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Originally Posted by progressincolor

Your answering from a personal expirence, understandably. Of course I don't know it all! I've got a lot of life in front of me, but this is my life right now. Of course I'm not a little angel I've never been.
Its already sunk in, I've known all this stuff for a while. How is this ruining my life? Please tell me you don't honestly think that.

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How can I not tell you I think that? I know that this could ruin your life. The odds aren't in your favor that there won't be consequences for having sex at your age.

Yes, you have a long life ahead of you, but will it be a good life? What happens if you get pregnant, or get an STD? Do you really think that it won't happen to you? Look around this site, read about all the teens coming here telling us they're pregnant, scared out of their minds, not knowing what to do, not knowing why, because they used protection.

As for knowing all this stuff, you don't know the half of it, but you won't realize that until you're older. I was you, only worse, so at least try to listen to what I'm saying even if you don't want to believe it.

I'm not here to lecture you, I'm here because I care what happens, believe it or not. Just the thought of what you are doing is burning a hole in my stomach, because I know the ending. I could tell you stories that would keep you up at night, don't let that become your life. Learn from my mistakes, you don't have to make them too.

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Originally Posted by starfirefly

what did you honestly hope to get out of this?

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Kind of just hoped someone would come along and take me seriously, although I also posted knowing I'd get answers such as these.

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Originally Posted by progressincolor

ahahah just to throw it out there..
Did I mention I'm bisexual?

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I think that this right here just showed your maturity level,. so I hope you all the best and good luck, cause you will need it

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Originally Posted by progressincolor

I'm only fourteen I know. I know I'm young. I know I know I know.
Lets just pretend I'm not getting pregnant.

Ah and about drugs taking over? I know enough of that already too.

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If you know so much,why have you come here to ask such questions?

You knew this wasn't going to be easy,you knew because you started this with the 'don't judge me' line.

You know a lot,but we know what not to do,and that is to encurage you in this venture.

I wish you could see the honest efforts of all in here trying to help you,but you seem to know too much to listen.

Take care of yourself,we'll still be here when something happens that you didn't know about,and then,we won't judge you,we will open our arms and try to help you then,too.

KBC

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

How can I not tell you I think that? I know that this could ruin your life. The odds aren't in your favor that there won't be consequences for having sex at your age.

Yes, you have a long life ahead of you, but will it be a good life? What happens if you get pregnant, or get an STD? Do you really think that it won't happen to you? Look around this site, read about all the teens coming here telling us they're pregnant, scared out of their minds, not knowing what to do, not knowing why, because they used protection.

As for knowing all this stuff, you don't know the half of it, but you won't realize that until you're older. I was you, only worse, so at least try to listen to what I'm saying even if you don't want to believe it.

I'm not here to lecture you, I'm here because I care what happens, believe it or not. Just the thought of what you are doing is burning a hole in my stomach, because I know the ending. I could tell you stories that would keep you up at night, don't let that become your life. Learn from my mistakes, you don't have to make them too.

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Thank you for caring, seriously it actually means a lot even through the internet. I know I don't know everything! I'm aware. I know things end up badly all the time, I'm just choosing not to live afraid. Being with him like this makes me happy in a strange sense if that's not to hard to believe.

Ah thanks for trying to be in my best interest.
But I'm stubborn and I think I'll have to do some research on my own.

The best to all of you.

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Originally Posted by progressincolor

Thankyou for caring, seriously it actually means a lot even through the internet. I know I don't know everything! I'm aware. I know things end up badly all the time, I'm just choosing not to live afraid. Being with him like this makes me happy in a strange sence if thats not to hard to believe.

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I do understand, I really do, that's also why I'm giving the advice that I'm giving.

I wish I could make you see, but I guess I can't. If you ever want to talk I'm here. I won't give you advice on how to enjoy sex, that would be illegal and immoral, but I am here if you just want to talk.

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Originally Posted by sGt HarDKorE

i know its not, i think its like 1/4 teen girls will get pregnant or something. But does that mean you have to do it? Is that what your trying to say? Like its the new cool thing to do?!? Or are you desperate for attention from your boyfriend? Im sorry but that is what comes to mind. Are you not strong enough to wait or just kiss?

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Its not the new cool, its not for attention. I get enough attention on a daily basis, I keep to myself nowadays. If I wanted to "just kiss" I would. But I don't want that..

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

I do understand, I really do, that's also why I'm giving the advice that I'm giving.

I wish I could make you see, but I guess I can't. If you ever want to talk I'm here. I won't give you advice on how to enjoy sex, that would be illegal and immoral, but I am here if you just want to talk.

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Thanks, seirously.

