Vitamins are fine as long as they aren't megadoses.
Birth control is a bit iffy, but better to stay on it.

Wellbutrin is an antidepressant. These can be enormously helpful for some people. I know two people who take them and they really help. My sister takes prozac and a friend takes Effexor, which helps him with social anxiety. Now he says it's easy for him to go up to strangers and just start talking. He likes that.

The only problem with antidepressants is that in a few people they actually trigger suicidal thoughts and suicide, which is the last thing you need. Each kind has different side effects. Some will help you sleep. Some will keep you awake. You kind of have to find one that works for you but I think KISS might be right that one of these might help you a lot. I hadn't thought of that, but you sound like a prime candidate.

You asked how Wellbutrin and other antidepressants work:

CORRECTION: Wellbutrin works differently.

Nobody completely understands how antidepressants work. A lot of doctors and other people will tell you that they "correct an chemical imbalance" but in fact nobody knows what imbalance they correct, if any.

There are molecules that help your brain cells talk to each other called neurotransmitters. One of them is serotonin. Most modern antidepressants make sure there is more serotonin available in the space between brain cells so they can send signals to one another. The thing is, though, that the antidepressant causes an increase in serotonin right away, soon after you take it, but most people don't feel better for several weeks, so it's not just the serotonin that's making them feel better.

What probably happens is that more brain cell connections form--they can measure the increase in neural connections. And THAT correlates with people feeling better. But the exact nature of those connections and how the antidepressant makes it happen is still not understood as far as I know.

Welbutrin is not of the SSRI (Selective Seretonin Reuptake Inhibitor) or trycyclic class. It's a member of the aminoketone class.

It would be great if it worked for me. I'd like a quick fix. At the same time, it would be nice if I didn't need any medications.

I don't know why it is so hard for me to go and talk to a therapist. Maybe tomorrow I will see if I can find the place at least and walk by... ugh.

I feel a lot better now that I have been talking to everyone on here. Especially you, asking. I told my closest and oldest friend what I did because she has had similar, though not as close or as violent, experiences with cutting and near.. dying experiences (she never actually took the pills, thankfully, and she stopped hurting herself). She said it scared her and to call her next time, but I told her I'm okay now and not to worry. I just feel kind of weird about it..

What's the difference between SSRI and aminoketone?

I'm going to sleep now. Hopefully my body will feel better in the morning.
Thank you all so much. Talking helps me not think.

I can't sleep. I'm so angry. My stupid roommate came in from a party, turned on every freaking light, and got on skype. Then she had her trashy friend in her and they made popcorn. They were laughing and shhing each other because I got pissed and made it clear this was not okay. I told her, I'm awake, stop talking about me like I'm not here. I really do hate people. Is it so unreasonable to want to sleep at 1:30am? I really want to do something destructive to her stuff right now, but I will try to wait and yell at her when she gets back. In the mean time, how am I supposed to sleep? This is frustrating right now..

*Nevermind. I'll take sudafed and yell at her in the morning..

I feel so hopeless..

If I drop out, everyone will be disappointed in me. My friends will ostracize me because they are all overachievers and like college and would think I was such a quitter. My family paid good money for me to be here and on all my supplies. People gave me graduation money. They took stock in me, so much is riding on me.

I would go back to my little city in New York, six miles outside the city at that, and live in my room. All my friends would be in college, making something of themselves. I'd spend the majority of my time alone and online or sleeping. I'd have no way to get anywhere because my parents would need the cars. If I could find a job, it would be at McDonald's. I'd never leave the city because there is no opportunity, and I'd probably end up killing myself.

If I stay, I'm probably just delaying the inevitable. I'm not social, I'm not okay, and I just don't care already. It's noon, I have class at 1:30pm, and I just want to sleep and cry. I could change roommates, but that would involve me probably moving all my stuff. Then my snarky roommate would probably tell everyone I'm antisocial and don't like fun, and I'd get a reputation as old and a jerk.

She came in drunk and stoned last night. She turned on ever light, made popcorn, had some girl in here, and laughed uncontrollably. She was loud and disrespectful. I told her this morning that I don't care what she does outside the room, I don't care if she gets sh*tfaced every night, but when she is in here, she needs to have respect. I told her that things she can do in her room at home are not acceptable with other people and that it's not unreasonable for someone to want to sleep at 1:30am. I told her that maybe I want to get up in the morning and do things. I said maybe we needed quiet hours (11pm-7am, I was thinking). I told her I didn't care if she got on skype if she didn't turn on every light and be loud, but clearly she can't be quiet.

