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I love them an my friends more so then myself .if any committed suicide id be horrified depressed empty hollow upset an more
My fathers dad killed himself by hanging in the garage and I've been studying death methods an how to do suicide the right way
I don't have a right to end what God gave me its for him to decide when I go and I'm sort of crying an overwhelmed by all of me an my life an the kindness you two are giving me I'm usually the one doing what your doing but woud get taken advantage of a lot .alright a week deal
I usallyhave good memory but if I don't post your both welcome to message me by email(pm for it ) or on here

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Giving up is easy.

Sweetie, do you care about your parents? I know that they can be harsh, and they give you grief, but do you care about them? Do you love them?

Do you love your friends?

Put yourself in their shoes. How do you think they'd feel if you ended your life? How would you feel if one of them decided on suicide?

You mentioned God before, you said that God must have sent me. Well, do you think that God gave you this life so that you could end it?

He gave you hardships because he knew you could handle them. He gave you mountains to climb, rivers to cross, because he had faith in you. God gave you this life, is it right for you to say that you don't want it?

Once it's done, that's it. There's no saying "oops, I made a mistake, I want to take it back", when you decide to end things. There's no do over.

Do one thing for me. Give it a week. Surely you can stand another week. During that week I want you to post here every day. I'm going to ask you to do a few things for me. I'm also going to expect an update every day. So, can you give me one week? Just 7 days. Seven days is nothing.

Will you do that for me? Seven days. Let's see if we can change things. At least give me a chance to help. Deal?

I'm just staring at the pills now in my hand

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternalFire

i love them an my friends more so then myself .if any committed sucide id be horrified depressed empty hollow upset an more
my fathers dad killed himself by hanging in the garage and ive been studying death methods an how to do sucide the right way
i dont have a right to end what God gave me its for him to decide when i go and im sorta crying an overwhelmed by all of me an my life an the kindness u two are giving me im usally the one doing what ur doing but woud get taken advantage of alot .alright a week deal
i usallyhave good memory but if i dont post ur both welcome to message me by email(pm for it ) or on here

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Giving up is easy.

Sweetie, do you care about your parents? I know that they can be harsh, and they give you grief, but do you care about them? Do you love them?

Do you love your friends?

Put yourself in their shoes. How do you think they'd feel if you ended your life? How would you feel if one of them decided on suicide?

You mentioned God before, you said that God must have sent me. Well, do you think that God gave you this life so that you could end it?

He gave you hardships because he knew you could handle them. He gave you mountains to climb, rivers to cross, because he had faith in you. God gave you this life, is it right for you to say that you don't want it?

Once it's done, that's it. There's no saying "oops, I made a mistake, I want to take it back", when you decide to end things. There's no do over.

Do one thing for me. Give it a week. Surely you can stand another week. During that week I want you to post here every day. I'm going to ask you to do a few things for me. I'm also going to expect an update every day. So, can you give me one week? Just 7 days. Seven days is nothing.

Will you do that for me? Seven days. Let's see if we can change things. At least give me a chance to help. Deal?

It sounds like you have a great attitude after all. I want to find out more about your plans for the future. I might be able to help.

Please put the pills back into the bottle. Are you supposed to take one a day?

Quote:

I love them an my friends more so then myself .if any committed suicide id be horrified depressed empty hollow upset an more
My fathers dad killed himself by hanging in the garage and I've been studying death methods an how to do suicide the right way
I don't have a right to end what God gave me its for him to decide when I go and I'm sort of crying an overwhelmed by all of me an my life an the kindness you two are giving me I'm usually the one doing what your doing but woud get taken advantage of a lot .alright a week deal
I usallyhave good memory but if I don't post your both welcome to message me by email(pm for it ) or on here

Why do you think that WG and I are posting? We could have walked away. We didn't. It would have been easier. I wouldn't have gotten to know you, and I wouldn't have had to care about you if I hadn't posted. That would be a lot easier on my heart. Now, if something happens to you, it will affect me. It will hurt me, because I now care about you. That's how I am.

So why did I post? Why am I still posting? Because you need help, and you're a human being. I can't walk away from that. Now we're on page 5 of this post and I've gotten to know you, so I definitely can't walk away. I would be sad if you were gone from this Earth and I don't even know you, not like your family and friends do.

So, can you imagine what your friends and family would feel if you did this? You posted how you would feel. Well, they'd feel the same way. They'd spend their whole lives wondering what they did wrong, what they missed, how they could have prevented it. They'd blame themselves. It's hard enough to lose someone to an illness, or an accident, but to lose someone to suicide is the worst pain imaginable. I've been through both. My parents died 6 months apart from cancer. My Uncle hung himself in the basement, and left a note on his teenage daughters bed. She's now in her late 40's and has never forgiven him for what he put her through. She struggles with it every day. She loves him and hates him. She suffers because of his choice.

You promised me a week. So let's start with that. Right now I'd like you to put the pills down, and get some rest. Tomorrow when you wake up, go for a walk. When you're out on your walk I want you to look around. Look at this world. Look at the snow (if you have snow) look at the animals that have to survive through winter, look at the people you pass say hi, look at the trees that are dormant now, waiting for spring so they can come alive again. Look at the sky. Look all around you. There's life all over the place. There are wonderful things right under your nose that you're missing. Look at them.

