Ask Me Help Desk - No sexual pleasure?

No sexual pleasure?

I'm not hear to be judged, so please refrain.
I'm fourteen and my boyfriends fifteen, we've been intimate for a while now. However we just recently began having intercourse. (seriously don't judge me based on my age) I'm completely comfortable around him and we both care for each other a lot. But I'm just not getting pleasure or anything.
It still hurts a bit in fact.

We've always incorporated lots of foreplay, different positions, anything I want really but I barley feel a thing.. It just frusterating!
I don't want to hurt his feelings but I think he's starting to take it personally.

Hes gone down on me and it feels okay, would feel better if I could feel it more "strongly"?
He's knows what I like, he knows how I like it.
He'll do anything I want but nothings helping.

Help..

Number one,I can't morally propose any information.I think you are too young to start engaging in any sexual acts other than on yourself.

Teenage pregnancies have been such a problem for so many years,I seriously doubt you will get any help in here.

While I do appreciate your honesty,I can't see advising you in something I believe is wrong and irresponsible.

KBC

It is age, at 14 you are not phsycially or emotionally ready to be having sex.
And to be honest no one here will tell a child how to have good sex.

I don't see how you think you should be getting preasure when you are not even old enough about you own body to know what might produce pleasure.
You said not to judge you but you put yourself out here in the open and out in public so now people have a right to jucge you if they so desire.

I am sure that there will be some that give you answers more fitting to your question, but not me.

You're 14 years old, your body isn't ready for sex, that's why you aren't getting anything out of it.

Wait 6 or 7 years, you'll enjoy it more then. Better yet, wait until your engaged or married, it's even better then.

Ha seriously, these were the answers I was NOT looking for.
But its expected.

Look, I'm not an idoit. I'm have safe sex.

Letmetellu - Trust me, I'm veeerrrry aware of my own body and what produces pleasure. Please don't talk to me as if I'm a child.

Fr_Chuck - No one treats me as a child, and I'm not. So please don't talk to me as if I am one.

KBC - Who are you to decide how young is too young? I'm not being irrisponsible as I practice safe sex.

This is extremely frusterating. How old to you have to be to be taken seirously? I posted my age to be honest about my situation and to try and find seriouse answers.

Please don't answer if your only going to reply with some "moral advice". I've had enough of that in my life, I don't need it from people I don't know.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

It is age, at 14 you are not phsycially or emotionally ready to be having sex.
And to be honest no one here will tell a child how to have good sex.

Trust me, I'm both phsycially AND emotionally ready. Please don't tell me otherwise.

If you didn't want us to judge you, why would you tell us your ages?

Secondly your too young, in 2 years when your hopefully more mature I'm sure you will agree. Or in nine months when your pregnant, whatever comes first

Quote:

Originally Posted by KBC

Number one,I can't morally propose any information.I think you are too young to start engaging in any sexual acts other than on yourself.

Teenage pregnancies have been such a problem for so many years,I seriously doubt you will get any help in here.

While I do appreciate your honesty,I can't see advising you in something I believe is wrong and irresponsible.

KBC

Please don't tell me I don't know the meaning of love. Besides you don't need love to have sex. Although in this case I do believe it's there. Yeah maybe I am young but how old were romeo an juliet? Ha, yes that might sound stupid.

Quote:

Originally Posted by progressincolor

ha seriously, theese were the answers I was NOT looking for.
But its expected.

Look, I'm not an idoit. I'm have safe sex.
Letmetellu - Trust me, I'm veeerrrry aware of my own body and what produces pleasure. Please don't talk to me as if I'm a child.

Fr_Chuck - Noone treats me as a child, and I'm not. So please don't talk to me as if I am one.

KBC - Who are you to decide how young is too young? I'm not being irrisponsible as I practice safe sex.

There's no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex. There is no birth control on the market that is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy and STD's. In fact, you could still get pregnant or get an STD even when using three different birth control methods at once.

So don't claim to be having safe sex, because it doesn't exist.

