Okay so I am 13F.

And I have depression/anxiety/and frequent mood swings. I have slit my wrists due to anger. I daydream about killing. Without a path. I have been taking medicine for it but it doesn't work. I can't trust any one because in my mind everyone wants to harm me. I do almost everything to harm me... smoke, cut, aimlessly walking. I am constantly trying to cause me pain. When people make me mad I want to hurt me instead of them. I don't know what is keeping me from going all the way... But I see and in the future I will be dead. I already know how I am going to commit suicide.

No one believes me. Everyone thinks I am doing this for attention and I am not. I am shy and I dislike attention.

Help me please!

And don't be rude I get enough of that already!


Sr13

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SinisterRebel13

okay so i am 13F.

and i have depression/anxiety/and frequent mood swings. I have slit my wrists due to anger. I daydream about killing. Without a path. I have been taking medicine for it but it doesn't work. I can't trust any one because in my mind everyone wants to harm me. I do almost everything to harm me...smoke, cut, aimlessly walking. I am constantly trying to cause me pain. When people make me mad i wanna hurt me instead of them. I don't know what is keeping me from going all the way... But i see and in the future i will be dead. I already know how i am going to commit suicide.

no one believes me. Everyone thinks i am doing this for attention and i am not. I am shy and i dislike attention.

help me please!

and don't be rude i get enough of that already!


sr13

---

And if it doesn't work, then why aren't you telling your psychiatrist that? So your medications can be adjusted or changed.

Yes, you have some type of problem, and if you are not getting professional help you need to.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by smoothy

And if it doesn't work, then why aren't you telling your psychiatrist that? So your medications can be adjusted or changed.

---

I do and all he does is up the dose--just more meds... im still crying every night. I have been taking the pills for about 3-5 months now!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Yes, you have some type of problem, and if you are not getting professional help you need to.

---

Thanks... Glad to know I'm crazy! (no sarcasm)

Only 3-5 months... then he is still working on finding the right medication and dosage for you yet. With these you don't change them overnight because their effect grows with time... and a you don't get an immediate reaction. SO while it appears painfully slow... there is a reason for that. And changes may take a month or more to see how its going to work. As I said... because results are not immediate. And going too much too soon can be more dangerous than not enough.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by smoothy

Only 3-5 months...then he is still working on finding the right medication and dosage for you yet. With these you don't change them overnight because their effect grows with time....and a you don't get an immediate reaction.

---

So... What I have to wait years for this to kick in? I would've killed myself by then! I need urgent help!

Are you meeting with a counselor or therapist for chat sessions at least twice a week?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Are you meeting with a counselor or therapist for chat sessions at least twice a week?

---

I met with my therapist 5 days out of a week. But I don't anymore after something "sinister" happened between my therapist and me. And I can't find another :/

Five times in one week? What happened?

You MUST find another therapist.

Years isn't the case... months likely... maybe by the one year mark they will have it figured out for you.

Seriously... no two people respond the same way to the same medicines... so there will be dosage changes and even medicine changes before they find what works best for you.

I didn't do this personally.. but a very close friend did a few years back... they have her very well controlled now. But it was really rocky that first year.

And that is the same no matter what med is prescribed -- blood pressure, cold medicine, antibiotics, etc.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Five times in one week? What happened?

You MUST find another therapist.

---

Life...

:''/

I see. You'd rather get enmeshed in drama than do something important and helpful for yourself.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I see. You'd rather get enmeshed in drama than do something important and helpful for yourself.

---

Please don't be rude :)

I try... You think I want to be like this?!

Whenever I ask for help there is always at least one person that has to be rude...

Sr13

I made a strong suggestion (because I am a therapist), and you brushed if off very casually. So what am I to think?

No, I don't think you are trying at all, OR you are VERY trying...

I'm still wondering how you got away from the care of the first therapist.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I made a strong suggestion (because I am a therapist), and you brushed if off very casually. So what am I to think?

No, I don't think you are trying at all,. OR you are VERY trying....

I'm still wondering how you got away from the care of the first therapist.

---

I don't know who you are... For all I know you could be a pedo...

I am just trying to get some help that is all...

And you don't have to help if you don't want to...

I don't want to up anybody's life...


Rebel Against

I really, really am a therapist. And I am trying to help, but you have shot me down ever since I started.

Now, let's start over. Why can't you find another therapist? That's very important while your meds are being figured out.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I really, really am a therapist. And I am trying to help, but you have shot me down ever since I started.

Now, let's start over. Why can't you find another therapist? That's very important while your meds are being figured out.

---

Okay... Clean slate

I am afraid. I can not trust anyone--not even myself--every one is trying to harm me...

