I don't pray anymore never really did
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I don't pray anymore never really did
Also, God tells us many things by the way that things are and happen.
If you look deep down inside of yourself and ask God for an answer as to how you might best serve Him, you will eventually receive an answer. It must always be God's Will that is done, not our own.
What was the feeling that you had when you were at the beach with your kids, please?Quote:
Originally Posted by britt123
Also, would you like to know my most pleasant memory of a place?
I am not real religious and don't plan to be
Yes to your happiest memory of a place
I agree with everything that you've stated above, Kitkat22!Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitkat22
I would just like to add, that God is never late, but does things at just the right time, whether we have faith or not.
God speaks to everyone!
Do you believe that there is a Higher Power of any kind? A person doesn't have to be religious to have that kind of belief as an understanding.Quote:
Originally Posted by britt123
I believe there is something out there but I don't put any faith in it sometimes seems random no offence but I am not looking to find Jesus or connect with God
It was 1984 and I was driving around in the city of Davenport, IA where I lived at the time. It was in the fall...Quote:
Originally Posted by britt123
I remember how awestruck that I was at the beauty of the colors in the changing leaves of the trees in the early evening sunlight.
When I need to get away, that's where I go in my mind.
I can't answer that Britt... I only know every trial I have ever gone through.. has turned out to be a blessing. "The just suffer with the unjust", I don't know what book of the Bible that comes from but it's true. We all question God.. but he will answer our questions someday.Quote:
Originally Posted by britt123
Suppose you do kill yourself and something happened to your wife and your children had no one? Would they go live with strangers? Grandparents? Suppose all of a sudden your wife decides she doesn't want the kids and you are gone? What then?
You won't hurt anyone but your children and yourself if you do this.
They'll have to live with the repercussions of your actions. Going to school and being known as the children whose father killed himself'
Children blame themselves when a parent does something like this and it scars them for life.
Guilt is a terrible thing when children carry it with them, even though it's not their fault. The children of suicide victims usually (not always) end up being in relationships that are harmful. Think about that and get some help with this. Look on a website and see how many children of suicide victims blame themselves. Tis is my opinion... Kit
Have you ever tried channeling your thoughts to what you think is out there?Quote:
Originally Posted by britt123
I'm not even writing about being in prayer or faith here.
Yes thank you for talking to me I have to go
Quote:
Originally Posted by britt123
Talk tomorrow?
Maybe even in a little while?
So many things to share...
My wife and kids left me in the early 1980's. It's a long story as to what happened before and after that and what I chose to become in more than one way...
I'm still alive, though! And, I'll choose to be that way!
An old saying: Life isn't a destination, but a journey...
Hello Britt.
I don't think anyone on the face of this earth has gotten away without having some pain in their life. We all handle it differently, but we've all been in pain at some point.
My worst moment was when my parents died. They both died of cancer 6 1/2 months apart. I felt much like you. I didn't want to live. I woke up each day and the only thought in my head was that they were gone, that they'd never be back. I didn't want to leave the house because every place had a memory of them. Even the house had too many memories, them coming for dinner, playing with my son, helping us build the fence, put in the grass.
I was lost. The only thing I could do to escape was sleep. In my dreams everything was all right. Reality wasn't.
For over a week I didn't shower, eat, or talk to my husband and child. All I did was sleep, or yell. I yelled at a God I no longer believed in, I yelled at the doctors (even though they weren't there), I yelled at myself, I yelled at my parents. I was so hurt, so angry, so lost.
One day, as I was laying in bed, my son came in. He was only 2 years old. He put his hand on my head, stroked my hair, and said "Mommy, I love you. Please don't die".
That's when I realized that my life was more then just mine. If I gave up, if I let go of this life, I would find some sort of peace, but I'd leave everyone I love in turmoil. I'd leave them feeling just like I felt, even worse, because my parents didn't choose to leave, they had no choice at all, but my life was in my hands, and what right did I have to take it when so many people would suffer if I did?
I'm not going to preach to you about God. I'd be the last one to do it. I'm not going to tell you that things will get magically better, that the sun will come out tomorrow, that the flowers will bloom, that doors will open, and that life will be peachy keen and happy. That's not where you're at right now and that's not what you need to hear, or want to hear. I can tell you that you're making a judgment based on how you feel now, based on feeling that this won't end. You're wrong to think it won't.
I'm actually going to tell you what I think your kids would tell you if you follow through with you you want to do. I actually have a pretty good point of reference for this, because my Uncle killed himself, left his 4 daughters behind. To this day, they still don't forgive him, and that was 29 years ago.
Your kids will say "Why did you do this to us?","What did we do?" "Did you not love us at all?" "We hate you for doing this","I will never forgive you", "You ruined my life", "You are so selfish. You only thought about yourself".
Sorry, can't sugar coat it, because that's the truth. It's unlikely that they'll ever forgive you. You'll find whatever peace you think will come from doing this, but your children, the people that love you, will never know peace again. Is that what you want for them? Do you want the pain you're feeling times 100 to be placed on your children? Is that what you want to leave them with?
Counseling works, but you have to go, you have to find the right counselor, you have to give it your all.
Are you hating me a bit right now? Good. Use that anger. Tell me off. Tell me that I'm mean for pointing out that you'll hurt your kids. Tell me anything, just post, and listen, and get the help you need.
Depression isn't permanent. Death is.