As for not being a child. Honey, you're 14, you couldn't be more of a child. One day, 10 years from now, you'll look back on this and wonder what they heck you were thinking.

We all thought we were brilliant when we were 14, it takes growing up, learning, living, to realize how naïve you where then.

As for tips on sex. Well, you aren't even legally allowed to have sex at your age, so I won't help break the law by giving you tips. Sorry, if you want to continue with this you'll have to figure it out on your own.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sGt HarDKorE

If you didnt want us to judge you, why would you tell us your ages?

Secondly your too young, in 2 years when your hopefully more mature im sure you will agree. Or in nine months when your pregnant, whatever comes first

If a twenty year old was having protected sex would you assume they'd be getting pregnant? Probably not. I told my age to be honest.

You are 14. Your body hasn't even matured yet! There is a reason that you are suppose to wait until you're older to have sex. I know you will probably be angry with me, but that's fine. There is one chance in a million that the "relationship" you have with this boy will last even into your late teens. I know you will say that I'm wrong, and that you love each other and will be together forever, but there are so many corners you can't even see around right now.

You WILL grow up, and your thought process will change, your personalities will change, your likes and dislikes will change. Neither of you are going to have the same interests, same opinions, etc. once you grow up some. It just happens! It really does!

Right now you should be going to the mall with your friends, going to school dances with your gf's. doing your homework, playing sports, and all of the other things teens should do besides being sexually involved with a young boy. Do you know that if by some stroke of luck, the two of you are still together when you turn 17, he will be 18, and you will most likely be committing a crime? Sounds harsh, but I not saying it to be mean. I'm only saying it because it's the truth.

I know it's all fine right now, and you don't yet have the ability, because your brain hasn't yet fully developed, to see further on down the road, but I would stop worrying so much about sex, and start focusing on other things. There are too many pregnant teens, and there is just no way a 14 and 15 yr. old children, can raise a child. Think about it okay?

Sorry to disappoint you.This is a moral site.We believe in moral activities.Morally speaking of course.

KBC - Who are you to decide how young is too young? I'm not being irrisponsible as I practice safe sex.

Responsible young persons DON'T HAVE SEX.Period.

There is NO SAFE SEX,by that I mean condoms break,yes really!

Birth control isn't 100% effective.

Can you even imagine what it would be like to have a child at 15 years old?Heck,your not even legal to drive,much less have a job that pays enough to support a kid.

Look up the amount of money it takes to raise a child from birth till 18,and then see what collage costs.

This could go on and on.

You did post this question and we are giving you really good advise,abstinence IS safe sex.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

There's no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex. There is no birth control on the market that is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy and STD's. In fact, you could still get pregnant or get an STD even when using three different birth control methods at once.

So don't claim to be having safe sex, because it doesn't exist.

As for not being a child. Honey, you're 14, you couldn't be more of a child. One day, 10 years from now, you'll look back on this and wonder what they heck you were thinking.

We all thought we were brilliant when we were 14, it takes growing up, learning, living, to realize how naive you where then.

As for tips on sex. Well, you aren't even legally allowed to have sex at your age, so I won't help break the law by giving you tips. Sorry, if you want to continue with this you'll have to figure it out on your own.

I respect that, I know the "risks". Ahh but trust me, I've been through more and lived through more that most of the people you'd consider "old enough for sex". I'm extremely mature for my age and I'm not just saying that. He doesn't have any STDS, positive.
Don't call me "honey".

Quote:

Originally Posted by progressincolor

If a twenty year old was having protected sex would you assume they'd be getting pregnant? Probably not. I told my age to be honest.

Yes, there's a chance that a twenty year old will get pregnant even when using safer sex.

There is no safe sex, it's non existent, a myth. Any sex, protected or not can result in pregnancy or an STD!

Don't schools teach sex ed anymore?

