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Originally Posted by Altenweg

We don't? I thought we did. Darnit, now I have to redo my business cards. :( ;)

Starby's right, at least you stuck around and listened, that's more than most people do.

We can only give you advice, we can't force you to take it, but darnit we sure do try.

We're here because we care, and also because we've lived through alot of the stuff that teens are coming here to ask about.

I know you probably think we're just old ladies who don't know anything, or that times are different now, but they really aren't and we really aren't. Well, Starby's old, but I'm still a spring chicken. ;) (I'm going to die now, you realize that!)

Just know that we care. Know that we're here to listen, and please, at least think about what we said, sleep on it, hear it for what it is, concern for you. Can you do that for us? Please?

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I'd be sleeping with one eye open if I were you Chickypoo! :p

If you were as mature as you say, then you would be waiting for the mind, body, and soul, to get in sync with the brain, and you can do this right, instead of merely going through the motions of being an adult.

Its like trying to drive a car, and can't reach the pedals, you ain't going nowhere.

Obviously there still is a lot to learn, so you'll know what your doing. As mature as you think you are, I hope your smart enough to be patient with yourself, and learn the right things, the right way, after you have learned about yourself. Don't rush it, you'll miss something important.

I know from years of experience that the problems your having, is your body telling you to pay attention to other areas of your life, that your either neglecting, or not doing the right things by yourself.

You may not understand it, and that's okay, but I hope your mature enough to not be stubborn, and just think about it.

Hey progressincolor,
I think a major problem here is that no one feels it's legal to give you any advice. I think it's safe to say that if sex is not giving you pleasure, then there's no reason to do it. If you were an adult, most people would say to visit a doctor, see if your hormone levels were normal, ask you lots of questions about masturbation and whether that gives you pleasure. They would ask about your boyfriend etc. But there's no reason to assume you would have normal hormone levels for an adult woman at your age and there's the legal problem. A doctor would have the same response, I bet. Plus pleasurable sex involves learning that is specific to the people involved Some people are not a good match.

You are obviously articulate and thoughtful. But I agree that there's no reason to rush this. I don't think that innocence and virginity are these huge valuable commodities that need to be protected, so that's not where I'm coming from. I suspect that you will come to have a satisfying sex life in the future. For now, be patient with yourself, with life.

The other thing I am wondering is where the pressure is coming from to get this right so soon. You said your boyfriend was taking this personally. What does he say?

The American culture is full of misconceptions about sex... TV, movies, porn in our homes, friends opinions... on and on.

The bottom line is that you don't enjoy it... so, for you, you are too young and immature to enjoy sex.

Also, since you are so young, your boyfriend may be working you over, not making love... which is what happens to so many girls who are too young, hence too ignorant to have sex.

I think you should stop having sex asap so you don't get totally ruined by teen years of bad sex.