The simple fact we all have issues and problems, the only really crazy people are the ones who think they don't have any problems.

Everyone should see a couselor to help them learn to deal with things. And at times some may find that medications can help perhaps with certain chemical imbalances that may be found even.

The only problem I see is that you are not wanting help, real help. I have went to marriage counseling, I went to some counseling a few years back to learn to deal better with others.
Went to a program to help me learn to be a better co worker.

Only a person who did not want to be a better person would refuse to go to programs or counseling to help them improve.

I don't know, when I am driving my car, when I am typing, but come to think of it, I really don't know if I am in control...

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

The simple fact we all have issues and problems, the only really crazy people are the ones who think they don't have any problems.

Everyone should see a couselor to help them learn to deal with things. And at times some may find that medications can help perhaps with certain chemical imbalances that may be found even.

The only problem I see is that you are not wanting help, real help. I have went to marriage couseling, I went to some couseling a few years back to learn to deal better with others.
Went to a program to help me learn to be a better co worker.

Only a person who did not want to be a better person would refuse to go to programs or couseling to help them improve.

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I should already be at my best, when ever you do something no matter what that is your best, you shouldn't need help to get better it should be something you already are, if I need help to be better then there is something wrong with me.

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Originally Posted by spiralbound

I don't know, when I am driving my car, when I am typing, but come to think of it, I really don't know if I am in control....

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Those are rote activities that you have been doing for years -- large and small muscle activities, things you can do in your sleep.

I'm talking about your thoughts, feelings, behaviors/actions toward yourself and others, especially such as setting goals for yourself and getting them done.

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Originally Posted by spiralbound

I should already be at my best, when ever you do something....

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When are you at your best? Name three times you are at your best, doing what?

I really can't actually, I have never done anything the best I could, or maybe I did and it wasn't good enough for me. I really don't think I have ever been in control of my thoughts, feelings, behaviors/actions toward myself and others. I mean I don't go around hitting people in the face when they make me mad, but I always 100% of the time wish I would have done something different whenever I am finished with something.

In real life, people get help all the time

Salesmen, have to listen to self improvement CD's, they have sales meetings all the time and classes

But at the end of the day, sorry you are wrong and have no idea what it takes and who needs help. You are first having issues yourself, and second you are not old enough to have experienced life to know enough about it. ** sorry to be blunt but that is my style.

In marriage, none work well if there is not work done, it may come from Oprah ( joking) or it may be from their religious group and faith, or it may come from friends but mostly it comes from help with communication with each other, and any marriage can be better with counseling if the couple would work on it.

The same with a person, corporations spend 100's of thousands each year sending their top people on retreats and group bonding experiences,
A large amusement park in Fla. Has a program that companies send their people to, it is a scavanger hunt for one program, it teaches people how to work in groups ( sorta)

But part of it, is teaching what it takes to be a winner. And to make the employees feel more like winners.

If these things did not work, there would not be millions spend on them.

Sounds like some military BS to me where you are taught that you don't need anyone, that you can do any and everything yourself. The sooner you discover that you will always need others the sooner you can accept help

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Originally Posted by spiralbound

I have never done anything the best I could, or maybe I did and it wasn't good enough for me.

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Are you a perfectionist?

I am here to get help, but you got to understand whenever I try to do something I just quit because I lose interest in it rather quickly. I used to be able to make myself do stuff because I needed to to it and I understand that we are going to have to do things we don't want to do sometimes, but I am not talking about sometimes I am talking about all the time. From video games to school work, I can't concentrate on getting anything done, I get tired and want to go to sleep, I feel overwhelmed and I get depressed, it usually leads to thinking about suicide and I can count a dozen times I have tried to do that so I wouldn't have to get out of bed to go to school in the morning because it became such a burden. Every time it gets easier, the first time I couldn't even point the gun at my face, this last time I don't know how many millionths of an inch I had to go before I was dead. I really wasn't concerned about it and I wasn't thinking about how painful life it but rather how mundane and boring it is that I can't find interest in or appreciate anything in this world.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Are you a perfectionist?