She told me that she can't do that. She said this is college and Thursday night is a weekend. She said she was like that because she was so "lifted" (drunk/stoned). She said she is a loud person and can't be quiet, even from 11-7am. (She's 17, she'll be 18 in a month.) She suggested we switch roommates because she has a friend who hates her roommate (not that she doesn't like me, of course) who is ROTC and very down to earth.

I could move in with my gram and maybe get a jon, but my grandparents are on fixed income. I feel like everyone was so excited and invested in me. I feel stupid for thinking change would do me good and like a failure for giving in so soon. I feel like my family saw this coming, because I was never a fan of high school, and will be so disappointed in me. I don't want to face them.

The thing is, if I drop out now, then I won't be charged for anything. If I hold out, even a week, I will. I could go online, I'd do that, but I'd still feel like I let everyone down, including myself.

Plus I don't want to do the walk of shame and move everything out after only a week. I hate this so much..

I'll bet money that you're a perfect candidate for Wellbutrin SR.

My fried could also write like you. Extremely well. So many things fit. If you also have anxiety problems, such as least night, meds such as Ativan could help. It's such a touchy situation because anti-depresents can increase suicide risk, but can also reduce it. I'd say the same for Ativan under the right situations. I personaly know the effects of both of these meds. so I'm not barking up a tree. Attivan is typically designed for transient use. Say six months of grieving or something.
I do wish you had a good doctor that would trust you.

I take Ativan for two reasons. My elderly mother gets out of hand (anti-anxiety) and when I can't sleep because of a migraine. I can't take the stuff during the day. Probably could if I cut the dosage. If you give it 8-10 hours of time before you have to get up, I'm fine. You don't feellike you were drugged to fall asleep. It just reduces the anxiety, so you can fall asleep.


Yea, there are unresonable people in the world and I don't think it's your fault. If compromises can't be worked out, then you need to change your surroundings.

I'm withdrawing. I'm going to go live with my gram. My parents are coming down to move me out tomorrow. I just feel like such a failure and a burden. I'm not even sure I can face my family after this. My gram keeps saying "we will work it out" and insists she's okay with me moving in, but I don't buy it. I just feel lost and stuck and hopeless and I don't know where to go from here..

Get your A$$ to the doctor ASAP. I don't want to hear it that your withdrawing.

Make an appointment with a psychiatrist, NOW!

It will be money wel spent. Trust me.

You can use:

Im starting school soon and am having trouble coping and staying focused. Some of my symptoms are:

List

It's been suggested that Wellbutrin might be able to help me. What do you think? Would you be wiling to allow me a trial?

If your asked who, just say an online community.

You withdrawing is stupid. Fix the problem.

Tel you what. Instead of withdrawing, change your course load to something that you can pass with ease. Coledge programs are desiged to eliminate people. Don't let them do that.

College is "get good grades" Nothing else matters.

When I leared how to go to college, I became a ghost in a classes, I was told in one class If you have something better to do, don't bother coming to class". I tested out of classes. I had my grade changed from a B to an A all because of a couple of points. I was told that I didn't have to come to the last 2 or 3 classes because I did so well and I was having dental surgery.
I challenged teachers and won. Its a game. Play to win!

I've already missed three classes now, and my head is killing me. It's basically been arranged. I can still go online and work. Hopefully my grandparents were sincere in taking me, because then I could work a lot and hopefully move out fast. I don't want to burden them at all, just I know I'd be more likely to live on my own sooner if I could live with them in the city. I'm talking to my friends and family and they just keep saying it's my decision and they hope I don't have regrets. It just makes me feel even worse. It's the people I have problems with, and myself, not the campus or set up or classes.

I could be okay with this if I didn't have to worry about letting everyone down and being judged..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by give2me1lemons

I'm withdrawing. I'm going to go live with my gram. My parents are coming down to move me out tomorrow. I just feel like such a failure and a burden. I'm not even sure I can face my family after this. My gram keeps saying "we will work it out" and insists she's okay with me moving in, but I don't buy it. I just feel lost and stuck and hopeless and I don't know where to go from here..

---

I'm actually happy to hear this. I think you'll do better in college when you are more ready. I am confident you'll be able to go another time.

Look, I dropped out of college after two years because I was depressed and confused and I went back after a year and did much better. Now I'm the author of a college textbook that has won awards.

What you are going through is a TEMPORARY setback. If you broke your leg or something you wouldn't be beating on yourself for not being up to what some other people are able to do. Right now, you are dealing with pretty serious anxiety and depression. It's okay for people to have problems and be taken care of. Let your gram take care of you. Enjoy it! I'm really glad to know she's there for you.

You both deserve and need the care of others right now.

