It's not like I ever had a choice... I just don't know anymoreQuote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
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It's not like I ever had a choice... I just don't know anymoreQuote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Oh just so you know I really don't have a choice about exercise, I have to do it every morning. I usually run about 4-5 miles a day, I am top physical shape and I feel like crap when I am done.Quote:
Originally Posted by KBC
It's not the end of the world,you know.Quote:
Originally Posted by spiralbound
I have dealt with depression(and bi-polar disorder) for most of my adult life.I wasn't diagnosed or medicated for many,many years though.
Since I got the help,my life has had it's ups and downs,just like anyone else's.. I am human after all.
This is a time for life decisions,do you want help?
You have many choices. Do you care about yourself (like we do) to make some good ones?Quote:
Originally Posted by spiralbound
I could use some more information,what is it you are having to give up on if depression is diagnosed?
Perhaps there are 'alternatives' to being labeled as depressed, it sounds like the military life has something to do with this?
No I would rather die than get help for something like this.
They will take my aviation slot if I get diagnosed, and I will lose my job with CIA when I get out.
So your expectations when you wrote in to here was what?Quote:
Originally Posted by spiralbound
Back in post #1, went over it twice, "If I can find this life mentor to help me make it through life then I need some help finding one"
And a mentor will do what for you? You've already said you refuse to talk on the phone. You said female psychologists were worthless.Quote:
Originally Posted by spiralbound
Fine, whatever, put words in my "posts" (mouth). Since when did saying two women treated me like **** when I tried to get help become "all women", and I never said anything about refusing to talk on the phone, I just said it would be a problem. But don't worry wondergirl you won't have to worry about me any more I already drank a 5th of vodka with a pill concoction that I already took, and to finish things off I will go shoot myself now. I am sorry I wasted your time and you didn't get paid for it.
So it's my fault?Quote:
Originally Posted by spiralbound
And you haven't even given KBC a chance to help.
Sorry to burst bubbles,but do you understand the rigorous testing they do for CIA,or ANY high stress positions?
I think a life coach would only tell you the same thing we are, it's time to rethink your goals for work in the future.
No way would you pass the testing with the attitude you have now,and the depression/self esteem/isolation personality just isn't fit for government work.
Once you accept that you can then move forward with a new goal in life,something not so high pressure,one where you can just be you,not what you think others think you should be.
Just a note here,Quote:
Originally Posted by spiralbound
Relying on someone else to make you happy,functional,etc.. is called co-dependency.
If you aren't happy in your own skin and seem to be fighting all those around you who are truly trying to assist you through this tough time, how could any 'life coach' help?
It requires you to be honest,open and above all,willing to accept not only help,but criticism,(be t from females or males),to learn coping skills,to mature beyond the bounds you are stuck in today.
Are you willing to do this?
No there is no help for me and once again you are putting words in my mouth, I never said it was your fault, I can understand it sounded like it, but I am sorry for wasting your time, I will be in a coma in around 45min to an hour. KBC already posted what he was going to say. I was a little angry that you took me out of context originally, that's why I used that wording. But it is in no way your fault. It's just to late for me now, I made my decision. I was always told I could achieve my dreams now that I can't I refuse to be held down, I chose death rather than losing my freedom because my body is ****ed up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Of course, there's help for you. You sound like Scarlett O'Hara. Stick your finger down your throat and throw up that concoction.Quote:
Originally Posted by spiralbound
I don't know who Scarlett O'Hara is, and I actually feel good now that I know I am going to die, your going to fail at getting me to change my mind.
OK,I guess this thread can be closed then?
Yea close the tread we are done here.
EVERYBODY knows who Scarlett is!!Quote:
Originally Posted by spiralbound
So you won't give us a chance to help you.
Thank you for adding carlos.Quote:
Originally Posted by carlosmvp23
Can you please use capital letters at the start of words and lower case for the rest of the words, we do not do chat speak here.
Thank you again.
Spiral bound,
I don't know what you expected in an online forum with complete strangers. Addressing the serious issues you are facing is beyond what anonymous people can do, no matter how well intentioned.
You are in serious trouble here, and if you are actually taking pills with booze, and intending to end your life, please call 911. Please. A few seconds to press those numbers, and you will be on your way to feeling better. You don't need to do anything else except concentrate on getting to a phone, and making that call.
Put everything else out of your mind, and concentrate on undoing what you have done- right now. You have options, there is hope, you can work through this, just make the call.
Your history has gone on far too long for any of us to properly address, assess, or treat you. Speaking with a Psychiatrist and being assessed is a must. That is the only way to get out of this situation you are in.
Please, get help immediately.
You finally have the chance to accomplish something big in your life (with our help of course :D), and you're going to dump us??Quote:
Originally Posted by spiralbound
Would you rather have a chocolate caramel ice cream cone? I'm thinking of making one for myself. Want one?
