Cool thanks, I'll look into it today when I go into town,, that's only 14 miles away... LOL:)

Well they increased my Depakote 500 mg in the Am, and 1500 at night, Have to see how it will help for the weekend, if no results are in, a hospital visit might be in order, I am not very stable tonight.

Ken, I hope it works out for you. But remember that it will most likely take longer than just the weekend to see the true effects of the meds. I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time right now. Just remember it will pass.

It will or it won't, If I need to go inpatient I can always do it... Truthfully I am looking to get some adivan, I need to settle down... But self medication is not an answer.

I am glad you are looking at this realistically, as you know, most people who suffer with Bipolar in the manic phase are NOT realistic thinkers.

You most likely will get Ativan in-patient. I am surprised you don't have a script for it already so that you can use it when you are feeling as you are right now.

I know it's tough Ken, but you will get through this.

Another night of little( but at least some) sleep, getting a cold and feel yucky!! :(

Head is SWIMMING with thoughts, eyes are heavy too, but the sleep is a fleeting thing, OH WELL, that's life.

If I can just stay on board with this fit I might bypass the hospital visit, ( fingers crossed, just like my eyes... lol)

God knows I hope this online journal helps someone else, If anyone else goes through this, look for the help, there are good people out there,like J-9, with sound advice and a clear mind to ask questions to, don't do this alone.

Ken

Ken, I am hoping you got at least a little sleep last night.

Keep coming here hun, you know if I am not online at the moment I will eventually respond. Just be patient with me and my hectic schedule.

Does it help you to talk about what thoughts you mind is swimming with? Does it help release some of the penned up energy?

Yes, to talk about things is like an online journal.

But to release pent-up energy, I can't think of any constructive ways to do that.It is what it is, uncontrolled energy,I shake, rattle and roll,its just a passing phase,although I wish it was over before I make a fool of myself.

I did spend some time in the shop today,no intricate cuts,want to keep my fingers on.It wasn't bad to get artistic,and productive,but when a distraction shows its face I just want to go with it,focus isn't there,ended up playing poker with old friends for 6 hours,till I got cranky and had to leave,1/2 hour drive plus dusk and deer on the road are a bad mixture.

Anyway, Thanks to excon for the comment, I need those every once in a while.

Ken

Ken, I hope you got some rest last night. Glad you made it through the weekend. I am off to school today, but I will check in later this afternoon to see how you are doing.

Thank you J-9,

I am losing reality,, Giddy now,, but its all good, I have family here,visiting from out of town, they have offered to take me to the unit if necessary.

I'll let you all know what's up later.

Ken

Dr. Prescribed ATARAX today,I haven't found any real changes yet, but I think it needs to build up,Not sure,even the med nurse said the PDR wasn't clear,all I found out was the med is an antihistamine( like that's going to help,, sheesh, who do they think they are dealing with,JUNIOR... ) I am getting really pissed with the band-aid treatment from the mental health officials!

So anyway, they say... call back Wed. pm, or Thurs. am if this doesn't help... meanwhile I just wasted $50.00 on pills to clear my cold up? I could have taken Vicks for much less than that.

Sorry, just venting...

I am past giddy, now the anger is creeping in, my poor friends, much less family... I haven't been this volatile in a long time, I guess I am more aware of my actions today.

Thank you for letting me vent, I am going to think more about this episode and try to find an outlet other than anger.

Ken

Oh, Ken, you need to go to your local college and get a Nursing Drug Reference Book.

Atarak is not only a antihistamine, but is also an antianxiety/sedative-hypnotic, and antiemetic (means it's good for upset tummies).

Many of these meds cross over to help more than one condition and may be prescribed for several different things. So, you haven't wasted your money yet. This one takes about 2 days to begin to see a difference.

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, but school happens and life goes on. Tomorrow I may not be reachable at all as I have clinicals from 6:30 - 6:30 which means I will be gone from 5:15 - 7:30, but I will check in if I get a chance.