Quote:

Originally Posted by progressincolor

Please don't tell me I don't know the meaning of love. Besides you don't need love to have sex. Although in this case I do believe its there. Yeah maybe I am young but how old were romeo an juliet? ha, yes that might sound stupid.

Well,that says a lot.

If you look at what I wrote,I never said anything about love.

I loved my teddy bear when I was 6.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KBC

Sorry to disappoint you.This is a moral site.We believe in moral activities.Morally speaking of course.

KBC - Who are you to decide how young is too young? I'm not being irrisponsible as I practice safe sex.

Responsible young persons DON'T HAVE SEX.Period.

There is NO SAFE SEX,by that I mean condoms break,yes really!

Birth control isn't 100% effective.

Can you even imagine what it would be like to have a child at 15 years old?Heck,your not even legal to drive,much less have a job that pays enough to support a kid.

Look up the amount of money it takes to raise a child from birth till 18,and then see what collage costs.

This could go on and on.

You did post this question and we are giving you really good advise,abstinence IS safe sex.

Ah but obviously I'm not practicing abstinence. Yes, I'm aware of the small risks, I've thought everything through.

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck8

You are 14. Your body hasn't even matured yet! There is a reason that you are suppose to wait until you're older to have sex. I know you will probably be angry with me, but that's fine. There is one chance in a million that the "relationship" you have with this boy will last even into your late teens. I know you will say that I'm wrong, and that you love each other and will be together forever, but there are so many corners you can't even see around right now.

You WILL grow up, and you're thought process will change, your personalities will change, your likes and dislikes will change. Neither of you are going to have the same interests, same opinions, etc., once you grow up some. It just happens! It really does!

Right now you should be going to the mall with your friends, going to school dances with your gf's., doing your homework, playing sports, and all of the other things teens should do besides being sexually involved with a young boy. Do you know that if by some stroke of luck, the two of you are still together when you turn 17, he will be 18, and you will most likely be commiting a crime? Sounds harsh, but I not saying it to be mean. I'm only saying it because it's the truth.

I know it's all fine right now, and you don't yet have the ability, because your brain hasn't yet fully developed, to see further on down the road, but I would stop worrying so much about sex, and start focusing on other things. There are too many pregnant teens, and there is just no way a 14 and 15 yr. old children, can raise a child. Think about it okay?!

Of course were not going to be together forever, I've realized this. But I'm with him now, and in this moment this is my choice. I do go to the mall, I do go to school dances. I do hangout with friends, but I'm also with him. And my feelings for him are real. I know he's not using me because I'm actually the one who pushed for this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Yes, there's a chance that a twenty year old will get pregnant even when using safer sex.

There is no safe sex, it's non existent, a myth. Any sex, protected or not can result in pregnancy or an STD!

Don't schools teach sex ed anymore?

Aha barely. "this is a penish, and this is a vagina". I know all I need to know. As I said before I'm aware there are risks. Just like walking out your front door, getting in a car, meeting new people, going new places.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KBC

Well,that says a lot.

If you look at what I wrote,I never said anything about love.

I loved my teddy bear when I was 6.

It says a lot how? I misqouted, my bad.

One thing you may not have planned for is your boyfriend dumping you when you get pregnant. So basically he gets to go on with his life while you drop out of school to have this baby and if you don't return, you will not be able to go to college, and then you will be living with your parents for the rest of your life. Oh and if you pregnant, your peers at school will talk about you and call you names such as "slut" and such. Im not trying to be rude but my friend just had her baby and she's 16. It wasn't easy on her, luckily her parents helped her out A lot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by progressincolor

I respect that, I know the "risks". Ahh but trust me, I've been through more and lived through more that most of the people you'd consider "old enough for sex". I'm extremely mature for my age and I'm not just saying that. He doesn't have any STDS, positive.
Don't call me "honey".

Fine, no honey for you.

Do you think I give this advice because I'm some old fuddy duddy sitting at home knitting socks for my husband? I was 14 years old once too, and I made you look like a little angel. I learned the hard way what having sex at a young age does to you. I didn't listen to smarter people either, because I knew it all. I didn't know squat compared to what I know now, or even what I knew at 18.