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I don't ever remember doing anything perfect, so I am not really sure. I know when I start something I have the mindset of doing it perfect but when I actually do it I usually just go for the minimum standards, especially when doing it perfect seems too hard, or when I inevitably lose interest in doing the project all together but know I have to get it done.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

In real life, people get help all the time

Salesmen, have to listen to self improvement CD's, they have sales meetings all the time and classes

But at the end of the day, sorry you are wrong and have no idea what it takes and who needs help. You are first having issues yourself, and second you are not old enough to have experienced life to know enough about it. ** sorry to be blunt but that is my style.

In marriage, none work well if there is not work done, it may come from Oprah ( joking) or it may be from their religious group and faith, or it may come from friends but mostly it comes from help with communication with each other, and any marriage can be better with couseling if the couple would work on it.

The same with a person, corporations spend 100's of thousands each year sending thier top people on retreats and group bonding experiences,
A large amusement park in Fla. has a program that companies send their people to, it is a scavanger hunt for one program, it teaches people how to work in groups ( sorta)

But part of it, is teaching what it takes to be a winner. And to make the employees feel more like winners.

if these things did not work, there would not be millions spend on them.

Sounds like some military BS to me where you are taught that you don't need anyone, that you can do any and everything yourself. The sooner you discover that you will always need others the sooner you can accept help

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Also on the military part, they actually got pissed off that I didn't go to them for help last semester, but I can't let people know that I need help with simple tasks that others get right on the first time, I would rather fail than ask for help from the military.

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Originally Posted by spiralbound

I don't ever remember doing anything perfect

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That's not what a perfectionist is. A perfectionist WANTS to do something perfect, but cannot and so gives up.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

That's not what a perfectionist is. A perfectionist WANTS to do something perfect, but cannot and so gives up.

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What's wrong with being a perfectionist.

All this stems from depression,every excuse,every self defeating explanation,all the reasons you think you are less than,why you haven't measured up to the criteria you have for yourself.

The base line of all this is dealing with the depression that has you in the constant state of chaos.

If you continue in the chaos,you will eventually go further and further downhill(as your suicide attempts are showing)

WHEN you decide to make a change,to get away from this chaos,this black cloud you are living under,perhaps then you can achieve those goals you have set for yourself.Otherwise,things can simply progress unchecked until...

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Originally Posted by spiralbound

Whats wrong with being a perfectionist.

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A perfectionist will never be perfect, can never achieve the goals he sets for himself.

Why? Why would I be depressed, I have no reason to be depressed. My life couldn't be in a better position, I have always had it easy and nothing has ever gotten in my way. Everything I wanted for myself I was achieving. Nothing bad that I didn't cause myself has ever happened to me. I shouldn't be depressed

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

A perfectionist will never be perfect, can never achieve the goals he sets for himself.

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Then what's left...

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Originally Posted by spiralbound

Then whats left.....

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Can you accept "not perfect"?

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I shouldn't be depressed

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Shouldn't be and ARE are 2 different things.

Denial of something doesn't make it not so.

From sentence one I have been monitoring this thread,if you want attention,you have gotten it.and constantly shot down the others for their attempts to steer you towards a new thought path.

Do you understand what depression is?

Do you think people who are NOT depressed attempt their lives?Or even have suicidal thinking?

A chemical imbalance happens, it could be from emotional bankruptcy, physical abuse,trauma from your life as a teen, or even younger.. the list is infinite.

What someone does with this knowledge of self,how they cope with this is how the chemicals begin to intermix.

It's not rocket science, not really.. it's normal for a person to feel down when they lose a loved one,the brain chemicals alter the thinking patterns, some people can cope with the loss better than others, some(like me) don't.

I can identify,in others,depression.I can also identify someone who is too into themselves,too far gone, to the inside.

How much isolation have you been in for the last year, how about the last 2 months?

Human interaction and exercise are 2 very good ways to get out of self.

Sorry I was just trying to rule out all other options before I accepted that I might be depressed. Which I now agree with you it is, that leaves me with few options.