When you get home, write about what you felt, what you saw when you went for your walk. Write about it here.

The pills in your hand, the ones you're staring at, they're a man made thing. Man has made many things that can destroy us if we let them. You believe in God, you mentioned Him. Go see what he's created. You'll get a lot more help from things that God created then you'll ever get from the things that mankind has.

We have a deal. One week. But you have to try. If you open your eyes, your heart, and your mind, I have a feeling that in a week you'll see things differently. But you have to try, otherwise it's pointless.

Now get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Please put the pills back into the bottle. Are you supposed to take one a day?

Well I do want to study technology and want a job working with people an teach myself everyday and I plan to make a diffrence for mentallyill people I'm an advocate for them and ijust want to be in arts also put pills away

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternalFire

well i do want to study technology and want a job working with people an teach myself everyday and i plan to make a diffrence for mentallyill people im an advocate for them and ijust want to be in arts also put pills away

What sort of arts are you interested in? Acting? Singing? Painting? Other?

My ex is hating me because I broke up with him sayiin after I did he doesn't love me or care an I had broken up because I wasn't ready for a relationship an I felt wrong thing

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternalFire

well i do want to study technology and want a job working with people an teach myself everyday and i plan to make a diffrence for mentallyill people im an advocate for them and ijust want to be in arts also put pills away

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

What sort of arts are you interested in? Acting? Singing? Painting? Other?

Dancing .singing .dancing lol
And I sort of like acting I can put an image in someone's mind so cearly from words and I'm an empath . But dance is my way of telling stories through my body . I'm european american was adopted from Bulgaria at age 71/2

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternalFire

my ex is hating me because i broke up with him sayiin after i did he doesnt love me or care an i had broken up because i wasnt ready for a relationship an i felt wrong thing

Don't worry about how he feels. He's upset, and hurting, which is why he said those things. But you made the decision based on how you felt. You can't force yourself to be in love with someone. When you meet the right guy, you'll be ready for a relationship. That's when you'll know he's the right guy. :)

He's not your concern. He has to deal with this on his own.

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternalFire

dancing .singing .dancing lol
and i sorta like acting i can put an image in someones mind so cearly from words and im an empath . but dance is my way of telling stories through my body . im european american was adopted from Bulgaria at age 71/2

I'm European too, German, moved to Canada shortly before 4 years of age. :)

I have a feeling that dance is really your passion. You mention it a lot. Have you ever taken dancing lessons?

My passion is painting and writing. I took 4 years of ballet and 2 years of Jazz, but sadly I have two left feet. I'm not a dancer at all. Acting, I'm too shy on the stage. I know, it's a shock, I'm not at all shy on this site, but in real life, getting on stage in front of others scares me to death.

If you ever heard me sing you'd probably cry. When I'm in the shower, or in the car, I think I'm great. My kids and others have a different opinion. ;)

[took two ativan might add benedryl
QUOTE=InternalFire;3366476]dancing .singing .dancing lol
And I sort of like acting I can put an image in someone's mind so cearly from words and I'm an empath . But dance is my way of telling stories through my body . I'm european american was adopted from Bulgaria at age 71/2[/QUOTE]

Stick with the two Ativan. Benadryl won't do a thing to help.

What time is it where you live?

Been in dance since age 8
@n been competiting ever since an for fun to

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

I'm European too, German, moved to Canada shortly before 4 years of age. :)

I have a feeling that dance is really your passion. You mention it a lot. Have you ever taken dancing lessons?

I'm CST time here its 7:57 pm now
An fighting with my ex an dealing with another friendighs death sounds peaceful like pink satin in the low wind

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Stick with the two Ativan. Benadryl won't do a thing to help.

What time is it where you live?

It's raining here in Chicago. How is your weather?

I'm glad to meet a fellow european :) @n I thinkits neat

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

I'm European too, German, moved to Canada shortly before 4 years of age. :)

I have a feeling that dance is really your passion. You mention it a lot. Have you ever taken dancing lessons?

Quote:

I'm glad to meet a fellow european @n I thinkits neat

It is neat. :)

There aren't many Europeans here, even less Canadians, or so it seems.

So I'm in two minorities. ;)

I'm 4th generation 100% German. Does that count?

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternalFire

been in dance since age 8
@n been competiting ever since an for fun to

Okay, maybe I shouldn't compete with you on the Wii. You'd kick my butt! :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'm 4th generation 100% German. Does that count?

It does. But I'm 100% German too. Wait... am I? My dad was Hungarian, moved to Germany during the second world war. He was a young tot when he moved, only remembered a few bad words in Hungarian when he grew up. He was raised German.

I was born in Germany. That makes me 100%, right?

I speak fluent German. Surely that counts for something?

So we have 3 Europeans on this thread. Way to go Europeans! :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

So we have 3 Europeans on this thread. Way to go Europeans! :)

I'm 4th generation German-American, actually? Am I still okay? I live in the same town (coincidentally) where my family got started in America.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'm 4th generation German-American, actually? Am I still okay? I live in the same town (coincidentally) where my family got started in America.

