Really bad thoughts?

It's great that you've been seeing a counselor.
Has it not helped at all?
Has she not given you any advice about what could be going on?

She has helped in some situations... but she barely knows half of what's going on in my head... one day I told her I had no control over my thoughts.. and she said she mite refer me to a psychiatrist but wants to talk to me one more time... and when I went again she never mentioned the psychiatrist.. I don't think they want me to get one... and the stuff I do talk to her about aren't that complicated I guess... I keep all the complicated stuff inside... I think I would talk more if I was talking to a psychiatrist... sometimes I just can't talk about exactly what I'm thinking.. its really hard.. last couple days I've been worrying about my relationship with my girlfriend... and I felt like I couldn't open up to her because I don't want to tell her some of the bad thoughts I was getting because it made me look really weak.. like her checking out other guys and stuff and maybe forgetting about me over the summer.. stuff like that... I talked to her for a bit and I felt a bit better... but its still in the back of my head... I have a meeting with my counsellor tomorrow... ill ask about the psychiatrist

Yes definitely ask about the psychiatrist.
Plus, if you have difficulty talking about your feelings and thoughts, by all means, RIGHT THEM DOWN ON PAPER!
I've done that a million times - honestly.
I didn't even feel comfortable talking about some of my issues so I'd hand my BIG list written on paper over to my counselor and Dr.
Just put your feelings on paper my friend, you need to let them know your thoughts in order for them to be able to help you...

Kae

Yea that sounds like a good idea.. thanks man