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Originally Posted by levylane

Ive already talked to a teacher and i dont want to tell them and bring them into this. i would feel bad if they had to deal with this to.

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That is why teachers are there, to deal with stuff like this. They would be THRILLED to help you. (I know -- I was a teacher.)

Its just that school starts on the 29th and I don't want them to have to deal with this along with planning their classes.

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Originally Posted by levylane

Its just that school starts on the 29th and i dont want them to have to deal with this along with planning their classes.

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That is what teachers want to do, help their students. A teacher won't be involved in your future care or counseling or spooning food into your mouth, but will connect you to the right person who will help you.

So I'm confused I thowup almost everything I eat but I eat more than a gold fish am I or am I not bulimic? I will talk to one of my teachers but what if I'm not bad enough?

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Originally Posted by levylane

so im confused i thowup almost everything i eat but i eat more than a gold fish am i or am i not bulimic? I will talk to one of my teachers but what if im not bad enough?

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You are bad enough. :) (Psst, I'm a counselor.)

I want you to deal with this or I may have to drive over to your house and haul you to a counselor myself.

Yes, you are bulimic. I will make a badge for you to wear if you like.

I eat way more than 1 goldfish maybe I am just a purger.. if there is such a thing. And I don't know if I am bad enough to need help.

You have no control of anything.

I have control over how much I eat and if I want to eat so I have some control.

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Originally Posted by levylane

i have control over how much i eat and if i want to eat so i have some control.

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And that's it?

Well I have control over my cutting and laxatives and my suicidal thoughts I have control over my school work and my friends that's all though.

What control do you have over your friends?

No like I have control over who I want my friends to be. I have control in my life its just not as much as I wish I had.

What do you want control over that you don't have now?

I want to be able to not eat and not feel guilty that my mom is mad at me for not eating and I want to be able to do things I want to with my friends and I want to go inside my friends houses.

You can't do that with your friends until you begin to eat normally again.

Why can't you go inside your friends' houses now?

Because my mom is afraid I will take medication from their houses or take razor blades from their houses or laxatives from them. Its not fair Im going to do the things I am weather I get the meds from them or my house. I feel guilty to, because sometimes I say I want to change and get help but the next day I don't and one day I will be super happy and outgoing then the next I am depressed and I don't know why I feel up and down all the time.

Question: how many laxatives is to many, for 1 dose?

One is too many.

levylane, I care about you and want you to get help. I want you to go to a therapist and kick this problem so you can enjoy life again. Okay? For me?

Well I am just starting to find a grove with my purging and the laxatives. I am going to be fine I'm not bad enough to get help. I would love to get help when I need it.