You're okay. I live in the same town that my parents settled to also. The very same town/Hamlet. In fact, it's the largest Hamlet. :)

I see that our friend has signed off. I'm hoping that she gets some rest, and comes back tomorrow to update us.

I do have a suggestion for her. She likes to help people, so why not help people on this site? We have tons of people asking questions. I'm sure she could answer a few. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'm 4th generation 100% German. Does that count?

Ye

I'm on was trying to burn cals
An trying to hurt me now

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

You're okay. I live in the same town that my parents settled to also. The very same town/Hamlet. In fact, it's the largest Hamlet. :)

I see that our friend has signed off. I'm hoping that she gets some rest, and comes back tomorrow to update us.

I do have a suggestion for her. She likes to help people, so why not help people on this site? We have tons of people asking questions. I'm sure she could answer a few. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternalFire

im on was trying to burn cals
an trying to hurt me now

What can we do to help with that? Like, to help you STOP!!

I feel like I can't stop though ni matter what maybe ill take more meds

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What can we do to help with that? Like, to help you STOP!!!!!

I need to be dead
Soon

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternalFire

i feel like i can't stop though ni matter what maybe ill take more medsQUOTE=Wondergirl;3366522]What can we do to help with that? Like, to help you STOP!!!!!

Quote:

I need to be dead
Soon

What purpose would that serve? You say you want to hep people. How will you help them if you decide to die? You say you're the voice for mental illness. Do you want that voice to be "give up, there's no hope?" or do you want the people suffering through the same thing you are, to have hope, to keep trying?

You can't help people and destroy them at the same time. If you're their voice, then you have to find your voice. Dying won't accomplish that.

Quote:

I need to be dead soon

Why?

I need to pay my water bill, otherwise I won't have water. I need to take my children to school, otherwise they won't get an education. I need to shovel my driveway, otherwise someone will slip and fall.

Suicide is a choice, not a need.

All right your right won't help with who I am an want to do I really want people to know there's hope an all well I won't die now

But hard to stop si now

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

What purpose would that serve? You say you want to hep people. How will you help them if you decide to die? You say you're the voice for mental illness. Do you want that voice to be "give up, there's no hope?" or do you want the people suffering through the same thing you are, to have hope, to keep trying?

You can't help people and destroy them at the same time. If you're their voice, then you have to find your voice. Dying won't accomplish that.

I have nothing to offer an I'm not worthy or anything but it's a choice not a need my chouice

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Why?

I need to pay my water bill, otherwise I won't have water. I need to take my children to school, otherwise they won't get an education. I need to shovel my driveway, otherwise someone will slip and fall.

Suicide is a choice, not a need.

I know it's hard. I know that feeling well. You're in a hole right now. That hole is dark, and cold, and sad. You feel like you'll never get out of that hole, that this is it, this is your life. But that's not true.

The hole isn't real. The hole is in your mind. Your mind is a powerful thing, which is why you feel like you're stuck in that hole. But let go, realize that the hole isn't real, and you can get out.

Instead of a hole, put yourself in a meadow. You have the power to do that, because the hole isn't real. So pluck yourself out of it and go to the place you want to be, the meadow. You don't have to die to do that.

If you choose death, that's when the hole becomes real. That's when you no longer have the choice to get out of it. That's when you're stuck, because there's no turning back from that. Right now you have the choice, you can go to the meadow, or the dance studio, or to any place that makes you happy. Once you end it, you're in the hole forever.

You can't help anyone, much less yourself, if you're stuck in the hole forever.

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternalFire

i have nothing to offer an im not worthy or anything but its a choice not a need my chouice

It is your choice. But you could choose to live, to get yourself help, to find a reason to live.

You promised me a week. Are you going back on your promise?

You think you have nothing to offer. What about your desire to help others? That's worthy, and that's something.

Of course you have something to offer! Just your own experience and how you are trying not to make bad choices is a lot to offer. That's priceless to someone else who is struggling, to hear it from someone who has been there.

Not going back on it its just hard
And to relize there more to live that things will get better and that I can be helped

I stopped si now

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

It is your choice. But you could choose to live, to get yourself help, to find a reason to live.

You promised me a week. Are you going back on your promise?

You think you have nothing to offer. What about your desire to help others? That's worthy, and that's something.

Thank you!

Do you drive and have use of a car?

Quote:

Originally Posted by InternalFire

not goin back on it its just hard
and and to relize there more to live that things will get better and that i can be helped

i stopped si now

Good.

I think you should try and get some rest. Let's talk again tomorrow.

You can turn this around, but you have to try. Without you trying, putting in the effort, there's no hope. I think that you want to try. I don't think you're ready to give up. You're just at the end of your rope, but you can tie a knot and hang on. We can help you climb it. :)

So get to bed, sleep. I bet things look better tomorrow, even without you trying. Just imagine what you can accomplish if you actually try? :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Thank you!

Do you drive and have use of a car?

I have my drivers permit just need to take road test .ao took4 ativan and 2 benedrylys