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    david2424's Avatar
    david2424 Posts: 3, Reputation: -1
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    #1

    Jan 31, 2012, 04:36 PM
    Can I sue my dad?
    I was brought up in uncommunicative and unloving home. My family knew about my "issues". I tend to do bad in school, have no friends, depressed even wrote a suicide note . All dad did was take me out of school and left me at home so he went back to work. I was able to go to Charter Retreat in Decatur Alabama for a four months. I was not allowed to stay with a treatment program . Because of no treatment , I did poorly in school and could not get a job. I struggled and struggled . Things would be better if I had gotten treatment. In 2008, I wrote a email suicide note to local news station. In 2009 I was diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD. I was working in the shipping department. In November 2010 I was let go due to my illness. I was told it was due to unable to concentrate , could not stay on task and had too much time off going to the doctor. I had a roommate that was a power of attorney and took money from me. But dad ( nor any other family member) did not bother to become my guardian. He saw that I was in hospital about 5 times in a year. I had many manic attacks. I had sheriff come to house 12-14 times because of suicide threats. I was quickly approved for disability within 3 months. I had several people say I was unstable. My dad ( and rest of family) saw how I have been. They knew my condition for years but did nothing to prevent things years ago with good diagnosis and did nothing to prevent things from getting worse in last year. If I had gotten help when I needed it, then things would not be as bad now. If I had gotten help a year ago when I was unstable then I would not be as bad now. I am being penalized for having my illness. And I am being penalized for not getting proper treatment with medicines.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #2

    Jan 31, 2012, 04:42 PM
    Sorry, but that is not grounds for a suit.

    It is good you are now getting the care you need. You need to make the most of it and llok forward, not backward.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Jan 31, 2012, 04:45 PM
    No you can't sue him over your own issues, so grow up, grow a pair and deal with it yourself.

    You think you had a hard life... wait until you deal with the real world. You deal with the hand of cards life gave you... you can't sue everyone because everything didn't turn out the way you wanted.

    Sorry if that comes across as harsh... but every time I see some kid wanting to sue their parents... I see some kid that's not willing to deal with their problems they way they should be.

    Sure life handed you a bunch of problems... but it has for most people... everyone isn't born perfect with all the advantages... everyone has their own set of issues they have to learn to deal with or live with... and they are their own responsibility to handle.

    How you deal with adversity determines what kind of person you are.

    #1. You either take charge, deal with your problems to the best of your ability, accept your personal limitations... and make the most of your life... or

    #2. You sit around blaming everyone and everything... maybe even trying to sue someone like that will ever change anything. And grow up a bitter miserable person because you never take ownership or accept your limitations so you never learn to make the most of your life.

    You can sit around focused on what was... or you can let the past be the past and look forward and focus on making tomorrow better than today... You won't drive very far down the road without a crash if you keep looking in the mirror.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Jan 31, 2012, 05:48 PM
    I will agree and my sound somewhat hard, no you did not want to kill yourself, ou wanted attention. Since if you wanted to kill yourself, you would be dead, people who want to kill themselves do not email or send noted just leave a note where their dead body is.

    You wanted attention and did not get it. You wish to blame something for bad choices you were making.

    So I agree the past is over and gone, I am sure your dad has another side of the story.

    You start making good choices now and move on
    david2424's Avatar
    david2424 Posts: 3, Reputation: -1
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    #5

    Feb 25, 2012, 04:39 PM
    Can I sue my dad?
    My dad is retired but makes with a PhD in electrical engineering makes a good income. He worked over 30 years for the government then left and did contract work. I would like to sue my dad because he was aware of my mental illness all my life. He even took me out of high school when he found my suicide note . He left me at the house and went back to work. I was not given help when I first needed it. Now I am on disability making 921 . I am struggling. He is not. He does not have mental illness. It affected my schooling , my relationships with others, and eventually got laid off because of it. Another interesting note, he has a girl staying with him and his second wife. This girl is his brother's step grand daughter. My dad has paid for a brand new sports car , a trip to New York, 2-3 trips to Peru, gave her money, computer, a dog, etc including paying for her college. Here I am struggling and I get no help. Why couldn't he help me so I would have a more productive and meaningful life? It is not good to let mental illness go untreated. No one would dare think of letting a person with cancer go untreated.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Feb 25, 2012, 04:43 PM
    Mental illness is not always treatable. Many people have no idea what to do. It sounds like he didn't know how to help you, that doesn't make him responsible for how your life has gone.