I think the only reason you are asking about this is to get a rise out of people it shows in you messages that you don't want to be taken seriously, you just want to try and get people all upset, I believe you find annoying people funny and you will not be taken seriously as a 14 year old non virgin

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Originally Posted by progressincolor

thanks, seirously.

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You're welcome. Just be careful, okay, at least do that, maybe then I can sleep tonight. ;)

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Originally Posted by starfirefly

i think the only reason you are asking about this is to get a rise out of people it shows in you messages that you dont want to be taken seriously, you just want to try and get people all upset, i believe you find annoying people funny and you will not be taken seriously as a 14 year old non virgin

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I don't find annoying people funny I'm not trying to get a rise. I'm standing up for myself because I'm well basically just stubborn.
Look, If I was looking for attention I wouldn't come online! I've got plenty on the outside world from normal human interactions. People interested in my life, and likewise.
Attention from people I don't know doesn't really do anything for me..
If you get my drift.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

You're welcome. Just be careful, okay, at least do that, maybe then I can sleep tonight. ;)

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Aha as careful as ever, Thank you.
Sleep well! :)

So why are you not asking them these questions?

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Originally Posted by progressincolor

ahahah just to throw it out there..
Did I mention I'm bisexual?

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Let me tell you a story okay? My niece is 19 now. But when she was your exact age, she had a boyfriend who she loved loved loved! Her friend had a boyfriend that she loved loved loved too! My niece (I'll call her Dana) never went anywhere without Kevin. She went out with her girlfriends, but Kevin was always around. Kevin was a great guy. I liked Kevin. They started having sex when they ironically were the same age as you and your boyfriend. Dana was up and down, did drugs occasionally, almost od'd a few times, got suicidal, starting drinking, and you name it. But if Kevin was around, she felt better, because of course she loved him and he loved her! Well then Dana decided that she was gay. Then she changed that and said she was bi. So they started to experiment with that.

Well, Kevin left Dana for her supposedly bi lover, Dana was crushed, and Kevin... the one that loved her so much, got the bi lover pregnant, and then left that 15 yr old with a baby. Dana still swore she was old enough and knew enough, was sexually and emotionally mature enough to handle everything. That is until I got a call from the hospital when her parents were out of town, asking me to rush to the hospital. She had taken a bunch of drugs, and they barely saved her. Do you think Kevin or her bi lovers were there?

Today, Dana has gone through a bunch of counselling to try and get over her sexual encounters with girls and boys. She looks back now and says she wants to smack herself in the head, and ask herself... what the hell was I thinking? She also told us, that there is probably nothing we could have said to her because she thought she was mature enough. Then she also told us... I wish you would have grabbed me kicking and screaming, and not let her do the things that she did.

Trust me, if there was ever a strong willed kid, it was Dana. So that is all we are all trying to get across to you. I know you THINK you are totally ready for all of this, but honestly sweetheart, you just really aren't. I know "the deed" is done, but that doesn't mean it can't be stopped, at least for the time being. Have respect for your body.

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Originally Posted by starbuck8

Let me tell ya a story okay?! My niece is 19 now. But when she was your exact age, she had a bf who she loved loved loved! Her friend had a bf that she loved loved loved too! My niece (I'll call her Dana) never went anywhere without Kevin. She went out with her girlfriends, but Kevin was always around. Kevin was a great guy. I liked Kevin. They started having sex when they ironically were the same age as you and your bf. Dana was up and down, did drugs occasionally, almost od'd a few times, got suicidal, starting drinking, and you name it. But if Kevin was around, she felt better, because of course she loved him and he loved her! Well then Dana decided that she was gay. Then she changed that and said she was bi. So they started to experiment with that.

Well, Kevin left Dana for her supposedly bi lover, Dana was crushed, and Kevin...the one that loved her so much, got the bi lover pregnant, and then left that 15 yr old with a baby. Jordyn still swore she was old enough and knew enough, was sexually and emotionally mature enough to handle everything. That is until I got a call from the hospital when her parents were out of town, asking me to rush to the hospital. She had taken a bunch of drugs, and they barely saved her. Do you think Kevin or her bi lovers were there?

Today, Dana has gone through a bunch of counselling to try and get over her sexual encounters with girls and boys. She looks back now and says she wants to smack herself in the head, and ask herself...what the hell was I thinkin? She also told us, that there is probably nothing we could have said to her because she thought she was mature enough. Then she also told us...I wish you would have grabbed me kicking and screaming, and not let her do the things that she did.

Trust me, if there was ever a strong willed kid, it was Dana. So that is all we are all trying to get across to you. I know you THINK you are totally ready for all of this, but honestly sweetheart, you just really aren't. I know "the deed" is done, but that doesn't mean it can't be stopped, at least for the time being. Have respect for your body.

