Ask Me Help Desk - I was molested as a child, would it still be right to tell my parents?

Is she still with this monster? Does your sister still see him?

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

Is she still with this monster? Does your sister still see him?

yes she lives with him part time. Week on week off. I am giving my mom the letter today

Please keep us posted as to how things go with your mom and the outcome of the situation. While this is a very hard thing to do, both you and your sister will benefit from your courage and strength.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuscany

Please keep us posted as to how things go with your mom and the outcome of the situation. While this is a very hard thing to do, both you and your sister will benefit from your courage and strength.

yea I will be sure to post something =) thank for all your help

By all means dear one, tell your mother what has happened. You don't know that he is not doing it to your sister as well. At any rate, he needs to be in jail and you will need some therapy.
Your mother would never forgive herself if she did not know that this had happened to you.
Keep us posted and I wish you and your family, peace.

I want every one to know that I wrote my mother a letter, we had a family talk about it with my dad my brother and my mother and we are going to take further steps

Thanks for the update and I wish you and your family the best. You are a very brave young lady.

Oh that is wonderful. Please remain strong! You are a role model to other young people who have gone through similar situations.

I think that you should tell your mother because you need to get this out in the open. It as you know won't change what happened but it is the first steps to healing. I think you also need to keep in mind that your sister has nothing to do with what her worthless father did to you. Don't hold her the blame for something she had nothing to do with. I also think that you should seek some kind of help because it can hurt you in the end I know myself. I think that you have made a good start by getting it out. Even if you never seek professional help there are many of us out here who have been there and learning to cope with it . Which is the overall objective here.. I think that forming a bond with your sister even over something like this will leave an opening for her to be able to come to you if anything of this measure where to happen to her. Sometimes When we get help it may not help us much but it HElps others beyound what we ever thought it could.

If it's any help I know what you are going though, as I was also sexually abused by my mum boyfriend, (this was in the late 70's and he's not around anymore, in fact I heard he was in prison.) please don't blame yourself it's not your fault. Only one person is to blame and that is the abuser.

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Originally Posted by xCrookedWingsx

Hi My name is Sarah,

When I was a little girl, about 4 my mother moved in with her boyfriend "Brian". Things were alright at first but as time passed on he began to abuse me physically and mentally when my mother was at work. He would mostly beat on my older brother who stood up for himself. My mom has always thought that my brother got the worse of the abuse. But I have a secret that I have kept for a very long time.
Around the time when I was 5, when my mom wasn't home, Brian would make me go into his bed. He would fondle me and make me touch him as he touched me. As I grew older it got worse soon he was "Kissing" my private area and making me do the same to him. This in time leaded to sex, I was very young and very confused. I didn't understand what was happening, and when he told me not to tell "mommy" I didn't. This lasted until I was about 7. When we finally moved away from him and I grew a little I learned how wrong that was. I was embarrassed about it and too ashamed to tell anyone.
I tired forgetting about it for a long time; I didn't tell anyone until I was 13, but then the guy I told didn't seem to care. He made it seem as though I shouldn't complain that I was molested as I child because it happens to many girls. No parents know about this.
The man who molested me is my half sisters father.
I want to tell my mother, but I'm afraid. I also have a horrible relationship with my half sister because of this. I have not had any therapy for this.

Should I still tell my mother? Will it do any help ?

You should definitely tell your mother!! No one can change the past, but you experience may cause you problems in the future, so it is better for it to be out in the open so you can ask your mum for help if you need it. Your mum may feel bad about what happened to you, so it is important let her know that it was not her fault. If problems do occur, then it is important that you and your mother get through it together.

I was molested multiple times by my father somewhere around the ages of 5-7. I kept it to myself until I was a freshman in high school. When I finally told my mom, she was upset that it took me so long to say something, but she has been so supportive and I don't know what I would do without her.

Moral of the story... tell your mom, she will support you because she loves you.

I definitely think that you should tell your mom cause that jerk needs to be held accountable for his actions! You shouldn't be ashamed because you were an innocent child, and he took advantage of your innocence. Telling your mom could also bring you closure. Take care

I am going through the same thing right now. I was sexually molested by my brother and I am scared to tell my parents since it is their real son and I don't know if it is OK to ruin their image of him. I am 22 and this all happened when I was 5 to about 7 (my brother was 10-12). I am trying to figure out what to do as well. Whatever you choose to do, know that your mother may be in denial at first. This doesn't mean that she is taking his side, she may just want to remember this man fondly and not as a pedophile. It is scary I know. Best of luck to you.

I haven't been able to find the courage to tell my parents yet but I was able to tell my teacher who I am very close with. I wrote her a letter and let her read it in front of me. I'm going to be honest with you. It was the hardest thing of my entire life but it was sooooo worth it. It felt like a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders from carrying around this horrible secret... I would say tell someone you trust your mom, a teacher, a parent figure. Anyone you think will be able to support you and show you the encouragement you need right now. Also do it sooner than later hunny; you'll be glad you did <3 you'll be in my prayers :)