I'll address the last paragraph first - I'm not the person who suggested religion. I'm not saying it's a good, bad or indifferent idea. I'm saying it wasn't my suggestion.Quote:
Originally Posted by spiralbound
As far as being active military, didn't you say this in June 2009: "I am already active duty, I am required by law to disclose all hospital visits but that doesn't mean I will. As for your other comments I am an officer ..." The question at that time was whether someone who is a better "solider" than others would lie to the military about health issues.
There have been multiple discrepancies in your various threads and I, for one, am having a difficult time sorting the truth, half truths and totally untrue.
You've posted your mental health problems several times. You've been given suggestions, none of which are acceptable to you for one reason or another.
I would suggest that you post the truth and let someone with some experience try to help you again. The same people who are attempting to help you now came to the conclusion that you are a pathological liar in June 2009. I'm not sure.
I've been sucked into this scenario before -
Honestly the safety of others in the school and most certainly in the military are at risk if someone with these issues does not seek professional help.
It shows a direct lack of character and most certainly not someone I want in my military and not someone I want put in a high stress area of the military.
Time of "POOR ME" is over, you need a kick in the rear to either get help or at least get out of the program you are in.
( well if you keep failing that will be the easy part since you will not get to stay in the program if you keep fialing)
So get help, use a fake name and pay cash, the important thing is to get help. Once you are thinking straight, the rest will take care of itself.
As a Air Force officer ( retired, reserve) and as someone who worked for the Justice Dept, you will never progress into high risk and security areas that require levels of mental health evals. And most likely your behavior once in AIT and training will be vary obvioius to the CO whose job it is to cut people who are not making it.
Also to be honest I feel a real obligation to the military, and honestly to you to see that you get enough help.
A copy of this and other posts will be forwarded Monday morning to the Commander of ROTC programs so they can perhaps at least use more personal force to help make you get the help you need.
Had to spread the rep Chuck, but I also agree. There is a clear consequence to his actions and behaviour on others- military, or family, or whoever is in his life. Whatever that life may be.
Maybe he will come back and face the challenge of separating what's real and truthful, to what is not.
Frankly I feel the OP is not fit for the Military. I sure would be very uneasy if he had to go into a war zone with his attitude. If he doesn't
Care anything about himself, he sure as heck wouldn't care about fellow soldiers. You are whiner and everything you have written is "me, me, me"
So you don't like the way you feel? You don't want to change and the only reason you don't is you like being miserable. You hate your background and for the life of me I don't know why. The Mennonites are good people.
You whine and you cry and you say you want to stay in the Military. Just in case you don't know ths... Strong People are the ones who make it in the service. You don't want help, you throw any mention of any kind of help back at anyone who gives you advice. You say you are going to kill yourself? Cowards do that. Cowards who can't handle anything if it's not the way they want it to be. It takes GUTS and COURAGE to stay here and face life.
Go to a Military Hospital and see some of our troops who are lying there.
That's guts. They may be amputees or worse, but they are so glad to be alive. Ask a mom or dad who have lost a child in the war how they feel about life. It's precious. You do not need to be in the Military because you are coward and I doubt you'd put yourself in harms way for anyone.:mad:
And I wonder when people post these "suicide" threats if they realize that caring people are on this Board, people who then have trouble sleeping, worrying and wondering if they said the right thing, the wrong thing?
OP should be ashamed of himself but I get the feeling he is so out of touch with reality that he's not.
The opposite is also true. When someone cries "Wolf" again and again, we stop caring, and that's not good for him OR for us. Spiralbound wasn't interested in our offers of help or even in a chocolate caramel ice cream cone. That certainly said something.Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
Hmm. I'm trying to figure out how this suddenly became the responsibility of everyone here when you came here already this way. It wasn't anyone's responsibility to change your mind, only to try (keyword: TRY) to help you find a way to change your own mind. It's OK to need other people, and OK to need someone else to help you find your way. It's even OK to have to rely on other people sometimes. But none of those people are the cause of the problems you came into this with.Quote:
your going to fail at getting me to change my mind.
I've had plenty of problems in my own life, including having to accept "mental" problems that were actually physical and made me feel I wasn't in control. (I have anxiety issues, cause by something chemical and also genetic, and it took me a long time before I could openly say that to other people.) Anxiety can cause depression as well. So I actually understand a lot of this.
But you kind turned me off with that last statement. Most people who announce they are now killing themselves aren't really looking to die, and most people who really just want to die aren't busy telling other people that they failed - they're usually turned very into themselves.
So I for one, think you are either lying... or that you announced your suicide cause you really want saved - but we're on the other end of a computer. If you really did want saved, you need to be on the phone.
