You should write more... its very therapeutic! :) At least you can get paid for some of your experiences... unless it bothers you that some people get pleasure from your terror! But it sounds like you got past that and you can do some good for others. I, for one, have NO CREATIVE IMAGINATION! I admire that in others, but unfortunately it comes to you with a price.

Your journals may scare therpaists, and that's okay! They will get to know you from your perspective and that is key! They need to understand you and feel your feelings! :)

Thanks for responding... I'll keep reading.

David, I see that you have something in common with Ruby, but we have something in common also. I too have survived cancer. I too took myself to chemo (on my lunch hour, I may add) then back to work it was. I know what it's like to have a "useless" family, and a family that thinks I was a "tough bird." But that is not always the case is it David? Cancer is scary, frightening, and when one lives it basically alone because everyone is in denial, it can be a burden that you cannot describe to anyone but those who have lived it also.

That aside, I do see you getting defensive when the subject of therapy comes up. Now, I really don't blame you after all you have been through. But there have been breakthroughs in the past few years. You are getting your meds through your GP if I read correctly. Ambien, while good and works well, is not, in my opinion, working well for you. You need something more like a trycyclic. Have you ever tried a trycyclic antidepressant?

I also feel that you have not found the therapist that is right for you. Sometimes it is like finding a needle in a haystack, but once that needle is found it is a miraculous feeling.

I know what it is like to scare the bejesus out of someone, you should hear my husband's dreams, his are horrid. I listen intently to his to help him fight his demons. You too have demons that you need to rid yourself of, however, you seem to just give in to them, rather than rid yourself of this terrible place you are in.

You deserve peace. You seem like a very educated man with a loving family, it is time you enjoy life rather than wallowing in this pit of despair you seem to think you cannot get away from. But I assure you that there is someone out there that can help you.

You just need to be willing to take that step.

Well Yelo, with me, I am always an open book, not much into secrets, and I think I have at least the ability to be desriptive, one plus to being a hyper sensitive. Some don't really believe that we exist, just like with temperature, I can always accurately know the temperature inside or out within one degree, never ever wrong, been tested too many times. And my body is affected by as little as a one degree change up or down in temp.
I personally don't drink at all, but locally, people love for me to choose wines for them, I can detect the minute difference in smells and other qualities by the smell alone, not even a single taste. Have had wine waiters try to fool me with brining out similar but slightly different vintages of the same wines, but can always tell them apart correctly. Doesn't win me any money or get me a prize, but amuses the crowd anyhow. On materials, like say a dress on a woman, or a jacket, if there is a design or plaid, and I don't mean a raised one or some obvious visual difference, I can feel the design with my finger tip and the slight temp difference between the lighter and darker portions. Again, not a useful skill, but entertaining.

JP, not as defensive on the therapist bit as you make me sound, its just that I have done that been there, and was inconclusive. Plus I have only had good health insurance again in recent months. They won't talk for you for free as we both know. As far as meds, you know far more about them then me. I don't understand some of the terms and differences that you refer, sorry, was never one of my things.

And you say I must be willing to take that step? Geez, what do you think I have been doing for 54 years? There has never been a time in my life where these things haven't been a problem to me, and affect directly the quality of my life. Yes, I function, because like most of humankind, I survive and adapt.

Well this is my last posting here, on t his subject, feel like I have taken up enough time and trouble with everyone that responded. For those that read for amusement, I hope you enjoyed yourself, I double as "Chuckles" the clown for fun. Appreciate those that gave this serious thought and for their advice. Thanks again.

Please keep us updated as to what you do with the advice... others can learn as well... including me! :)

Hi,
I also had a good bit of chronic nightmares growing up and it felt so real. I no longer have these night mares as an adult and I thank God for it but I think it is because of the way my mom raised me because I had a stressful childhood.

Brandy - thanks for sharing, you may be right in what caused yours, that would be considered somewhat common, with me, picture the same thing, but it never went away as you aged, and I am now almost 55. For the record, I have had horrific nightmares 5 out of the past 7 nights, so the struggle continues.

That's awful, I suffer from awful nightmares myself and have done since childhood. Have you looked at your diet. I know for a fact certain foods trigger my nightmares off. Apples before bed are a no no for me and now I am questioning Oranges. Dairy food should be avoided before bed and chocolate. I totally sympathise with you its horrible.

I was thinking. I have no idea how you can stop the dreams. But I was thinking you say you have them all written down and drawings and all. Maybe you could do a series of books and eventually movies about a guy that is too afraid to sleep because of his dreams and alternate the dreams with his awake life. And have the story to the point the reader feels like the dreams are the true reality.
Might as well use your suffering with the dreams to your advantage.

You may have too much zinc or something in your system, it can make you sensitive to taste, smell and hearing.
If you are dreaming in color it could be too much vitamin B in your system.

David, Even though it's been a year since this thread was active, I hope you're able to see this message. I read through this entire thread and am very curious as to whether you've found relief.

My husband has been suffering from nightmares his whole life as well. He's now 33 years old and the nightmares are really taking their toll on him. He doesn't share all his nightmares with me I believe because he doesn't want to scare me. I do know that he frequently kills people, is killed, is at war, is trapped in a country far from me and can't get out, etc. I have to always be careful when waking him up, because he always wakes up startled.

He is also very sensitive. All of his senses are 10x more powerful than mine are. If we go to Home Depot, he can only last about 5 minutes before the sounds get to him. When we go out to dinner, he can tell me what's going on at each table. He's also Left Handed.

He has never sought help for his nightmares. I'd love to find help for him and hope at least to find some relief. He went to a GP years ago for anxiety and has been on Paxil. It helped his anxiety a little bit, but I feel it's the wrong drug. He still stresses over small stuff and has nightmares 6-7 nights a week. If you or someone else involved in this thread is still out there, please respond. Thanks for listening...

I hope you read this seeing as its been a while but I am the Same way. Everything you've described is how I am as well except I'm right handed, I'm a girl, and I'm 21. I remember every dream I've had and also find that the older I get the more often I have "horrific" dreams as I call them, which are dreams that scare the life out of me and are hard to near impossible to wake up from and feel real. I scream in my sleep, I sometimes imitate what I'm doing in my dreams in the waking world and have found that I have a great eye for detail as well have great reflexes which are probably the only two benefits of this problem where as the list of negative effects are a mile long and I suffer from all of them including intense paranoia which I hate having. Have you found any kind of way to end this, Im so desperate to know :( I fee like I'm going crazy some days.