A friend of mine once gave me a "prescription" for Entitlement. He actually wrote it out on a piece of paper and said take some twice a day.

So I'm writing you a prescription for some, too. You are entitled to take a break, entitled to be cared for and loved, entitled to receive help, entitled to take your time, and entitled to be you.

Have you made that appointment yet? Tell them its an emergency. Use the colledge infirmary for referrals.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by give2me1lemons

I've already missed three classes now, and my head is killing me. It's basically been arranged. I can still go online and work. Hopefully my grandparents were sincere in taking me, because then I could work a lot and hopefully move out fast. I don't want to burden them at all, just I know I'd be more likely to live on my own sooner if I could live with them in the city. I'm talking to my friends and family and they just keep saying it's my decision and they hope I don't have regrets. It just makes me feel even worse. It's the people I have problems with, and myself, not the campus or set up or classes.

I could be okay with this if I didn't have to worry about letting everyone down and being judged..

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Lemons, I think you are right that you aren't ready to be in college right now. And you are getting away from that dreadful roommate, too! I think it's fine to change your mind and take some time off. You can always go back later. I have several friends whose kids started college and then came home because they were so unhappy. What you are doing is actually pretty common.

Don't worry about regrets. You are making a good decision for right now. It's easy to second guess yourself later, but there's no need.

But don't give up on college altogether. There are other ways to do it. Just think about it later. You'll know when you are ready. As you say, you can go part time, take classes in the City, etc.

I wish you would not worry about burdening your family. You've said you've been supportive of others in the past. It's your turn to be a "burden." People actually like taking care of others. In fact, people who have a child or partner or a pet to take care of actually live longer than people who are all alone. Let them help you. Helping family is a joy.

It's weird how things happen. I hope I'm making the right decision, but I'm so afraid of tomorrow and hope I don't burden my gram. If it becomes apparent that they are disappointed in me and not happy with me, I'll leave them too. This is all so awkward and difficult.

My head feels awful, and I can't take tylenol. I don't know if it's because I took equate nighttime to sleep or because I'm so upset or what. I'm still so paranoid about overdosing the other night.

And this guy I used to be really close with but never talk to anymore reached out to me and made an effort to cheer me up and make sure I'm okay. He's the only person I know not making me feel horrible for doing this. The others are doing so unintentionally, but still..

I'm just so afraid of what everyone will think of me, and I'm afraid of them realizing how messed up I feel right now. I hope I can pull things together fast. I just wish people would outright accept and support my decision, but I know it doesn't work that way..

The people who are surprised by your decision will get over it. You are not living their life; you are living your own.

Good about the guy!

About your headache, it's hard to know why, but you are really stressed and you did a number on your body the other night. I'd tell you to go to the doctor, but I guess I'm thinking you won't go... If you start to feel worse, then get to a clinic or ER. What is equate?

PS. I'm probably going to be gone most of this weekend, leaving later today. Will check to see if you are still posting on Sunday night...

I'm being told everything from I'm fing up to they completely understand. I'm second guessing myself so bad, and I feel like crap I don't know what to do anymore..


Equate is for colds and fevers and pain. Gel capsules.

Right.. That's why you need Welbutrin. It will help you think clearer. That's what the problem is.

I can't stand this feeling. I feel like I can do no right and make no one happy. I don't want to be me. I don't want to be anything. I feel like I've fed everything up and it's too late. I don't even know how to live with myself and my decisions.

Do the doctor route please. My friend said that he had gone to numerous doctors and none could help him and I came along and suggested the drug Welbutrin and within 3 days he felt enormously better. Usually it's a lot longer to feel better.

You will feel better. The first step is getting there. I don't know any of your friends to tell them to drag you there. You need to go, and soon.

I'm trying now to stay because I can't handle this pressure. I don't know what to do or where to turn. Except I don't want to stay again, or more, because my mom has been into everything and more and more people are becoming aware that I'm having problems (that I'm considering dropping out). That makes staying even harder. I don't want that attention. I don't know what to do. I feel like I've lost control of this situation, and it's no longer in my hands. I feel like I've lost my chance at a first impression. I have no time to decide one of the biggest decisions I'll ever make.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by give2me1lemons

I can't stand this feeling. I feel like I can do no right and make no one happy. I don't wnat to be me. I don't want to be anything. I feel like I've fed everything up and it's too late. I don't even know how to live with myself and my decisions.

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Has someone said something to you to make you feel that way?

Your anxiety is palpable. But if you can just get through this period of difficulty, I think you'll find tomorrow is better. When are your family coming?

