Excellent attitude to take on aanthonyy! Your therapist is spot on. She stated it much better than I did. My biggest concern was the amount of energy you were expending trying to rationalize the dialogue and situation you had with your ex. There isn't any way to rationalize her actions and your therapist is so absolutely right -- she isn't worth your thoughts or time. Please continue to recognize how destructive a person she truly is to everyone around her, and that there isn't any way you could have changed anything. You shouldn't doubt your actions, your end of the conversations, or how you handled the situation with her. You did the right thing for yourself by ending the relationship. Be thankful you are free from her. You shoud be rejoicing and dancing on tables!

Ruby - thanks so much for your time and imput, it was so appreciated - It really did help me to crystalise my situation for my therapist to view, and it was very helpful to be able to talk to somebody who does not know me and could not be biased out of their love and interest for my wellbeing, thus who I could trust - I know that sounds weird - to trust a stranger on the internet - but in this context it was precisely what I needed.
Everybody who loves me had said pretty much what you had yet I had become distrustful of their motives due to what I had heard previously from the EX about all of my friends male and female. Her narrative had become the strongest voice in my mind - utter poison.
The girl having reached 41 has one male friend and her boyfriend in her life - that is all - that is what she has to show for 41 years of her life which I guess says EVERYTHING - 1 friend (whose son is schitzophrenic) and one 24 year old partner who needs a passport. Little wonder she is not wanting to be self aware!!
The pressure control and manipulation she will now exert on her new partner is inevitable. She will never change. I had little to change - other than in fully owning my feelings and being very honest about them in future.
I'm not sure about dancing on tables, but suffice to say that my priority will be in enjoying living MY life on my terms for a while! Again thank you sincerely for your time - your clearly a very kind caring person and I wish you all the very best and much happiness.

Thank you darling. Just always remember that your friends have nothing to gain by telling you something negative about someone you are involved with. They care about you and hated to see you so miserable. Don't ever doubt their sincerity. Now you should be talking to them about how your personality changed while you were with her. I bet they will give you a real earful. It will help clarify to you even more, how much of a negative influence she was on your life and how much better off you are now that she is out of your life. This discussion with your friends will help you in the process of reclaiming your life. Xxxooo

They all said that they had seen a change in me and that I always seemed either stressed or less available to them. A lot of what I went through is a bit embaressing to talk about as I hear myself talking and cringe - though I have been very open with a few girlfriends who have said what the f**k and all of my friends when I told them we had split said 'thank god for that' 'she was a freak' and you are better off without her without me having to tell my story. In fact NONE of my friends ever said they liked her or what a nice girl she was when we were together - in fact most said 'she is completely wrong for you Anthony.. Need to listen in future - as your right, my friends reflect who I am and love me for who I am...
Silly man! Still the sex was good - ehem - hehe xx

The only bad sex is the one you don't get so its ALL good.:D