    Why not get treatment now? If your mental illness is as bad as you say then there are services out there for you with little or no cost to you.

    It's time to stop blaming your father and start helping yourself.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #7

    Feb 25, 2012, 04:48 PM
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...ad-632193.html

    It seems that you've asked this question before, with a lot more info, and the same results as now. You can't sue your father for this.

    Why not get over what's in the past, since the past can't be changed, and start making smart decisions about your future. I assume that you're an adult, and that means that you are now responsible for yourself. Your father is not obligated to support you, he's not even obligated to talk to you if that's what he chooses.

    If you have ADHD and you're bipolar then there is medication available. Go to a doctor, get a diagnosis, get the medication, take the medication, and get your life back on track, but don't expect anyone else to do it for you.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #8

    Feb 25, 2012, 04:49 PM
    But no, you can't sue your father, at least not win a suit or find an attorney to file one.

    {threads merged}
    david2424's Avatar
    david2424 Posts: 3, Reputation: -1
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    #9

    Feb 25, 2012, 05:44 PM
    I do not understand. I still get blamed for having the illness and get faulted for not getting any help when I first needed. Mental illness IS treatable. It may not be 100% curable but it can be managed with therapy and medicines. You do not wait years to treat someone who has cancer or diabetes. If that happens then it is called neglect. But when a person who has mental illness does not get treatment, he gets blamed and told to pull up by bootstraps. So a delinquent father can get onto by not paying child support even on adult children. I know someone that still has to pay . Why not have the grown child pay his own way? Why not let person say the past is past and not pay .so on things that are not mental health related people say the past does matter. I see the double standard. I see how people with mental illness get blamed for the illness . Do you blame a person who has diabetes or cancer? No you do not. Mental illness is the only illness which the victim gets blamed. And that comment about life is hard and I should deal with it. Do you say that to someone that was physically abused? Do you say that to someone who has cerebral palsy? A person with mental illness has trouble with everything : people,schooling, job, etc. But we get criticized by wanting the same things as everyone else to be treated fairly.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #10

    Feb 25, 2012, 06:00 PM
    Before you continue your rant on your soap box, you should know that my son has ADHD. We choose not to medicate him because we don't trust the medications, and ADHD can be dealt with, not cured, without meds. He does get help with it, but for the most part it's up to him. He does have to pull up his boot straps and do the work so that he can learn to cope with this.

    Second, I was a victim of abuse. Not by my parents, but I was molested from a very young age for many years by a cousin. I could have let that have an effect on my life, but I didn't.

    You can't compare cerebral palsy or cancer with ADHD and bipolar disorder. There are very specific treatments for physical illness. With mental illness it's not as cut and dry.

    You said that your issues can be managed with therapy and medicine. Why are you not in therapy? Why are you not taking the medication? You claim that your father neglected you, but now you're neglecting yourself.

    Two wrongs don't make a right.

    Here's the thing, anyone can sue. You can waste money on a lawyer (I doubt you'll find one that would take this case), and spend time trying to get even with your dad for the past, or you can take care of yourself now.

    That's what you're not understanding. We're not punishing you for having a disorder, we're telling to you stop trying to get even for something you can't change, and get the help you need. You yourself are standing in the way of any sort to progress now. Would you do that if you had cancer?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #11

    Feb 25, 2012, 06:02 PM
    Look its not that we don't sympathize. Should your father help pay for treatment? From a moral and ethical standpoint, yes. From a legal standpoint,no.

    And this is the first time you mention child support. Were your parents divorced? If not there is no support issue. If yes, it was your mother's responsibility to get support.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #12

    Feb 29, 2012, 02:20 PM
    I see some RUDE ignorant fool gave me a not Helpful... gee I think I can guess WHO it was. Somebody that's looking for someone to agree with their narrow minded view of life rather than hear what they need to hear. That as an adult you deal with what life gave you... not sue everyone for every perceived fault in your life.

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