I have just chucked out my husband!! Have I done the right thing?

We have from the start had trust issues after he cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship but at that point we decided to give it go... years on I have always had my doubts as to his faithfullness... we broke up for approx 6 weeks in the middle of last year but during this time he begged me to give it another go and declared his undying love etc (this break up was not down to trust in being faithful but to do with other lies) anyway we gave it another go, I have continuously had doubts but put them aside as I new nothing for sure... he stupidly let his guard down and I read a text conversation where he was talking ot a lady he slept with (he says during the time we had broken up) and has got pregnant! (again says baby is not his! )obviously h is not about to admit to all this but my saying no more and time to call it a day... am I wrong?? Should I believe him? He says during this talk with her he is not interested in her or the baby although she obvioulsy desperately wants him still and is very un aware of ME!

Is it just hard right now but is for the best??

My opinion on this matter is that trust is a very important factor in a relationship, if you cannot trust him then how can you truly love each other. I would also like to add that based on what you said your mistrust for this person is not unreasonable. So I would say yes it is for the best.

I'm very sorry you are going through this. Do you still love him?

Do the same problems keep resurfacing again and again? Have you tried counseling? Can you accept that your personal unhappiness is your own responsibility?

Does your spouse constantly put you down, attack your self-esteem, and/or criticize you? Do you have any respect for your spouse? Does your spouse respect you?

These are a few questions you might look at. Please let us know how you are doing and keep posting. We are here to help!:)

Hello Jo,

Kitkat pretty much asked all of the questions I had in mind. So I will not ask again. :)


It is hard to say for I do not know this man nor your history with him. I can say this though, I feel very strongly about you and he sitting down and REALLY getting to the root of the problem! Don't argue, just talk. Maybe counseling could help. Sometimes a third party, who is neutral can help out. If you are in love with him, well then you really need to think about it. If not, then what's the point? However, more info would be good from you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jo_dy

He says during this talk with her he is not interested in her or the baby although she obvioulsy desperately wants him still and is very un aware of ME!!

---

This is the bit that puzzles me , she is unaware of YOU ???


If that's the case then I think your doing the right thing , if he wasn't interested in HER he would just tell her about YOU.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by friend4u178

This is the bit that puzzles me , she is unaware of YOU ???


If thats the case then I think your doing the right thing , if he wasn't interested in HER he would just tell her about YOU.

---

Have to spread the rep, but that was my first thought.

Not only that, he was clearly keeping this other woman a secret from his spouse as well. I wouldn't trust him.

Counseling, maybe, but at this point I feel like maybe she was in a state of denial about her own feelings, and maybe she DOESN'T love him anymore. In that case, yeah move on.

Wow thank you everyone. I don't really no where to begin. I have always loved him and I don't doubt he loves me but I think ultimately he loves himself more. She was and still is unaware of me and he wouldn't put her straight, he is a natural born liar! We have tried counselling before but it doesn't last long and he opts out. This is not the first time he has cheated on me and I doubt since we got married she's not the only one, she's the only one I caught! I find it odd that I can love him still but not trust him even 1% with my feelings or emotions. I now have no respect for him and after what he has done he has shown me he has none for me and I wonder if he ever did. I am hurting so much that he could do this to me but apart from sorry all he says is we were not together! In her text she was saying she hopes he finds someone to love and someone that will love him! He fooled the poor woman about himself and she still wants him and is having his baby, there is no denial of the baby in his text... just that she's sorry he isn't interested. I told him over and over again it doesn't matter if we had broke up, you were begging me to come home and sleeping with her too and were MARRIED! Hello, does that mean nothing, obviously not to him

I think what he has done is provide the proof in the pudding.

While one side of your brain is being logical and putting the truth together, the other side is saying, is it really true? Am I seeing this right?

You have already taken one big step, and that is booting him out. History is likely to repeat itself in that you will get the song and dance of remorse and reconcilliation, so be prepared to stand firm.

I was going to suggest counselling, but you've already tried that, and in a nutshell said that he loves himself more than he loves you, or loves being married.

I understand what you mean when you say that you find it odd that you can love a man you cannot trust even 1%. But realize that love is just not enough to keep a marriage going. You can love somebody and hate what they do, much like teenagers behaviour, but to choose to live a life with a man who continuously breaks his vows, has no moral compass, and leads a selfish, lying, cheating life, well- what's the point.

