Do your parents and friends say you are at a healthy weight and make a good appearance?

If you are eating that small amount, your body is feeding on itself. Organs will eventually begin to fail and shut down.

Yeah they say that I am but all my friends are super skinny and I think I'm fat I eat. I am eating 15 crackers a day and only purging one time a day.

I'm am so sorry.

Why?

That you are deluding yourself and causing harm to yourself.

You must be very upset and even angry over your parents' situation.

Its not just them my real mom gave me up for adoption and I have never met my real dad the parents who want to separate are my adopted parents who are my great aunt and uncle but there the only family I know. I am okay with what I am doing to myself, I will have more friends when I am thinner, and my parents won't fight when Im not overweight.

"I will have more friends when I am thinner, and my parents wont fight when Im not overweight."

Ah. And there are the lies you are telling yourself.

Have more friends? How many do you have now, and how many more do you want?

People like us because we are thin?

I have a lot of friends Im friends with everyone at school, but I can't help but feel judged. I was bullied a lot when I was younger but I know more guys would like me and I would get more friends at school. I wouldn't have to walk around school like a pumpkin. When I feel good with myself so will everyone else. Just a couple more pounds and I will reach my goal and then I can stop.

No, you won't stop because you will have to maintain that goal and the only way to do that will be to continue to starve yourself.

You weren't bullied because of your weight.

I was bullied about everything my feet my mom my body my friends. I will maintain my weight once I get it where I want it but I will no longer purge and I will eat more I will just have to exercise more.

No, your body and weight and feet were not why you were bullied.

Has the bullying stopped? If so, why?

It has kind of stopped but if I was not bullied for my body then you can tell me why I was bullied.

You have already said it -- "When I feel good with myself so will everyone else."

Others noticed you don't feel good about yourself (for various reasons) and then bully you. It has nothing to do with your appearance and your body. The bullying has everything to do with how you feel about yourself.

How do you feel about yourself? Be honest.

I am fat,I am overweight. I am ugly without make up. I cause problems. I don't deserve to go to treatment for my problems.I feel like if I don't lose weight I would rather die. Sometimes I think everything would be better if I died. There are many more things wrong with me but really if I was smaller everything would be so much easier.

So you are just not good enough.

Yup

Your world is falling apart because of you. You are a bad person, not worth much.

Umm okay... thank you for that. You really know how to make someone feel better. Well at least I'm not the only one who thinks that.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by levylane

umm okay... thank you for that. You really know how to make someone feel better. Well at least im not the only one who thinks that.

---

I was not thinking that about you but summarizing what you are telling me.

So, for you, the body weight and feet and parent thing are only covers for what is really the problem.