If you want to ruin your life because you think you're so smart, then I can't do anything about that. But if you're as mature as you claim to be, you'll listen and let it all sink in.

I used protection too, and I got an STD, I'm lucky though, it was easily cleared up with a few months of antibiotics. I never got pregnant but that was because of a medical condition, so once again, I was lucky. I did everything you could imagine with as many guys as possible because I didn't give a damn about myself.

Now, here I am, 24 years later, I'm married, have two kids, and the one thing that I regret is what I did when I was young. I can't take that back, ever. You still have the time to make the right choices, or you live to regret it, and you will, trust me.

If you're in love and he loves you then you don't need to be having sex until you're old enough, and no, you aren't old enough!

Quote:

Originally Posted by progressincolor

ah but obviously I'm not practicing abstinence. Yes, I'm aware of the small risks, I've thought everything through.

Small risks?

Thought it all through?

Are you totally sure you are equipped to deal with a responsibility of this magnitude, you aren't being very responsible with this behavior.

I had sex early in life too,I was lucky there was no ultimate responsibility to greet me afterwards,I am only speaking to you from the heart,not just as a parent,but as one who has to see the posts on how a girl has to give up her child due to... this... or that... or no money... or drugs taking over...

You can't be ready,I don't care how much life you have lived,YOUR ONLY 14

::sigh::

It's not that anyone here will be able to reason with you, which in itself shows your maturity. You will not find the answers you are looking for here and it's unfortunate that you are in such a rush to grow up.

Maybe you should address this situation with your parents, if you are mature enough for sex, they will surely tell you how to make it pleasureable and they would know you far better than anyone in this forum...

Talk to them or your legal guardian.

Quote:

Originally Posted by progressincolor

aha barely. "this is a penish, and this is a vagina". I know all I need to know. As I said before I'm aware there are risks. Just like walking out your front door, getting in a car, meeting new people, going new places.

You don't even know how to spell penis.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sGt HarDKorE

One thing you may not have planned for is your bf dumping u when u get pregnant. So basically he gets to go on with his life while you drop out of school to have this baby and if you dont return, you will not be able to go to college, and then you will be living with your parents for the rest of your life. Oh and if you pregnant, your peers at school will talk about you and call you names such as "slut" and such. Im not trying to be rude but my friend just had her baby and shes 16. It wasnt easy on her, luckily her parents helped her out ALOT.

Its not uncommon for teens to have sex and not go through situations such as the one you just told.

Quote:

Originally Posted by progressincolor

Please don't tell me I don't know the meaning of love. Besides you don't need love to have sex. Although in this case I do believe its there. Yeah maybe I am young but how old were romeo an juliet? ha, yes that might sound stupid.

First off romeo and juliet were fictional, second off yes you don't need love to have sex, but than what is the point, if that sex isn't because of love than what is it for? Fun? Tell that to all the pregnant teens who realized they made a mistake

Quote:

Originally Posted by progressincolor

Trust me, I'm both phsycially AND emotionally ready. Please don't tell me otherwise.

You think you are, but I'm sorry, you are not! I thought I was too at that age. I wasn't, and now I know better. We are taking you seriously, that is why we are telling you the truth! I thought I knew better than EVERYONE else when I was 14. I thought my parents were morons, in fact I thought ALL older people were morons! I thought they were old fashioned know it alls that were just brain dead! I would do the complete opposite of what they told me to do, I would say whatever I wanted to say to them, I just thought they were crazy people out to ruin my life!

Then I grew up. I learned some hard lessons, and then looked at the older people in my family and wondered... how the heck did they EVER put up with me! One thing about being ready for something like sex, is knowing your body. You don't really know your body or completely understand your emotions at 14. The reason? You haven't fully developed! It's just a fact of life! You haven't! You may think you're different, but you're not. I'm not saying this because it's my opinion, I'm saying this because it's a proven medical fact!