Not to mention he has produced a child with another woman that is inconsequential to him. (until he starts paying child support that is... )

Put the love aside, and think long and hard about what your life would be like with him, and then without him. You cannot change him, no matter what you do, or how many promises he makes to be a different man, and a different person.

Had that been possible, it would have happened long before now.

You have hit the nail on the head and see it clearer than me!

Life with him would mean me going mad with suspicion and doubt and I would driv ehim mad with it too. Life without would be hard too, I would miss his good points but I'm now wondering if it was all an act.

He loves being married and being seen within the community as this strong stable happy hard working man so why mess it up!? One of the things I have always asked from him is to not to lie to me and to be faithful and he couldn't even do that...

History has repeated itself and now I'm away from him all kinds of things are beginning to add up for his behaviour and actions and I wonder what was real and what wasn't... because its in his nature to lie I would never know the truth.

Its sad because somewhere inside he is a good man, I pity him and the women he will be with in the future because he won't change!

That's a good point, it is very sad. No doubt he has his good points, and it is a shame that he can't realize when he has a good thing going, and deliberately makes choices that are contrary to what he should be doing.

It doesn't take much really in my opinion to have personal commitments to another, and keep them. It does, and can happen. Why an otherwise good person would choose to take risks and suffer the consequences is a puzzle I'll never figure out.

I agree that he likely won't change, and the plus side of that is you are putting this all together, and your future will be so much happier without him.

This isn't going to be easy for you, and you'll probably go back and forth a million times, but, you'll be okay I promise you.

Many have been where you are now.

I am finding it so hard and what's even sadder is I would put money on it he is already in someone else's bed. I am angry that I let him do this to me and that he could do this to me, I stupidly believed him when he said loved me and wouldn't hurt me :(. I just don't no how he could do it to me and how he has no regret or remorse or morals about what's right or wrong or he does but chooses to ignore them.
I don't no what to do or where to go from here, he will without a doubt try the usual tac of leaving me for a bit then promising the world to come back but I can't for myself do it. This is so hard :(

Jody, you are going to get through this, and on a better path in your life.

Accept that you are going to have some really difficult times getting through this, it can't be avoided. In your worst or weakest moments, keep looking past the pain, to that freedom light at th end of the tunnel.

It is greiving a loss. Anytime somebody significant dies, or a relationship dies, you go through what nature has provided for healing. Accepting it may be the start of your healing, and every stage will make you stronger, as time goes on. Eventually you will be settled with the fact that what you experienced getting over him, is over, and it will be a settled memory for you.

It is sometimes easy to skip parts, and what that also does is skip the learning and changing so you can move on with a clean slate. Sometimes skipping those parts can be dangerous, because it is all too easy to blur the truth, and go running back to what was familiar.

Try getting a diary or notebook, and write in it everyday all the mixed up emotions and feelings that you have. Try to keep it to the same time of day. If you are at work, and it gets overwhelming, just think, I can put this aside for now, I will write it out in my book.

Make a cup of tea, sit down, and write your heart out. Then put it away until the next time you need it. Over time, you will see the progress you have made, and things will become far less emotional, and more factual, mixed with parts of anger, parts of affectionate times, parts of a life with him that is not going to happen.

It's hard work getting past such a tremendous loss. Love is not always an easy emotion to make sense of, and no two breakups result in the same outcomes.

Keep working on it, and trust yourself that you have the strength and fortitude to do it.

Thank you for the advice.

I keep sitting here asking myself the same questions... why and how could he do it to me??

I am a believer in bad things happen to bad people so what did I do to deserve this?

I know I'm right that it doesn't matter if we were separated for a short time due to his lies that it makes it right for him to sleep with someone else... why does he think that makes it OK... its not OK for me!!

Its early days yet but I am struggling with this more than I ever thought I would

And also is that where the lies end... was my whole marriage a complete sham? I dread to think of what else or who else there might be out there...

What is okay, and what is not okay, for you, only you can decide. You don't need to justify your feelings to anyone- they are what they are.

Sometimes we 'allow' ourselves to feel good about ourselves,because our significant other says we are deserving. We feel good because they say we should, we are grateful for their company, because we aren't sure we could do any better. Our identity changes because that is how the relationship works.

It is his needs first, his moods, his goals, his meals, his ego, his sexual needs, his needs sometimes define who we are in that relationship, and we lose ourselves.