I don't think he'll be back. I think he's too mad at the advice.
I'm sorry, but I really have to address a couple of things here.
Regardless of how "good" any group of people might be, it doesn't mean that it works for everyone or that someone isn't going to hate it. You sound like you're having a hard time accepting that. Every atheist I've never known had a religious upbringing.Quote:
You hate your background and for the life of me I don't know why. The Mennonites are good people.
People who commit suicide are not cowards. They are people who are so down in a black hole somewhere, a place where coward and courage don't really have any meaning anymore. People who always threaten to commit suicide but never do anything about it might be cowards. People who talk about it a lot generally just really need help, but it doesn't make them cowards.Quote:
You say you are going to kill yourself? Cowards do that. Cowards who can't handle anything if it's not the way they want it to be. It takes GUTS and COURAGE to stay here and face life.
People who are serious are just in a place that no one else will ever understand, so it's hard to say things like that about them. They are in a place that has gone far beyond something you could call "cowardly." Just like calling them "selfish" - they're totally into themselves, yes - but it's because they're just off in a place where other people just have no meaning anymore. Words like "selfish" and "coward" just really don't exist there.
And they are in a place where they need a hand to help them back out of the hole, and not a kick in the butt that throws them back into it. (Of course, you do have to know the difference between the serious ones, and the ones trying to get attention.)
This particular person may be full of it, I don't know, and I kind of think some things don't make sense here. But someone who seriously wants to be dead will just take that as a big kick in the butt, back into the hole they're in.
It's extremely difficult to kill oneself. There's a huge, huge gap between no longer wanting to live with your life the way it is, and wanting to be dead. Dead is so - permanent. And someone has to be really, really, really down in a horrible, dark place before they would ever take that final, permanent, step and actually kill themselves. It's not exactly an easy thing to do, even when you're way, way deep into the hole.
Except for the Warden in Shawshank redemption - he was a coward cause it was easier than being arrested. But that's a totally different type of situation.
Love that movie. My friend committed suicide and she had never uttered the word in all the years I knew her. You are right some people who are always talking about it seldom do it. Now the warden really was a coward.Quote:
Originally Posted by morgaine300
I think he'll be back. This isn't the first time he's come back with the same issue. I doubt it will be the last.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitkat22
To the OP. We can only help those willing to help themselves, and to be brutally honest, this is a question and answer site, not a hospital, not a mental health facility, and not the suicide hotline.
We are more than willing to help, but when each suggestion is shot down, what else are we supposed to do? You can only say "get help" so many times, and that's really all we can offer.
I'm sorry that you're going through all of this, but you're the only one that can get up, pick up the phone and get the help you need. We can only type, that's all. We have no special powers and we can't magically fix your problems. At some point in your life you have to choose to fight for yourself, you have to choose to get the help you need. If you're not willing to do that, there's nothing we can do for you.
I wish you luck. I hope that you finally realize that you need professional help, and I hope you get it.
I came in here way late and I haven't digested all the discussion between your early posts and now.
I recognize that all religions aren't the same as mine, but in mine you don't go to heaven as a maybe yes/maybe no Christian, but not at random. You must accept Christ and believe in Him before you die.
I wouldn't roll the dice and hope for the best on that one.
Depression can definitely be treated (been there-done that!)
The right religion can help too. We are in the process of finding a new one after 50+ years in one of the major ones. The old one morphed (nobody asked our opinion about it) into something we couldn't support.
Best wishes to you.
I think about the young and older men and woman who have died in wars
and I cannot for the life of me figure you out. Vietnam Veterans who came home and were spat on and ridiculed and yet, you ask any of them and most would say I'd do it again. WWII, Korea, Persion Gulf and this war going on now, brave men and woman who gave everything they had ,only to be sent home in a Flag draped coffin. How much they had too live for. One of our "youngsters" here who died in this war a couple of years ago was the music minister and was looking forward to making the youth choir the best around here.he died three weeks before he was supposed to come home.
My son is a soldier and he is a very proud and wonderful young man. He's been over there several times. He is the best father and husband and son I could have ever asked for. I don't think I would want you watching his back. I don't think you'll come back to address all these posts, that's the kind of person you are and you probably want us to feel guilty thinking maybe you've killed yourself. I don't feel guilty. We all tried to help you and if you did committ suicide you won't be reading this anyway.
People who are dead set on taking their lives already have a mindset and no matter what we have said.. we couldn't have changed your mind anyway. I hope you get help. Nobody is going to come and drag you to see a doctor or a shrink. You have to make choices and I'm hoping you choose to leave the Military for your sake and every person enlisted. You think about this if you're still with us, How much value do you place on a human life? You're a disgrace to every man and woman in this Country who have served and are serving in the Military. Shame on you for being such a quitter.
Thread closed.
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