Thank you, I knew I could get a knowledgeable response from you about this medication.

Taking it 3 times a day, till next week Mon. when the doc. Is available.

And yes, I got a full 8 hours sleep last night, first of many, I hope!! :)


Ken

I am just checking in before I head off to clinicals to deliver babies today. Good to hear you got some sleep finally.

CHECK+++

Have a good day delivering the newborns...

Ken

I got some good support from Ken this morning and wanted to thank him again and also express my sympathy for his situation. Also, I agree that staying on medications can be a problem for anybody.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by J_9

Staying compliant is very hard for the individual as well as the health care worker. This pertains to all medications, not just those that deal with mental health aspects.

---

I want to give my experience as an example of why this is true. I have chronic pain and I am on a fentanyl patch and a low dose of methadone to control the pain. I need to change the patch every two days and I can only take a shower right before I put on a patch. If I wash my hair at the wrong time, it washes the drug out of the patch and I go into withdrawal early. I resent having to be on these drugs and having people tell me I am an addict (and not being able to take a bath whenever I want).

When I am feeling good or I am busy, I sometimes forget to take the methadone or forget to change the patch until I am in withdrawal. Even when the withdrawal is mild, I'm labile and tend to get more upset about things than I normally do. I cry easily. I too have experienced the shame of having said something or written something to a list that I later regretted. I tend to obsess and perseverate when I am in this state. Physically, I get very hot and sweat or have chills and can't regulate my temperature. Eventually, my pain gets worse and I feel like I have the flu.

And all this because I had a broken back and have chronic lower back pain. The drugs help me to function-- take care of my family and work, to have a life. But I don't know sometimes whether my feelings are me or the (lack of) drug. I don't trust my instincts anymore. If I have a disagreement with my boyfriend, he tells me it's the drugs not me, and I'm not sure.

I try really hard to stay on my schedule, and mostly I do, but sometimes even when I've been completey punctual, I go into withdrawal anyway, for reasons I don't understand. I don't know if there's poor quality control on the patches or if something like lack of sleep can make me go into withdrawal early. But I'm constantly trying to adjust my dose while NOT increasing the methadone so that I become dependent on higher and higher doses. I feel trapped by this stuff. The other day, I was expecting 30 people for a potluck I was hosting and I was in withdrawal. I hastily took some methadone so I wouldn't go curl up in a cormer and sleep (or worse, cry) in the middle of the party. But then I feel like I have to pay for that later, because I have taken "extra." I'm so tired of trying to remember what I took when and what I need to take when.

I never take anything to get high. I am ruthless with myself and defensive about this. But I'm not sure people believe me. Several people have asked me what the high from fentanyl is like and I tell them I don't know because I have never felt high from it.

Anyway, I feel a lot of sympathy for Ken's challenges, which are so much worse than my own. I think I have an inkling of what it must be like because I too have to deal with cycling moods and drugs. I don't know much more about bipolar than what I've learned from reading this thread or about the drugs he's on. But I do know what it's like to be so dependent on powerful drugs that make you feel better and yet not want to take them.
Good luck,
Asking

Medication compliance is hard no matter what med you are on, whether it be pain, mental health, antibiotics, etc... It's just really hard and up to basically the nurse (me) to teach why it is so important.

So,I had a few days of rest, but its back to the no sleep, some sleep, no sleep thing.

Seems too quick, but that's bi-polar for you.

This medication is different than Seraquil, I don't wake up hungover,groggy,or moody.

I do wake up with a headache though,although that might be from the lack of rest.

Only six days till I see the med doc. Can't wait.

The seroquel is good, it just takes so darn long to work. At least you got a little rest, that is something.

I'm sure the headache is from lack of rest as I didn't see it as a side-effect of the Atarak.

I bet you can't wait to see the med doc. I can't wait to hear what he says.

He is a listening doctor,asks what I want for meds, not what HE wants to give me.

The last one was a domineering psyche, and we had little to no relations.

AND BTW, weren't you going to lay down for a while... LOL