When the imbalanced relationship and relationship roles come to an end, we are left wondering, who the hell am I? The sense of self, along with confidence, self assurance, and identity has been compromised so much, that there is as much work to be done on ourselves, as there is in getting over the relationship.

It is almost rebuilding yourself from the bottom up. While working so hard to make the relationshp work, your needs were not met, and you lost interests, goals, friends etc. along the way. Maybe not so much for you, but generally speaking, toxic relationships cost us dearly.

This is where time is your friend. It is a scary prospect to define who we are, now outside of the relationship, instead of on the inside.

Eventually you will realize that your needs are not being met, and it is time to focus on you, and what you need and want, and the courage not to settle because you don't think you can do better.

You will never figure out why he is the person he is, and chooses to be. That's his problem, let him deal with it and move on in his own way.

Try to think not so much about why he did these things to you, and more about how this 'opportunity' has presented itself for you to forge a happy life for yourself.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jake2008

What is okay, and what is not okay, for you, only you can decide. You don't need to justify your feelings to anyone- they are what they are.

Sometimes we 'allow' ourselves to feel good about ourselves,because our significant other says we are deserving. We feel good because they say we should, we are grateful for their company, because we aren't sure we could do any better. Our identity changes because that is how the relationship works.

It is his needs first, his moods, his goals, his meals, his ego, his sexual needs, his needs sometimes define who we are in that relationship, and we lose ourselves.

When the imbalanced relationship and relationship roles come to an end, we are left wondering, who the hell am I? The sense of self, along with confidence, self assurance, and identity has been compromised so much, that there is as much work to be done on ourselves, as there is in getting over the relationship.

It is almost rebuilding yourself from the bottom up. While working so hard to make the relationshp work, your needs were not met, and you lost interests, goals, friends etc. along the way. Maybe not so much for you, but generally speaking, toxic relationships cost us dearly.

This is where time is your friend. It is a scary prospect to define who we are, now outside of the relationship, instead of on the inside.

Eventually you will realize that your needs are not being met, and it is time to focus on you, and what you need and want, and the courage not to settle because you don't think you can do better.

You will never figure out why he is the person he is, and chooses to be. That's his problem, let him deal with it and move on in his own way.

Try to think not so much about why he did these things to you, and more about how this 'opportunity' has presented itself for you to forge a happy life for yourself.

---

Jody.. I'm sorry, I really am! It's horrible when someone you trust
Treats you so badly! Bad things do happen to good people. Don't let this man ruin your trust in everyone. It will take time , but listen to me hating and resenting takes a lot out of you.
.
Let him go. Once trust is gone it can never be truly restored. I think you're feeling some shame on your part as if you did something to warrant his behaviour. YOU DID NOT! You gave him love and made a beautiful home and you didn't break the marriage vows, he did!

I am so sorry but he will not change and you deserve some peace and contentment in your life. Leave and make sure you take him to the cleaners. Clean out half of everything. Or make him leave! You are the one in control. Keep posting. :)

I just don't understand how nad why and keep asking myself the same question again and again... I just can't believe and I don't know how he could do it to me

I don't know what to think anymore about what was real and what wasn't... how many others... how did he think he could get away with it... how can he think that us being on a break makes it OK ish...

Was our marriage real? How much of a fool did he make of me... I feel like he used me for the appearance of a happy marriage and to enjoy all the benefits of a happy marriage and home and to mess around on the side... BUT WHY??

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jo_dy

I just dont understand how nad why and keep asking myself the same question again and again.....i just can't beleive and i dont know how he could do it to me

I dont know what to think anymore about what was real and what wasnt......how many others.....how did he think he could get away with it.......how can he think that us being on a break makes it ok ish......

Was our marriage real? how much of a fool did he make of me.....i feel like he used me for the appearance of a happy marriage and to enjoy all the benefits of a happy marriage and home and to mess around on the side....BUT WHY????????????

---

Sweetie... There's no answer I can give you that will magically take away your pain. I will tell you this.. it isn't anything you did! He's just a cheater. He wants a sweet wife at home who caters to him
And keeps up the façade of the happy couple. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.

I hope when he cheated he had sense enough to use a condom! There are dangers to you if he didn't. I say listen to your head. There are relationships experts on this forum who can really help you.
Hey we have all been there. My first husband was also a cheater. :(

Oh he never used anythig as he got her pregnant too! Although says he doesn't believe its his and wants nothing to do with it... again what he says doesn't mean it is real... I have no doubt its his and who really knows if he is still seeing her!