My sister and that guy (the 26 year old) have been basically telling me I'm fing up and I need a plan and I'm quitting too soon and just yelling at me. Now the 26 year old won't even talk to me. My sister keeps asking me questions I don't know the answer to and placing more pressure on me. I'm losing people left and right it seems.

They'll be here at ten or eleven am, but I don't know what I'm going to do..

I once had a therapist tell me to "cultivate ambivalence." I have found it really annoying, but sometimes it's the right answer. Basically he meant that instead of trying to force a decision, run away from it and then it will find you. Or at least that's what I have decided he meant. It's generally true.

Take your time. They think they are helping. They know you well, care about you, and probably worry that you'll regret this and want to spare you that. I really doubt they will abandon you for this decision. I'm encouraged that you seem to have so many people who really care about you.

For now, try to push everybody's opinions out of your mind and just don't think about what you'll do. The thing is that you can always change your mind. Whatever you decide will be okay and you don't HAVe to make any decision right now. The important thing is to get well.

My mom has been talking to that center that offers counseling to try and figure out options. They think this is easy, apparentally, rather than the usual suicide watch (dark humor there). They said there are thirty available beds and loopholes around the drop out the first week or be stuck with the bill policy. We'll see. I need to somehow surround myself with help and support, but I don't know if I'm going about it the right way at all. It's scary.

If I run from the college, it may not take me back.
I feel reckless in my quest for someone to lean on.





Also, how am I supposed to talk with anyone at the center if they are already familiar with my family..

First, you made an impulsive decision. Not good at all.

Cousleling isn't going to work by itself. Been there, done that.

Medically, I believe, and so do I believe that asking believes that you have a MEDICAL condition that needs to be addressed.

Until the medical issue is addressed, counseling will have no effect. Trust us on this.

So what do you think is wrong with me, medically? What are you getting at?

I am very mpulsive.

I'll leave you with this website: Mental disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

You're a candidate for anti-depresessants and I believe Welbutrin will be a good match. These drugs modify brain chemistry/communication.

A neuropsychlogist can get to roots of major problems. Testing such as an MMPI and other tests can get to root of problems whether is be belittled by parents, emotionally abused by parents, whatever. Those tests run about $2K w/o insurance and take at least a day to do. Been there. Done that. The MMPI will take about 3 hours to do. It's a multiple choice test. About 400 questions.

Once you know what the problem is, you can begin to solve it.

Finally, I've struck a nerve. Been wanting to do that.

Neither of us is qualified to issue diagnoses. I think you are basically depressed and really anxious. I am not sure what KISS is thinking, but something along those lines. I think he has a point about the Wellbutrin, but I would not dismiss counseling so easily. I just mainly feel that you need to take the pressure off yourself and stop assuming everyone is judging you harshly. You frankly seem like a really neat person and you need to internalize that somehow. That you are OkAY. :) KISS is right, though, that the right antidepressant might make that a lot easier.

I don't know enough about you to feel like I have a sense of how deep this unhappiness goes or where it comes from. I am puzzled that you seem to have a loving family and people who like you and yet you seem afraid to lean on them or on others generally. It's like there's some trust issues.? Where does that feeling come from that having people help you is not okay? What do you think?

I am just a writer of biology textbooks, not a therapist or a psychiatrist. I just do this--why? I don't know, because it's cool to connect with people and feel like I made a tiny difference.

I read a question and I want to answer it, or I don't. I wanted to answer yours...

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Originally Posted by KeepItSimpleStupid

Testing such as an MMPI and other tests can get to root of problems whether is be belittled by parents, emotionally abused by parents, whatever. Those tests run about $2K w/o insurance and take at least a day to do. Been there. Done that. The MMPI will take about 3 hours to do. It's a multiple choice test. About 400 questions.

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I took one of those once and the psychologist told me it was "unscoreable" and I needed to take it over. (Does this mean I have no personality?) I actually answered every single question as honestly as I could. I refused to take it again and he got angry. I think he had issues. :)

Whatever you do, do not connect the dots that say I'm taking or need to take an anti-depressant because I'm depressed. It may or may not be the case that you are depressed.

I took the MMPI 3x. Once it was unscoreable too. I didn't find out why until I ed. I was told that I did not answer all the questions. An answer must be everywhere aparently for the test to be valid. I had a psychologist go over the raw scores. A diffeent one that administered the test. The guy that administered the test said the results were in the report. The raw score is only about 14 characters.

I can't remember when I started having trust issues. I tend to lean more on those who can't help or don't want to-probably because I subconciously know I won't actually have to act. I do want change and help, I'm just afraid of it.

I know that in school I'd struggle before I sought help. Teachers commented on that a lot. It's why I'm so horrible at math.