All the more reason you need to find a therapist and work that out.

Has anyone harmed you so far?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

All the more reason you need to find a therapist and work that out.

Has anyone harmed you so far?

---

No one except myself... But I always see... Like when my best friends reaches for a hug I think she is secretly trying to strangle me...

So you self harm, but no one so far has tried to hurt you? You are your own worst enemy, mentally as well as physically?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So you self harm, but no one so far has tried to hurt you? You are your own worst enemy, mentally as well as physically?

---

Yes... And I guess so... But I hate my family, race, friends, almost everyone I know... I only truly care about 2 adults... and 1 is NOT my mother. Or father

Who are the two adults? Why do you care about them?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Who are the two adults? Why do you care about them?

---

1: Natania
2. Kari

They are the only people who make me feel loved and special :) they listen and they don't judge me for who I am... They are just... There... And I love them :)

Everyone else judges you. No one else listens.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Everyone else judges you. No one else listens.

---

Yep...

My friends laugh
And every one... Doesn't like me... Hell I don't like myself :P

Please don't be rude :P

Please don't start new threads on the same subject. I merged your two on mental health.

No one is being rude. We're all trying to get at what is going on with you and what you are so unhappy about.

Listen to Wondergirl... she knows what she's talking about, she IS trying to help you, or she wouldn't be wasting her time with you, neither of us would be... besides she is a bigshot at this site.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Please don't start new threads on the same subject. I merged your two on mental health.

No one is being rude. We're all trying to get at what is going on with you and what you are so unhappy about.

---

Well I didn't know... What is this a game you're playing?

I'm confused... It seems as if you don't want to help me... You're just being a smart... Sorry I am an honest person...

And well you're being mean/rude to me... Im new here and I just want help not judgements... Is that too much to ask?



Rebel against all that hurt you--

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SinisterRebel13

well i didn't know... What is this a game you're playing?

im confused... It seems as if you don't wanna help me... You're just being a smart ... Sorry i am an honest person....

and well you're being mean/rude to me... Im new here and i just want help not judgements... Is that too much to ask?



rebel against all that hurt you--

---

Woooo Nelly, chill pill time... Wondergirl is being anything BUT what you just said about her. If you want help... you HAVE to listen to others... you are the one being judgmental here.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by smoothy

Woooo Nelly, chill pill time....Wondergirl is being anything BUT what you just said about her. If you want help...you HAVE to listen to others...you are the one being judgmental here.

---

I didn't say anything about precious "wondergirl" I was speaking in general...

And I don't WANT help I NEED IT!

And I already take pills to keep me sane thank you...


Kill all

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SinisterRebel13

i didn't say anything about precious "wondergirl" i was speaking in general....

and i don't WANT help i NEED IT!

and i already take pills to keep me sane thank you...


kill all

---

Need it.. want it... same difference... if you don't listen to anyone else... then nothing is going to get better. And trust me... its really easy to walk away and just ignore you if you want to get rude with people, who I might add, are not getting paid a single cent to try to help you. We are all volunteers... we don't get paid.

Does this attitude have something to do with why you aren't seeing that therapist? I'm betting it is... you can learn a lot about people by not what they say... but HOW they say it.

[QUOTE=smoothy;3137248]Need it.. want it... same difference... if you don't listen to anyone else... then nothing is going to get better. And trust me... its really easy to walk away and just ignore you if you want to get rude with people, who I might add, are not getting paid a single cent to try to help you. We are all volunteers... we don't get paid.

Does this attitude have something to do with why you aren't seeing that therapist? I'm betting it is... you can learn a lot about people by not what they say... but HOW they say it.[/QUOTE}

This is exactly why I want to die... Now you hate me and I honestly don't understand what I did wrong! My therapist left because I lied on him so I wouldn't have to go to a mental hospital... And he got in A lot of trouble... But he hurt me first... He stabbed me in the back first...


So I needed to get me revenge...


I ALWAYS GET MY REVENGE NO MATTER THE OUTCOME!


Rebelagainstall

How on earth could a therapist get in trouble because you lied? That makes no sense.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

How on earth could a therapist get in trouble because you lied? That makes no sense.

---

It was a BIG LIE ;P

Doesn't matter how big it was. The mental health field is very smart and on top of the wiles of clients. What was the big lie?

I don't hate you... I can get upset easily (but I also calm down quickly)... but you have to REALLY try hard to get me to hate you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Doesn't matter how big it was. The mental health field is very smart and on top of the wiles of clients. What was the big lie?

---

Obviously you don't care...

But thanks... I guess :D

SinisterRebel13