I know it'll get easier it just hurts so much and as per the norm he isn't hurting one bit

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jo_dy

Oh he never used anythig as he got her pregnant too!! although says he doesnt believe its his and wnats nothing to do with it.....again what he says doesnt mean it is real.....i have no doubt its his and who really knows if he is still seeing her!!

I know it'll get easier it just hurts so much and as per the norm he isnt hurting one bit

---

Is the baby here! You can always ask, no DEMAND, he get DNA tested.
And the other woman or women, they could care less how a wife feels.
YOU deserve more! I would tell him him if the child is his, he will never be free of the woman. And she will also demand child support, which is the right thing for him to do.

You and that little baby are the ones who are the victims! The baby didn't ask to be brought into this world. Chin up now and we will help you through this. I think your husband is a snake.:mad:

He wouldn't have a DNA and I don't doubt his saying he don't think the baby is his just to try and make this better... somehow!! He will not pay child support either for the child, I know him to well and he won't.

The other woman has no idea about me and he won't put her straight either... I keep having these really good moments when I know I'm free of him and have SO done the right thing then I go to bed and want to cry at the situation and how he could done that to me!!

What really kills me is that I married him for no other reason than loving him, I have stuck by him through all his crap for him to do this to me. It hurts that my marriage is over, my family is torn apart because of him.

Being married meant something to me and so many times he has made me feel awful for various reasons about not being the best wife or house keeper and he does this... dont get me wrong when he says this sort of thing I just laugh as I know I'm worth 10 of him even when we were together but still the cheek of him!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jo_dy

He wouldnt have a DNA and i dont doubt his saying he dont think the baby is his just to try and make this better....somehow!!! He will not pay child support either for the child, i know him to well and he wont.

The other woman has no idea about me and he wont put her straight either....i keep having these really good moments when i know im free of him and have SO done the right thing then i go to bed and want to cry at the situation and how he could done that to me!!!

---

I'm not so sure about the child support, but if she demands a DNA test in order to obtain child support a judge could make him him do it.

You need to confront this woman and ask her straight out about what's going on between her and your husband. Take a friend with you and if you have to follow him to find out where she lives do it!

Better to know where your marriage stands than to go on wondering. As for the neighbors, you would probably be surprised at what they know. People have a way of seeing through things. To have some sort of peace in your life you have to try to bring this to a head.:)

This is where it gets complicated, firstly she has no need as he is not denying the baby to her, just to me! The reason the child support is not a problem is that they won't be able to track him down to pay... but mostly I can't contact her... he has the potential to be very violent when pushed and this would oush him, he has already warned about making contact with anyone he knows and letting them know anything or asking anything etc... the more I type the more I know I done the right thing!

I am not worreid about the neighbours or what anyone thinks, I'm upset at how I view us being married as being important and he doesn't... its killing me that he did this to me

Ask yourself questions
Do you love him?
Do you want to be with him?
Can you see him in your future?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by raerae811

ask your self questions
do you love him?
do you want to be with him?
can you see him in your future?

---

He WARNED you? I don't know what to say! Jodi... don't take this wrong please, if my husband were doing this I would do the exact opposite of what he told me to do.

You deserve to be treated like a good woman instead of a possession. If he ever hits you have his cheating butt thrown in jail.
I am angry for you. Don't put yourself through this. Leave, separate for a while. Why is it happening to you ? Because he's a creep who doesn't realize all he stands to lose.

If you fear him get out! YOU DESERVE BETTER! :mad:

Jody

The unfortunate thing is that you have to go through this cr*p because he is a sleazebag , it's really important to remember that it's him and not you who has ruined this marriage. Sure you were fooled by him , you've been humilated and it does strike a blow.

It's going to be hard for a while , very hard , and he's going to try the same old tricks to try and persuade you back , but you just have to be strong and realise that all the hurt will be worth getting him out of your life in the long run.

We'll all be here for you to talk to and vent , just think of the positives , and that is with time you'll finally be free of this dropkick and will have the freedom to meet someone who's going to treat you with the respect you deserve.

