I have another thing that is wrong with me. It is sort of apart of this but not completely. I have a sexual problem that I really don't want to go into at all. I only have this problem when I am extremely stressed or emotional and it ties into myself hate a lot, whenever it is an issue I find me hating myself over it. However can you generally tell me if it will stop if I improve myself image or will I need to find some other way?
I am willing to sacrifice a lot to get rid of this problem but I just don't want a soul to know about it. I will try to help you understand it until you figure it out I just can't bare to say directly.

If you want straight up advice, give straight up information.

You would most probably have to get a doctors diagnosis to see if it is psychical, emotional or what. It is hard to say not knowing the specifics as well as a diagnosis.
I am not even sure if you are male or female since nothing you have written indicts either one.

Fair enough, even though I was being evasive I agree with you talaniman. I will go and seek advice from somewhere else just considering I find it to personal.

But thanks so much for your help guys I am sure my future will be so much better now :)

You said that you don't want to see a therapist or anything, and you might not like this suggestion either, but you could very well be bi-polar, or have some other issues where medication might help you. That is NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF if you are. Making an appt with a medical Dr. could quite likely change your life!

Sometimes the brain isn't balanced right, and it leads you to wrong choices and decisions. It may even lead you to do things that you KNOW aren't right! If you go to your family Dr. and just tell him a few of the things you've said here, he might do a few tests and be able to diagnose and prescribe something, so you would feel balanced. Don't feel embarrassed about telling your Dr. You are not the first or the last person that has ever felt the way you feel! It could turn out to be just a chemical imbalance in your brain that could be dealt with in a matter of weeks, given the right meds.

Then, you could go on your canoeing trip and have the 'time of your life'!. and you'll come back wondering why you didn't see a Dr. about it long ago!

Good Luck to you! :)