Happy Friday everyone!! OK my sister is coming back next Wednesday and going back to her husband. She didn't do anything different in Wyoming than she did here. I would not have bought the plane ticket to come back.. I wish my dad would have made her get the money herself. Maybe then she might have found a job or something!! I can't believe she is going back to him. It really is a shame..
START, I love you and I am taking your advice, financially or otherwise I will not enable her AT ALL.. She cannot live with me UNLESS she makes major changes FIRST.
METERRE, YOU can send me a message!! I am sorry I never delete my old ones from you, I still read them from time to time. I miss you and I am glad you are still around and haven't given up on me!! I love you too.
I can't give in to her anymore and I HATE that she is going to live with him. Her choice not mine but it does scare me to death.

Hello,
This may be a difficult question, one that you may or may not know the answer to, one that your sister may or may not know the answer to. But did anything happen to her back in high school? It sounds like things suddenly changed for her in high school; perhaps nothing happened, but... maybe something happened that has triggered these years of unhappiness?
Hope this helps...

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Originally Posted by shatteredsoul

Happy Friday everyone!!!!! OK my sister is coming back next Wednesday and going back to her husband. She didn't do anything different in Wyoming than she did here. I would not have bought the plane ticket to come back.. I wish my dad would have made her get the money herself. Maybe then she might have found a job or something!!!!!!!! I can't believe she is going back to him. It really is a shame..
START, I love you and I am taking your advice, financially or otherwise I will not enable her AT ALL.. She cannot live with me UNLESS she makes major changes FIRST.
METERRE, YOU can send me a message!!!!!! I am sorry I never delete my old ones from you, I still read them from time to time. I miss you and I am glad you are still around and haven't given up on me!!! I love you too.
I can't give in to her anymore and I HATE that she is going to live with him. Her choice not mine but it does scare me to death.

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Honey, I know how hard it is for you. Setting ultimatums for loved ones is not easy but someimes very necessary to get them to finally get up and do something for themselves. Otherwise you will feel guilty as an enabler. You know that my wishes and virtual hugs are with you in this, and that any time you need that extra push, just let us know.

Love,
Chery

Ok that's good to hear... I'll drop you a line and send it. Now it is sad your sister keeps doing the same thing... but you must let it go. I know, we all know it frustrates you... your love is kind. You wish you could fix her life so she wouldn't be in that hole she is now... but only God is the one that can do it. So you just leave that up to him, and he'll do what he has to do.
I wish you the best Shatteredsoul.

I, also, wish you all the best in the coming months in dealing with this situation.

Your efforts in dealing with your sister is a long road, hopefully leading to an amicable ending for all involved.

BOUNDARIES,boundaries,boundaries... set them, practice them, live by them.

My friends and family all have them in dealing with many different facets of my changing moods(etc etc etc... lol) and for the most part they work.OLD HABITS being the hardest to break,old behaviors the last to be replaced with healthy ones.

Remember, you are in control, I believe you can do this,do you?

TTYL,

Ken

Join her in Yoga and Meditation

Do I think I can do this..? HMMM Ken, some days I feel absolutely certain about everything and other days completely confused and disillusioned.. I just have to take each day as it comes. If I think too much I get overwhelmed, sad and confused. I think there are lots of old habits to break and not just mine.. also not responding the same way every time. I may not ever be able to help her and that is the plain truth. I won't ever give up I will just change how I try.
Joining her in Yoga and meditation is a really REALLY Good idea.. the problem.. getting her there. She ran the car my mom gave her into the ground.. that is her excuse for not working either. She lives about 40 minutes from here so it makes it difficult picking her up. I happen to think it would be helpful for both of us, just not sure how to make it happen.. THANK YOU BOTH.. and all of you for responding..

METERRE, START AND CHERY Thanks for all your kind words.. this battle is beyond my ability to fight. Staying in to be supportive but I realize I have to change the playing rules..
She comes home tomorrow. I am afraid it will be more of the same with her. I want to stop being afraid and stop feeling bad, about anything..
I love every darn one of you.
Ken, Look how far you have come.. I hope one day that my sister will be more self sufficient and stable so she can help others as you have.

shatteredsoul
I read your very first post which is posted in Oct. 2007 and few replies to it. But unfortunately I don't have time to read all the posts from Oct. 2007 to the end of Feb. 2008. I therefore request you to brief me about the things happened and changes took place during last 4 months. I think I can give you a direction to solve the problem.
I am truly concerned with this issue and would like to advise.
Regards