I don't doubt I love him but no its not enough to make a marriage work. He has never hit me but the fear he is more than capable is there, I have always done what I wanted regardless of him telling me to do one thing or another but I no how he will be if I was to contact this woman and really I have to ask myself why would I contact her when I already they slept together, he doesn't deny that, he denies the poor baby to me. For me knowing he slept with someone else while married to me is enough to end it, he knows how I feel about being faithful and couldn't do it, although of course for him we weren't together at the time...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jo_dy

I dont doubt i love him but no its not enough to make a marriage work. He has never hit me but the fear he is more than capable is there, i have always done what i wanted regardless of him telling me to do one thing or another but i no how he will be if i was to contact this woman and really i have to ask myself why would i contact her when i already they slept together, he doesnt deny that, he denies the poor baby to me. For me knowing he slept with someone else while married to me is enough to end it, he knows how i feel about being faithful and couldnt do it, although of course for him we werent together at the time....

---

Leave for a while! Before you do put itching powder in his underwear. That'll stop his cheating he'll be too busy scratching.:D


http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/s...r_Marriage_is_
Over.htm - 19k

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jo_dy

I dont doubt i love him but no its not enough to make a marriage work. He has never hit me but the fear he is more than capable is there, i have always done what i wanted regardless of him telling me to do one thing or another but i no how he will be if i was to contact this woman and really i have to ask myself why would i contact her when i already they slept together, he doesnt deny that, he denies the poor baby to me. For me knowing he slept with someone else while married to me is enough to end it, he knows how i feel about being faithful and couldnt do it, although of course for him we werent together at the time....

---

Married means together no matter what (while married), not for only when you two are happy with each-other. He's a disgusting little man for thinking that it's the same as if you two were dating. I think he changed the definition of Marriage to suit his own needs, and when it's not going good for him, even though you're separated, it doesn't mean over necessarily. He's stupid. I'm just going to be blunt. Right now I'm imagining that crazy-white- rabbit from Monty Python attacking his genitals.. . :rolleyes:

It's pathetic that he can't keep it in his zipper, you kicked him out because of that and you say that you wouldn't be surprised if he were with another woman already?
You're DEFINITELY doing the right thing by making him leave, and I agree with Kat when I say, take his scummy self to the cleaners.

Also, you've always done what he said because you were scared of what he was capable of? That's abuse through intimidation. I'm sure he KNOWS that you get scared, so he uses it to keep himself looking like "Mister Clean" instead of filth.

I say that since you kicked him out, find the woman and talk to her. Don't blame her, because you said yourself that she doesn't know about you, but tell her the situation.

Keep mace on hand in case your husband finds out and threatens you, (if it's legal, pepper spray) That way you can have a better chance of protecting yourself and calling the cops should he get violent.

Good luck.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ohsohappy

Married means together no matter what (while married), not for only when you two are happy with each-other. He's a disgusting little man for thinking that it's the same as if you two were dating. I think he changed the definition of Marraige to suit his own needs, and when it's not going good for him, even though you're seperated, it doesn't mean over necessarily. He's stupid. I'm just going to be blunt. Right now I'm imagining that crazy-white- rabbit from Monty Python attacking his genitals. . . :rolleyes:

It's pathetic that he can't keep it in his zipper, you kicked him out because of that and you say that you wouldn't be surprised if he were with another woman already?
You're DEFINITELY doing the right thing by making him leave, and I agree with Kat when I say, take his scummy self to the cleaners.

Also, you've always done what he said because you were scared of what he was capable of? That's abuse through intimidation. I'm sure he KNOWS that you get scared, so he uses it to keep himself looking like "Mister Clean" instead of filth.

I say that since you kicked him out, find the woman and talk to her. Don't blame her, because you said yourself that she doesn't know about you, but tell her the situation.

Keep mace on hand in case your husband finds out and threatens you, (if it's legal, pepper spray) That way you can have a better chance of protecting yourself and calling the cops should he get violent.

good luck.

---

:)Jodi please keep posting.. We care!

Thank you everyone for your advice and support, it really is helping me :-)

I spoke to him briefly this morning and I got upset... can you believe he had the nerve or arrogance to say he doesn't see why I'm so upset... then to say he doesn't care anyway... all the usual rubbish of your be fine etc and I just said damn right ill be fine.

He really thinks his done nothing wrong as again I got the we weren't together chat... I hate him for hurting me.

OK I hate to suggest this because I am not defending him in anyway. I agree with most if not all of the other posters. I do have to suggest maybe a sex addiction though. I really hate to give him the benefit of the doubt after him doing so much to you, but I just don't know. Heck maybe he is just a weak weak little man that just can't keep it under control.

