Ask Me Help Desk - Constantly angry and depressed

What would be your heart's desire? To write?

Ya you are right just stop feeling guilty... to begin with... you are right... no more kicking myself

No my heart's desire would be to be able to interact with people , talk to them , help them like in a boarding school be with young children... or be with some NGO etc

Craig (Clough) and I have both been in a similar place to where you are now, and someone with a flashlight found each of us to guide us our of our dark tunnels. So we will do that with you. Of course, you will have to hold one of the flashlights, so we aren't doing all the work.

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Originally Posted by needhelp kutchs

No my heart's desire would be to be able to interact with people , talk to them , help them like in a boarding school be with young children.... or be with some NGO etc

Are you anywhere near a library?

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Originally Posted by needhelp kutchs

Ya you are right just stop feeling guilty...to begin with ...you are right...no more kicking myself

And, no more raking yourself over the coals, so to speak! You can overcome doing that, you know! :)

I'm looking forward to some form of self-expression from you that's positive and proactive. It would seem that writing something would be the way to go!

What I'm suggesting is that you write a song...

Yes, you can do that!

I and Wondergirl can show you how to do that.

What do you think?

You sure.. Thanks... let me see if it works... I'm not feeling too optimistic right now but am ready to walk nevertheless

You write a song about my frustrations :)

Isn't gtalk faster than this this is so slow...

I was even thinking she could start a blog. That's very easy to do now. In fact, I plan to start my own before the end of the year. There is a good web site that gives all the help one needs. Readers can comment on anything the blog owner posts. Photos can be posted, plus a journal or stories or essays or poems. Here's one that was started just for fun and has turned into an international sensation with a book coming out in November --

The Daily Coyote

A blog could be only one thing to do.

I atarted a blog and left it after 2 months didn't work you see

I need to go to the root cause of my anger to be able to root it out completely... I cannot answer the question... Why am I so angry and disgusted with my life and everybody around??

You could eventually become an expert here on this site, perhaps the Hindi expert or a parenting expert. Of course, first you would become regularly involved in the site by helping people and answering their questions, finding your niche, and feeling great satisfaction along the way. It's a form of writing and expressing oneself.

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Originally Posted by needhelp kutchs

I atarted a blog and left it after 2 months didn't work you see

I wonder why it didn't work.

Ok, let's concentrate on the anger.

You are really a positive person "Wondergirl"... what a wonder!
That's the problem... there are so many opportunities and so miuch to do but no way to even begin!

What sets you off and makes you angry--at home, socially, with other women, with men, with children, while shopping..

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Originally Posted by needhelp kutchs

That's the problem...there are so many opportunities and so miuch to do but no way to even begin!

You have to start in one spot only. And yes, there is always a way to begin.

Sometimes a patron at the library where I work tell me he (or she) wants to write. I ask what has been written so far. The answer is... nothing. Guess what I say next.

Socially - those other Officers' Dumb wives definitely,
At home - kids not listening to me,
With husband- he's never stressed about anything and always smiling... that really irritates me

Now you will tell me how lucky I am to get a husband like that and that I should not be irritated... I know that but still I am angry and frustrated... the trouble is I know it all and still can't help myself

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Originally Posted by needhelp kutchs

ya write a song about my frustrations :)

Exactly! It won't be hard to do!

It's probably been so slow on this thread because many times we help people on threads simultaneously. In addition to you, I have been working with two others here tonight. I'm usually not darting around between threads this much. Didn't want to leave them hanging... I think they might not be online anymore, though. Tonight has been kind of unusual in that way because this night of the week is usually pretty slow...

Do you play the piano, other instrument or sing at all?

Thanks!

I don't pretend to be Freud, but do you remember getting frustrated as a young person and getting angry about things, or is this more of a recent development?

Why do you say the officers' wives are dumb?

Give me a "for instance" about the kids not listening to you. A lot or just once in a while?

I remember turning 29 and thinking it may as well be the end of my life. I had one child by then and couldn't imagine being 30 (ancient! ). And all I felt I was good for was washing dishes and making meals and cleaning house (and with a bachelor's degree too), and no one cared about me and my brain at all.

I used to get frustrated a lot as a young girl , so I met the first man I met when I was 19 years old to escape from my home where my parents ( both hi-profile educationists) were always fighting.I completed all my education after marriage.

I find the other ladies Dumb because they do not talk about anything other than clothes , jewellery and discussing other women's private lives... I feel disgusted looking at them.

... So I married the first man...

Wondergirl can't we talk on googletalk?

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Originally Posted by needhelp kutchs

I find teh other ladies Dumb because they do not talk about anything other than clothes , jewellery and discussing other women's private lives....i feel disgusted looking at them.

I totally understand that! I'm not a hair and nails person. I am clean and dress well enough, but can't stand to endlessly talk about stuff like that or other people. I would rather talk about religion or politics or ideas or books I've read.

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Originally Posted by needhelp kutchs

wondergirl can't we talk on googletalk?

I've never downloaded that. I have MSN and Yahoo messengers. How do I get googletalk?

Do you have a gmail account?

I googled it and found it! Yay me!

How about I download it and we chat on it in about 24 hours from now. I should go to bed soon. (It's 12:42 a.m. here and I am supposed to work at the library Sunday afternoon.) Could you wait until then, until my evening on Sunday?

You're on the other side of the world, I know.

Sure wondergirl see you soon. Good night and sleep well

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Originally Posted by needhelp kutchs

sure wondergirl see you soon. Good night and sleep well

Wait just a minute! I want you to do something constructive until then. What could you do?

Craig, are you still there?

You tell me what to do ?

Oh, I think that chatting outside of this thread wouldn't be good for maintaining the integrity of the thread. If you do that, then it's very difficult for others to know what information exchange has taken place. Others may also come along who might have similar issues and having all of the information about responses to the original question might also be a great help to them with similar issues that they're having in their own lives.

Other folks might also be able to really give some great advice, but would be reluctant to do so because they don't have all of the information because they know that some of it's missing from the thread.

For one thing, I didn't come on this thread and made effort working on it thinking that it would just go off somewhere outside of this site where I wouldn't be able to participate. Please do keep things on the threads after they've been started. Doing anything else, like communicating in other ways, outside of posting on a thread would not be keeping in the spirit of why this site exists in the first place.

Thanks!

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Originally Posted by needhelp kutchs

ya tell me what to do ?

How about if you deal with the children differently somehow. If they don't listen, sing your instructions to them or whisper your instructions to them (like a secret) or write your instructions in block printing on paper. Do the unexpected. Shock and surprise them. Get away from the ordinary.

Also, write something. Anything. How about stream of consciousness about the Army wives and what they do and how you feel about what they do? Just let it all out. No one will see it except for you.

Good point, Clough! So let's continue on with this thread for a while and see what happens. Whatever we could do on Googletalk, we can do here. After all, we are courageous and inventive people!

Don't tell the children you will do things differently. Just do them. You want to keep the children a bit off balance, so you won't be so predictable to them. Life is an adventure!

I have more ideas for the future.

And mentioning Googletalk and then saying we will stay with the thread is instructional for anyone reading this.

I am writing and feeling much better... :) Ya craig is right let's just stick to this thread... after all it is here that I found help... someone else too might be helped by my problem and its solution:)

Hi, needhelp kutchs!

I'm still here, but very tired. Would you be willing to vent some by writing something on another thread that you might start on this site? Doing so might help you to gain some self-confidence and self-esteem that you really seem to need. Depending on how you respond, I can direct you as to how you might do it. If you don't want to do it, that's okay too.

Thanks!

You, I am tired too... lets meet up sometime later bye :)