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Is anyone listening to me? I know I'm young, I know I'm "reckless".
Thank you for sharing, that's terrible really it is.
I can be happy on my own though, without my boyfriend. I've got friends I've got a support system.
I've been to therapy, I've been confused by my emotions when it comes down to orientation and really I believe that for ME, I can have feelings for people for what's inside. I do have respect for myself, I'm not a "slut".

No one said you were a slut honey! Just trying to relate to you and help.

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Originally Posted by KBC

Well,that says a lot.

If you look at what I wrote,I never said anything about love.

I loved my teddy bear when I was 6.

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LMAO... I hope you used protection KBC :D

I want to wish you the best ProgressInColor! I really do. I can tell that for your age, you at least are mature enough to read what we had to say, and take it in stride, without getting all crazy like some of the other teens we have come across on the site. Hey, I was told to "shove it up my *bleep* today, because a young girl didn't like what I had to say to her. At least you stuck around to listen, and that's a good thing. Please try and consider what we are trying to say. We don't know everything, but some of us know a lot more than we should, if you know what I mean. So we do know where you're coming from. We are just trying to save you from all of the hurt. :)

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We don't know everything,

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We don't? I thought we did. Darnit, now I have to redo my business cards. :( ;)

Starby's right, at least you stuck around and listened, that's more than most people do.

We can only give you advice, we can't force you to take it, but darnit we sure do try.

We're here because we care, and also because we've lived through a lot of the stuff that teens are coming here to ask about.

I know you probably think we're just old ladies who don't know anything, or that times are different now, but they really aren't and we really aren't. Well, Starby's old, but I'm still a spring chicken. ;) (I'm going to die now, you realize that!)

Just know that we care. Know that we're here to listen, and please, at least think about what we said, sleep on it, hear it for what it is, concern for you. Can you do that for us? Please?

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

We don't? I thought we did. Darnit, now I have to redo my business cards. :( ;)

Starby's right, at least you stuck around and listened, that's more than most people do.

We can only give you advice, we can't force you to take it, but darnit we sure do try.

We're here because we care, and also because we've lived through alot of the stuff that teens are coming here to ask about.

I know you probably think we're just old ladies who don't know anything, or that times are different now, but they really aren't and we really aren't. Well, Starby's old, but I'm still a spring chicken. ;) (I'm going to die now, you realize that!)

Just know that we care. Know that we're here to listen, and please, at least think about what we said, sleep on it, hear it for what it is, concern for you. Can you do that for us? Please?

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I'd be sleeping with one eye open if I were you Chickypoo! :p

If you were as mature as you say, then you would be waiting for the mind, body, and soul, to get in sync with the brain, and you can do this right, instead of merely going through the motions of being an adult.

Its like trying to drive a car, and can't reach the pedals, you ain't going nowhere.

Obviously there still is a lot to learn, so you'll know what your doing. As mature as you think you are, I hope your smart enough to be patient with yourself, and learn the right things, the right way, after you have learned about yourself. Don't rush it, you'll miss something important.

I know from years of experience that the problems your having, is your body telling you to pay attention to other areas of your life, that your either neglecting, or not doing the right things by yourself.

You may not understand it, and that's okay, but I hope your mature enough to not be stubborn, and just think about it.

Hey progressincolor,
I think a major problem here is that no one feels it's legal to give you any advice. I think it's safe to say that if sex is not giving you pleasure, then there's no reason to do it. If you were an adult, most people would say to visit a doctor, see if your hormone levels were normal, ask you lots of questions about masturbation and whether that gives you pleasure. They would ask about your boyfriend etc. But there's no reason to assume you would have normal hormone levels for an adult woman at your age and there's the legal problem. A doctor would have the same response, I bet. Plus pleasurable sex involves learning that is specific to the people involved Some people are not a good match.

You are obviously articulate and thoughtful. But I agree that there's no reason to rush this. I don't think that innocence and virginity are these huge valuable commodities that need to be protected, so that's not where I'm coming from. I suspect that you will come to have a satisfying sex life in the future. For now, be patient with yourself, with life.

The other thing I am wondering is where the pressure is coming from to get this right so soon. You said your boyfriend was taking this personally. What does he say?

The American culture is full of misconceptions about sex... TV, movies, porn in our homes, friends opinions... on and on.

The bottom line is that you don't enjoy it... so, for you, you are too young and immature to enjoy sex.

Also, since you are so young, your boyfriend may be working you over, not making love... which is what happens to so many girls who are too young, hence too ignorant to have sex.

I think you should stop having sex asap so you don't get totally ruined by teen years of bad sex.