I know when I told the guy I liked (who actually reached out to me a little tonight) about my cutting, he pulled away from me.

I think my issues seeking help can be dated back to first grade, maybe kindergarten, to be honest. Would you consider that the same as trust issues?


I don't have $2000 to dish out, and you can't get a prescription without a diagnosis. I'm not great at communicating..

I've taken various online psych evaluations and always score high for anxiety and depression and a multitude of mental illnesses. Then again, I only take the tests when I'm not well. Sometimes I'm okay.. don't you have to always be not okay to have an illness? My problems generally seem enviromental; I just react strongly..

You don't need the $2K, so don't worry about it.

You don't need a dx to get a prescription.

Your general doctor may be willing to prescribe it. There is nothing magic or nasty to worry about. If your lucky and have a good relationship with your GP, consider getting it called in to a pharmacy nearby. There is a standard way to prescribe with incremental increases in dosages. Make sure you get the SR form. Not XL and not plain.

Bet I know why your horrible at math? You can't memorize, right?

If someone gave you verbal directions on the street would you have to write them down? Bet he answer is yes?

Any visual memory?

Memory by repitition or like how you memorize how to ride a bike?

Confiding early in a relationship is going to be troublesome. No one wants a SO with a mental illness.

I think we figured out the anxiety and depression. Usually these behaviors are transient in most people and they go away on their own. There re-current with you, but not continuous.

Wellbutrin will help the reacting strongly.

Something is hidden with the trust issue. I'm thinking upbringing, parents and emotional abuse. A promise(s) that was made and never kept.

I don't think you have to take expensive tests. Any doctor can prescribe an antidepressant, although sometimes I think they are too cavalier about it. Anyway, I suspect it would not be hard for you to get a prescription. But if you do go that route, I hope you will do it only if you will be in daily touch with someone who knows you well who can decide if it's making you worse, which antidepressants occasionally do. It's not quite rare enough to be something you can just not worry about it.

Well, okay, it happened to me. I took an antidepressant for a week and was ready to off myself and I wasn't really even depressed when I started taking it. The doctor gave it to me for back pain. I got scared and stopped taking it. I had kids; I couldn't be feeling like that. They say that only happens in teenagers, but I was 48 or so. (I like to think that means I have a youthful brain.)

Anyway, the guy who got scared off. I think most people are afraid of the idea of cutting. I don't know much about it myself. I can sort of half understand doing it. I think I read that it releases endorphins, so you feel better for a while. Yes? I never know if it's better to conceal things like that from people. I generally like honesty, but maybe there's a limit there...

I don't know if feeling like you have to do everything yourself is about trust. When you describe it the way you did, it sounds different. More like maybe your folks were too distracted to pay much attention when you were little and you felt on your own too early?

But then leaning on those who can't help, or don't really want to, is an interesting twist. Have to think about that.

KISS, I'm not good at learning from verbal instruction only. I have to see things written down. So what does that mean?

Lemons, did you have any really difficult times as a kid? You mentioned that your father was depressed. Is this related to anything that happened or just kind of constitutional? Being around a depressed person can make you feel depressed. And you may be more responsive to stress than average. A lot of people are like that. It might well have to do with something that happened to you when you were younger.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by asking

But then leaning on those who can't help, or don't really want to, is an interesting twist. Have to think about that.

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Easy one. Fear of change. This little school thing is really fear. She want to go back to where she feels safe.

But, essentially you have to stay to overcome the fear and you need a little help (medication) to allow you to do that.

Okay, that makes sense.

But, on the other hand, wouldn't it be safer to get stabilized before starting this new and scary thing (school)? I mean safer as in not cutting and taking lethal doses of Tylenol...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by asking

KISS, I'm not good at learning from verbal instruction only. I have to see things written down. So what does that mean??

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It means we are handicapped in a way, Memory has components of visual, verbal and kinestetic. We have to recognize and find ways to utilize other ways to memorize.

Those that have photographic memory can get through medical school with a breeze. Perform operations with ease the first few times.

The verbal guys can be good Lawyers.

The Kinestetic guys might have good logic and intuitive skills, but can't pass tests very well at all and thus flunk out of college even though they are smart.

Teachers, I believe, don't realize this.

Get the idea.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by asking

But, on the other hand, wouldn't it be safer to get stabilized before starting this new and scary thing (school)? I mean safer as in not cutting and taking lethal doses of Tylenol...

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I'm going to say no. Like I said, make the courses something you can definitely handle, even if it's not what everyone else does.

Home will be a negative influence. One has to be able to stay focused and occupied not belittled.

She told the roommate off, who knows if it was in the best way, but that's a start. That's part of learning how to deal with the new situation.