Quote:

Originally Posted by progressincolor

Its not uncommon for teens to have sex and not go through situations such as the one you just told.

I know its not, I think its like 1/4 teen girls will get pregnant or something. But does that mean you have to do it? Is that what your trying to say? Like it's the new cool thing to do?! Or are you desperate for attention from your boyfriend? Im sorry but that is what comes to mind. Are you not strong enough to wait or just kiss?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Fine, no honey for you.

Do you think I give this advice because I'm some old fuddy duddy sitting at home knitting socks for my husband? I was 14 years old once too, and I made you look like a little angel. I learned the hard way what having sex at a young age does to you. I didn't listen to smarter people either, because I knew it all. I didn't know squat compared to what I know now, or even what I knew at 18.

If you want to ruin your life because you think you're so smart, then I can't do anything about that. But if you're as mature as you claim to be, you'll listen and let it all sink in.

I used protection too, and I got an STD, I'm lucky though, it was easily cleared up with a few months of antibiotics. I never got pregnant but that was because of a medical condition, so once again, I was lucky. I did everything you could imagine with as many guys as possible because I didn't give a damn about myself.

Now, here I am, 24 years later, I'm married, have two kids, and the one thing that I regret is what I did when I was young. I can't take that back, ever. You still have the time to make the right choices, or you live to regret it, and you will, trust me.

If you're in love and he loves you then you don't need to be having sex until you're old enough, and no, you aren't old enough!

Your answering from a personal expirence, understandably. Of course I don't know it all! I've got a lot of life in front of me, but this is my life right now. Of course I'm not a little angel I've never been.
Its already sunk in, I've known all this stuff for a while. How is this ruining my life? Please tell me you don't honestly think that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KBC

Small risks??

Thought it all through??

Are you totally sure you are equipped to deal with a responsibility of this magnitude,,you aren't being very responsible with this behavior.

I had sex early in life too,I was lucky there was no ultimate responsibility to greet me afterwards,I am only speaking to you from the heart,not just as a parent,but as one who has to see the posts on how a girl has to give up her child due to...this...or that...or no money...or drugs taking over....

You can't be ready,I don't care how much life you have lived,YOUR ONLY 14

I'm only fourteen I know. I know I'm young. I know I know I know.
Lets just pretend I'm not getting pregnant.

Ah and about drugs taking over? I know enough of that already too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by progressincolor

Your answering from a personal expirence, understandably. Of course I don't know it all! I've got a lot of life in front of me, but this is my life right now. Of course I'm not a little angel I've never been.
Its already sunk in, I've known all this stuff for a while. How is this ruining my life? Please tell me you don't honestly think that.

Innocence is such a fleeting thing today.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

::sigh::

It's not that anyone here will be able to reason with you, which in itself shows your maturity. You will not find the answers you are looking for here and it's unfortunate that you are in such a rush to grow up.

Maybe you should address this situation with your parents, if you are mature enough for sex, they will surely tell you how to make it pleasureable and they would know you far better than anyone in this forum....

Talk to them or your legal guardian.

I've already made up my mind, the deed is already done. What is there to reason with? My parents are strict catholics, that's out of the question unless I want to find myself out on my own.

Just happy to know at 14 the idea of sex still turned my stomach... thank goodness for being so sheltered... at least back then.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KBC

Innocence is such a fleeting thing today.

I know, I'm sorry. Thank you for taking interest in my post though.

What did you honestly hope to get out of this?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Just happy to know at 14 the idea of sex still turned my stomach... thank goodness for being so sheltered... at least back then.

That's the thing though, my stomach doesn't turn.

Quote:

Originally Posted by progressincolor

I've already made up my mind, the deed is already done. What is there to reason with? My parents are strict catholics, thats out of the question unless I want to find myself out on my own.

Than I guess we have proven here you will be finding out on your own... There is no advice for you on this topic.

Ahahah just to throw it out there..
Did I mention I'm bisexual?