Well I am a Muslim guy... I met a Muslim girl recently and fell in love with her... now I am deciding to marry her... she told me that she was engaged to someone earlier for 6 years but she left the guy because she did not find his policies according to her needs and during those 6 years she had sex several times with the guy... and she is absolutely okay with that... she does not find anything wrong in that...

I really love this girl... but I keep thinking that will she always compare me with whom she had sex... will she leave me and go back to the guy... will she cheat me for him... if she can step back from 6 years of relation than we have hardly been together...

On other hand I am afraid that the other guy can spread the news that he had sex with the girl and can ruin our image... although the girl trust that guy and says he will never tell this to anyone... but I feel insecure...
What should I do... please help

Have you had sex with any women?

Take classes on how to approach things positively instead of your current doom and gloom approach.

Or since you have everything figure out, including this girl's future behavior for the next several years, set this girl free to find someone who will appreciate her. In other words, you are being silly, and that's putting it nicely.

How long have you been with her, how old are you, and have YOU had sex with her, or anyone else for that matter?

You 'really love her' BUT.
BUT
How does anyone love someone but?
You love people or you don't, and if you do, you love them the way they are.
You are not good for HER. You will be jealous and suspicious. You won't be able to make love. As years go by, any little difference between you will be magnified.

You need an arranged marriage with a guaranteed virgin teen girl who has never left her mother's side.

Neat factoid...

Even virgins can cheat after marriage. Just because she isn't a virgin doesn't mean she will cheat b

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Originally Posted by mackbook

Well I am a Muslim guy... I met a Muslim girl recently and fell in love with her... now I am deciding to marry her... she told me that she was engaged to someone earlier for 6year but she left the guy because she did not find his policies according to her needs and during those 6 years she had sex several times with the guy... and she is absolutely okay with that... she does not find anything wrong in that...

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There isn't anything wrong with this.

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Originally Posted by mackbook

I really love this girl... but I keep thinking that will she always compare me with whom she had sex... will she leave me and go back to the guy... will she cheat me for him... if she can step back from 6 years of relation than we have hardly been together...

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You're making a lot of assumptions here that will get you into trouble. She's with you, and might say yes to marrying you. She might compare you with the other man but probably not. She will know what she likes and how things work which will lead to a more furfilling sex life to be honest. Just because she's had sex with another man doesn't mean she'll do it again when she's not in a relationship with another man.

I have been in several relationships with women who've had sex with (many) men before me. During these relationships NONE of these women cheat on me with their exes or other men. This is not proof that she will not cheat on you, but an example that women who have had sex with men don't cheat on their current partners with previous partners. Your fears have no basis.

You're worried that you won't be good enough for her. The secret here is that every partner is different. What works with one person might not work with another. It will be different between you and her compared to her ex. The horrible secret here though is that the first few times you have sex with her it will be awkward as you're learning to physically love each other. It will get better, don't get discouraged.

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Originally Posted by mackbook

On other hand I am afraid that the other guy can spared the news that he had sex with the girl and can ruin our image... although the girl trust that guy and says he will never tell this to anyone... but I feel insecure...
What should I do... please help

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You need to have faith in your wife to be and not worry about this. It will put doubts in your head and things will go bad in the relationship.

Good luck.

Thanks for giving time and answering to my questions...
Know as all my doubt are clear I just want you all people
To pray for me that I may give her all the love I have for her throughout my life...

THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN..

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To pray for me that I may give her all the love

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That's 100% up to you, not anyone else.

As was mentioned... ANYONE can and might cheat after marriage. Being a virgin or not has absolutely NOTHING to do with it, nor does it make it more or less likely.

And that applies to men as well, not just women.

And some of the people you LEAST expect to do it would do it might be even more likely than people you might think would be the most likely to do it.

All you can do is hope your spouse views marriage as seriously as you yourself might.

You've gotten great advice so far. Just remember, the past is the past. We all have a past, but that past isn't the present or the future.

If you love her, love her for who she is, not what she did a long time ago. Love her for the person you fell in love with. Cherish her because you love her. Trust her, because she deserves your trust, as you deserve hers.

I realize that as a Muslim, marrying a girl that's not a virgin is a big deal. I don't really understand why, but it's not for me to judge.

Bottom line here, you say you love her. Would you rather end up with a virgin you don't really care for, don't love, may never love? Or will you let her past go and form a life with her because you love her?

The first time you and her have sex, will be the first time for both of you. No, she's not a virgin, but for you and her, it will be the first time together. It will be special because you love each other. It will be special because of how you feel about her. Your lives will be special if you treat her the way she deserves to be treated. With love.

The choice is yours.