Sorry you were put through this all, hope things get better for you

Sex addiction, arrogant, selfish, needy, pitiful man... he is all the above... whatever it may be it doesn't excuse us being married, separated or not sleeping with someone else and getting her pregnant!! She isn't the first or last...

You are right. I was merely offering a non-bias suggestion. I know you are probaby totally right in your thoughts of him. But you came here asking if you did the right thing. I think you did, however I know there are possible (if not lame) excuses for idiot acts. I am sorry this happened to you, again, and I just hope you can find some peace of mind soon here. I do not like people who don't learn.
Someone once told me that there are two types of cheaters 1. (me) the guy who cheats once and learns that he will never allow himself to do it again. 2. the guy (or girl on both) that does it repeatedly and never learns. In my opinion, he is a #2. Sorry.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Larken85

You are right. I was mearly offering a non-bias suggestion. I know you are probaby totally right in your thoughts of him. But you came here asking if you did the right thing. I think you did, however I know there are possible (if not lame) excuses for idiot acts. I am sorry this happened to you, again, and i just hope you can find some peace of mind soon here. I do not like people who don't learn.
Someone once told me that there are two types of cheaters 1. (me) the guy who cheats once and learns that he will never allow himself to do it again. 2. the guy (or girl on both) that does it repeatedly and never learns. In my opinion, he is a #2. Sorry.

---

Jodi.. How are you doing today? I think it's good you're venting. Did you glance through the article? Sream, cry, throw things and if he calls again don't answer. Let him know what it's like to worry. Go out to dinner with friends or go visit family.

Go visit the woman so you will know what you are dealing with! Tell her what a liar he is. Take mace with you and as one of the post staed, if he gets violent with you spray his eyes full of it. You are going to have to do this for your piece of mind. He's called all the shots so far, now it's
Your turn. YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS! Fight back legally!

I didn't mean to sound like I was having a go at you Larken, sorry :-)

He is def a number 2 in so many ways in this situation. He has many issues and I think a bit of a con man to add on top

I got up this morning feeling OK, bit down but nothing too much to get me down then he calls (to speak to our child (step child) ) and I get upset! He says he is not bothered if I'm upset or hurt and doesn't see why I should be but then texts me he really wishes I wasn't hurting!!

Its difficlt to explain but there is no way of me seeing or talking to this other woman, I have tried and she isn't responding, I have no doubt he got to her already and she now won't respond! He is very good at that, I am probably some mad woman he doesn't even know as far as she is now concerned! And I have no other way of contacting her

I will look at the link you posted when I finish work and will be starting divorce proceeding as I can

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jo_dy

I didnt mean to sound like i was haveing a go at you Larken, sorry :-)

He is def a number 2 in so many ways in this situation. He has many issues and i think a bit of a con man to add on top

I got up this morning feeling ok, bit down but nothing to much to get me down then he calls (to speak to our child (step child) ) and i get upset!! He says he is not bothered if im upset or hurt and doesnt see why i should be but then texts me he really wishes i wasnt hurting!!!

Its difficlt to explain but there is no way of me seeing or talking to this other woman, i have tried and she isnt responding, i have no doubt he got to her already and she now wont respond!! He is very good at that, i am probably some mad woman he doesnt even know as far as she is now concerned! And i have no other way of contacting her

I will look at the link you posted when i finish work and will be starting divorce proceeding as i can

---

If you go with this are doing it because you are fed up and tired of this?
I hope he realizes what he has done... Keep us posted.

I am doing this because there is no hope for us, as soon as he builds up any trust he messes it up even worse than what it was before, I have had enough of wondering what his up to now and with who... its not a way to live and I can never forgive this most recent thing.

I would like to think he realises what he's done but I doubt and think he won't stop with which ever poor sole he gets with next... he is some one who realises things weeks later and then gets angry and tries to blame others but NEVER learns

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jo_dy

I am doing this because there is no hope for us, as soon as he builds up any trust he messes it up even worse than what it was before, i have had enough of wondering what his up to now and with who....its not a way to live and i can never forgive this most recent thing.

I would like to think he realises what he's done but i doubt and think he wont stop with which ever poor sole he gets with next....he is some one who realises things weeks later and then gets angry and tries to blame others but NEVER learns

---

Good for you! You be sure if he starts getting violent , call the police.
Don't be alone with him when he gets divorce papers. Keep a can of mace and get a Order of Protection against him. We'll see how the "the stud" acts when he's standing before a judge and everyone hears what a louse he is. You Go Girl! :)