I'll be here. We all will. So use that. You said we're good people. You're right. The people on this site are the best people I've never met. Use that. That's why we're here.
Search back through my posts - my best friend killed herself some years ago. Left a baby and a 7 year old. The baby has no memory of her mother; the 7 year old to this day thinks it's because of something he did that upset her. The 7 year old blames the surviving father so he "lost" both his mother and his father.
We could all trade horror stories here. Some people have been run over by emotional trains and are still standing.
I'll go back to what I said originally - I wouldn't give your ex the satisfaction. The best revenge (if that is what you are after) is going on to happiness.
As far as remembering the happiest moments in your life - if they involved your wife and children, probably not good things to remember at this point. Can you go earlier than that? Does something in your life give you great satisfaction or happiness?
I consider myself spiritual, not religious. I was raised in a very strict church and I find that I turned from that religion and did not find another.
When my life as at its worst (and I don't recommend this to everyone) I found my dogs (and I know this sounds stupid!) to be immensely comforting. They depended on me, needed me, relied on me and kept me walking.
I'm not going to preach to you - you have to find what works for you.
I agree with making notes, making a list - put all the good things in one column and all the bad in another. Then come back and share.
You knew your wife was having an affair? How did you think it was going to end? Are you engaged in a battle for visitation?
Do you know why she had the affair? Is the marriage beyond repair? She won't be the first nor the last to leave and come back - and I'm not suggesting it's a good idea. I'm just asking (because I have a "legal mind" and hang out on the legal boards).
You said a lot of good stuff, but that statement was the best of all. Why give her the satisfaction? Why kill himself and thereby let her keep the power?Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
No one knows what you're going through but you. Frankly I think it's more honorable to live on this earth and go through the rough patches and the horrible times we all encounter and face them without giving up.
Your children are going to be the ones who hurt, not you. Your wife isn't going to care. If you have siblings or your folks are still alive they'll hurt.
It will only take you a moment or two to end it all... they'll suffer for the rest of their lives and that's a shame.
They already have a mother "with questionable "morals" and when you do this thing you're planning on doing...they'll be a total horrible mess.
Think of how your children feel and think about this, It's not all about you.There are little ones concerned".
I just noticed the "I have no money" language. What is the financial problem?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
I would also be interested in why you have no money.
And why "no friends"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Another good question? Britt..?
I think guys, we are delving to deep into his personal problems and you are not going to get answers to 'why no friends' 'why no money' because basically Britt is in a bad place right now and probably wants to 'feel' those things are real, and could be exactly far from it. Britt doesn't know he has friends. That's why he is here.
I say, here we go again. For some of the posters who mean well, we are digging and although meaning well for Britt's problems, it is not a good way to respond to him.
IMO tick
Britt come back and talk to us. OK... Let us know you are all right? Let us help.
I don't believe it. Britt is tougher than you give him credit for. He knows what we are up to. He'll be back. He's even beginning to like it here. He knows we will be honest with him.Quote:
Originally Posted by tickle
I hope he comes back...Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Quote:
Originally Posted by tickle
Sorry to disagree - if nobody cared, nobody would ask.
And if you mean me, yes, I mean well and, yes, I would like to know why he feels so alone and isolated. If asking him means he has to think about "it" and share some of his experiences, thus opening up, I think it's good.
Of course, I only minored in Psychology so who knows -
I have a master's in psych and have counseled real people. He'll be back. He knows we want to help. And this site has a good rep for helping people.Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
No psychology degree here, I just care, that's all I have to offer.
Britt, I really hope you come back, realize that we're all here eager to talk to you, to listen to you, to help you through this rough spot.
We can't help if you don't let us. Obviously you want the help, otherwise you wouldn't have reached out. Well we're here now, and we won't let it go. We care too much about what happens to you to simply walk away.
What do you have to lose by talking to us? Nothing. Why not give it a try?
We won't even force religion on him. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
(Alty -- you spelled "lose" correctly!! Most people mistakenly spell it "loose"!! Wow! I'm impressed!! )
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Britt.. No one is going to be judgmental. We care about you. If you want help... really want help... then you'll have to show us you do.. by letting us know what we can do to help you... Kit
Hello everyone sorry I left so abrubt last time didn't want to discuss religion I am coping so far, pills help I won't put anyone in a bad spot by discussing suicide I apologize for that
Oftentimes, getting "out of ourselves" and looking at ourselves in a different way is a way for healing to begin.
The problem lies though, in being able to get "out of ourselves".
Oftentimes also, the best mirror is the eye of a friend.
Just my thoughts for right now...
Everyone is so curious I am 48 years old from Canada not much education good with technology not trained in it though. No friends all our friends when I was married jumped ship and won't associate with me due to rumours my ex has been spreading. She is bad mouthing me to everyone kids friends everyone.
Most of my friends were through marriage and the men have stuck to their wife's because of my ex spreading rumours
I am so alone and beaten down don't think I have enough fight in me to carry on its hard
Its hard to find work I have slept in the park and in my truck many nights
It amazes me that strangers can be kinder than people who you thought were close to you
Certainly Canada has social services to help put a roof over your head plus food to eat, etc. I will PM some Canadian experts to wander over here to throw in their two cents.Quote:
Originally Posted by britt123
We were even talking about you and worrying about you when you weren't here. Now, tell us kind of where you are in Canada.Quote:
Originally Posted by britt123
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