influenced by that, and women too.

But, I think you are a very stable individual, there just aren't enough women like you in your circle of friends! If there were, you would be a lot more comfortable in your own skin. I think that what you feel is the expectation of what you should be, even though you know it isn't right, and it doesn't fit.

Maybe a self-esteem thing, but I'm not so sure. Confidence that you are a REAL woman, no lipo, no expensive surgeries. Chasing the dream of what you think you should be doesn't match up with your personality the way I read it.

There was a time when I wouldn't go to the corner store for smokes without makeup on. I was jealous too of large breasted women who wore low cut dresses to the company Christmas party, making all the men drool in their suits. Hard enough to get them dressed up, then they drool all over the place lol How the attraction to that happens isn't as important as what it means. It doesn't mean that your man is going to get her number and meet her in room 101 at the Sleazy Motel for 20 minutes. It only means that the pushup bra worked pretty good, and she got the attention she wanted. (and needed)

To each his own. And I agree it is hard to ignore. But, if the thinking doesn't fit with you, it doesn't fit, period. You can't adjust who you are to fit into anybody elses' idea of what you should look like.

There are men who Google and ga over the big breast, pornish woman who strut their stuff, so I say, "you go girl" because she's getting what she needs. Does it mean anything more than that really?

I don't think you are the type of person who would be critical of others, so why are you so critical of you.

I know my husband after 33 years, would trip over backwards, do a sommersault, and end up with his head wedged into the bumper of some car, if lady boobs walked past him. I just laugh at him because it's meaningless. Just a knee-jerk reaction to visual stimuli, and nothing more. Making a big deal out of it only confuses him, because it didn't mean a thing.

I don't know what the answers are, but some of your statement brought me back to the days when women really rebelled against stereotyping and pressure to conform to 'beauty' standards. We seem to have slipped back a bit, even very young girls are obsessed with their appearance.

As JudyKayTee says, we have to support each other, regardless of anything else, we are all women in this together.

And if you think you need counselling, why not go. You will probably hear similar words to mine, and have a good intelligent conversation with someone who understands where you're coming from.

You need to get out of this relationship, you're boyfriend ain't man enough to appreciate a woman, he's just a boy. Having a girlfriend with a huge chest was bragging rights in high-school, after we grew up we stopped caring about cup size.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

Body- you are so right on in your opinions and I truly respect your point of view. You are right about how women are portrayed from magazines to movies and it is true that men are influenced by that, and women too.

But, I think you are a very stable individual, there just aren't enough women like you in your circle of friends! If there were, you would be a lot more comfortable in your own skin. I think that what you feel is the expectation of what you should be, even though you know it isn't right, and it doesn't fit.

Maybe a self-esteem thing, but I'm not so sure. Confidence that you are a REAL woman, no lipo, no expensive surgeries. Chasing the dream of what you think you should be doesn't match up with your personality the way I read it.

There was a time when I wouldn't go to the corner store for smokes without makeup on. I was jealous too of large breasted women who wore low cut dresses to the company Christmas party, making all the men drool in their suits. Hard enough to get them dressed up, then they drool all over the place lol How the attraction to that happens isn't as important as what it means. It doesn't mean that your man is going to get her number and meet her in room 101 at the Sleazy Motel for 20 minutes. It only means that the pushup bra worked pretty good, and she got the attention she wanted. (and needed)

To each his own. And I agree it is hard to ignore. But, if the thinking doesn't fit with you, it doesn't fit, period. You can't adjust who you are to fit into anybody elses' idea of what you should look like.

There are men who google and ga over the big breast, pornish woman who strut their stuff, so I say, "you go girl" because she's getting what she needs. Does it mean anything more than that really?

I don't think you are the type of person who would be critical of others, so why are you so critical of you.

I know my husband after 33 years, would trip over backwards, do a sommersault, and end up with his head wedged into the bumper of some car, if lady boobs walked past him. I just laugh at him because it's meaningless. Just a knee-jerk reaction to visual stimuli, and nothing more. Making a big deal out of it only confuses him, because it didn't mean a thing.

I don't know what the answers are, but some of your statement brought me back to the days when women really rebelled against stereotyping and pressure to conform to 'beauty' standards. We seem to have slipped back a bit, even very young girls are obsessed with their appearance.

As JudyKayTee says, we have to support eachother, regardless of anything else, we are all women in this together.

And if you think you need counselling, why not go. You will probably hear similar words to mine, and have a good intelligent conversation with someone who understands where you're coming from.

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You see, what I want more than having D cups is having that maturity, that level of acceptance and growth. I really wish to be able to think the way you think, rather, feel the way you feel, because it's truly inspiring. It must be really liberating. I really look up to women like you, thanks! :)

You flatter me! But, very insightful when you say the level of acceptance and growth. Very true much of that comes with time. It is very liberating to not remember the last time I criticized my body, and believe me, I'd be downright depressed if I did. Despite all I do physically, if I look too long I think, man, I got to ride that bike more! Lol

I promise you you will get there, and you will be so free from those restrictive insecurities that we have all had at one time or another during our lives.

Just remember that sooner or later, the maturity you will have, and the insightful thoughts and opinions will make you, a really great woman someday.

I'm a guy, I'm 18 and I personally prefer short girls with average or small breasts. I'm not into the big titted blonde super model whores that the stereotypical guy likes, I honestly wouldn't even give her a second glance. That's my preference but really, I never really notice that stuff when I start to like a girl anyway. It's never really mattered to me.

If your boyfriend likes big boobs, and he's dating you then there must have been something that he likes about you more than boob size.

Can I offer a completely different point of view? It's ALL a matter of perception.

When I first met my husband I was an Australian size 8 with size 10 DD breasts (36" breasts -24" waist -32" hips). Dolly Parton my husband used to call me. And, guess what? I absolutely HATED it. I hated men talking to my boobs or looking at them as I walked past. I hated having to buy bikinis that were a different size top and bottoms. I hated the feeling of them bouncing as I walked. I hated the way the bra straps pulled at my shoulders and left red marks because of the weight of my breasts.

I have always looked at women with smaller breasts and wished they were mine. I would kill to be able to wear shoe-string straps and no bra. I love to be able to wear strapless tops. But, I have never been able to and never will.

In the end you have to stop focusing on it. Your breasts are not what you are and obsessing won't make the slightest iota of difference. Trust me, I know! It just fills your time with useless thinking when you could be thinking of something much more useful.

There will ALWAYS be women that are more attractive... bigger breasts, better breasts, firmer breasts, younger breasts, etc, etc you know what I mean.

I would suggest that you enhance what you have. Wear tops that flatter your bust and wear bras that enhance it. There are some fabulous and gorgeous push up bras around. I can't emphasize enough the importance of a GOOD bra. (Good bras saved my life - I however wore minimiser bras for quite a while.)

Wear clothes that make your breasts look great and make them look sexy. Emphasize your femininity - at your age you can wear almost anything - take the time to make yourself look gorgeous.

As I said, it's all a matter of perception - start to perceive yourself as desirable and sexy and enhance your assets, and other people will share your perception!

My fiancé is a b-cup and I love her breasts. Get a man who appreciates you for you.