When I meet my husband I wan't that into him or any other man for that fact. I was content just living my life without one. I know that I was a little mean to him in the beginning, but he was persistent and finally won me over with his patience and kindness. When I finally fell in love with him, he started being very possesive and always accused me of cheating with his friends, something I would never do. 1.5 years later we were still together and I was getting sick of him always accusing me of everything under the sun. I went away to another state for a few weeks to help my mother out and ran into a childhood friend. Went on a few dates, no sex just kissing. Realized that I did want to be with my boyfriend back home and broke it off. We wound up getting married and I told him about this other guy 2 years later because my conscious was not at ease. We got through it then, but from time to time he brings it up and everything else that he thought I was doing and brutally disrespects me. We have been married for almost three years and I am really getting sick and tired of defending myself. I admitted what I did wrong, but he feels that I did a lot worse to him as far as sleeping with his friend and things... horrible things that I would never be capable of doing. I understand that these outbursts are from him hurting, but I am hurting too! I am a good woman and a good wife to him. When it is good between us it is very good and we are in love, but when it is bad it is a total nightmare. I am 36 years old and he is 29, I am tired of dealing with this, but truly love him and I know that he loves me, but can we ever get past the past?

It would be wise to seek marital counseling. Sometimes couples can't find the right words and need an impartial person to help them communicate. If this is still being brought up when so much time has passed, you both need help to look toward the future and learn how to forgive.

It is possible to move on, but it sounds like there is a lot of insecurity here. Insecurity in someone cannot be fixed by a spouse. You've apologized and been faithful in your marriage... there isn't much more you can do besides participate in open communication and be patient while you both try to heal. Your hubby also needs to learn how not to be "brutally disrespectful" toward you. That's never okay in a relationship.

Good luck to you!

Your husband needs to realize that you were broken up with him at the time and weren't thinking about the possibility of getting back with him. He needs to go by that you chose to be with him and that you are making the marriage work.
Keep reassuring him you love him and are looking to the future not the past.
The two of you really should go to counseling.

I thank you both for your kind concern. I am trying to hang on. I know that we need the counseling but have been putting it off hoping for all of this to just disappear.

Marriage problems don't simply disappear. If you both are not willing to work on keeping the marriage together and seeking professional help, then the only solution is divorce.

Talk about counseling together, or figure you'll go through this up, and down abuse, for a long time to come. It doesn't just go away you have to work on it.