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I think he/she only read the first post. But either way that still doest make sense to me, as my first post was about him spending money we don't have and then complaining about not having any. Not ME complaining about not having money.Quote:
Originally Posted by moni1210
When a thread goes over 16 pages ,it's a good idea to keep up with the thread or the post just comes off as questionable!Quote:
Originally Posted by jenniepepsi
Also ,it is of no real benefit to the O.P. as what applied then clearly does not apply now!
When I first started on this site, WAY back when I was 26:D I read the instructions, but still had no idea that there were more than one page of posts.:eek:
I think I was blind, until Starby yelled at some one else for doing the same thing and then I caught on:rolleyes:
There are INSTRUCTIONS? :eek:
I never read any... :o
All I have to add, Jennie, is if he hit you, for ANY reason, I don't blame you.
All I have to add, everyone else, is who reads instructions? I just skimmed them, and link them for the ppl hoo tlk n txt spk, kuz itz anoyng!!!!!111
Actually HH, I didn't read the instructions... :o But I have the habit to learn as I use, so... I never liked chat speak neither, because that may ruin my english, which is tested every year, so yeah. As for the rules, I learned when the others tell to the newbies to read the rules, that ---- is not permitted, etc, etc.
Hey everyone. Those of you who do, can you pray for my grandma? And those who don't, keep her in your thoughts?
She is better. Much healthier. On antibiotics, no more fever, and is eating well again and getting her strength back. Thankfully I think the MS attack is gone too.
But one of her bed sores, got SO bad during her MS attack and infection, it is now a gaping whole on her bottom :( literally. I'm not kidding. It looks like the doctor cut her open down to the muscle and fatty tissue and took a circle of skin away.
She had 'escar' ? Is how it SOUNDS when the doctor told us. I think its spelled non phonetically though.
Here is the closest picture I could find (graphic, if your sensitive please don't click, this is mostly for the ladies with medical backgrounds who may want to see, or anyone who is curious)
http://www.silvermedicine.org/beforepackwound1c.jpg
Now, this isn't her, I didn't want to subject her to a picture of her butt :(
But her wound is about the same size, but deeper.
They used a wound vac to get the escar cleared away, and its finally starting to heal with the 'wet to dry' we got from the doctor until we can get a portable wound vac to use (my aunt is a licensed RN and my mom has been trained to care for her wounds)
But please pray for a speedy recovery for her.
I never thought I would say this, but I am SO thankfull for the MS making her a paraplegic 5 years ago, because if she was able to FEEL this, it would be TERRIBLE for her...
Ow! (I looked.) I will think good thoughts for your granny.
Take care, Jennie
I have been through and abusive relationship and I can say this... If you can't make it work through a councilor, then you need to go while you can. He can still be a dad you can still be a mom, separately. The one thing I have seen no one focus on is the child. My goodness, how do you think she will view a relationship when she is older. Do you really believe that this is a healthy life for her? To show her that buying cigarettes is more important than her school supplies? To have to listen yelling and cussing? I know this little girl loves both her mom and her dad, but remember what your teaching her with this life. You don't have to take her away to take yourself away. NEVER NEVER stay in a bad or abusive relationship for the sake of a child, all its does is cause more damage and continue the cycle. Children who have witnessed abuse are far more likely to grow up and get in an abusive relationship themselves or become an abuser. Give yourself a break. Go to your moms for awhile. Take some time to breath and focus on what YOU want out of your life. Don't be a financial or emotional hostage.
Do the math, if he is over drawing your account that much, it is costing you a lot of money all by itself. Go to your local Dept of Human services and ask for some help. Go to a councilor BY Yourself. And make a choice that is right for you and your daughter. If you chose to stay... put your foot down and stick to your ultimatum. He will either come around and prove he can change or prove to you its time to go.
Good luck girl.
Hey hon.
You got to read everything. But thanks for all that. I left him for good because he punched me in the face over a stupid phone call because I wouldn't put the call on hold to tell him what was for dinner (it was a call about my grandma who was sick)
But thanks *hugs* I do see a counselor of my own.
Quote:
Originally Posted by proudmom2
Holy cow... I didn't see how long this thing was. I only got through the first page or two. So guess Im totally lost. Glad you left.
Jennie, your grandmother is in my thoughts and prayers. So are you and Ayla.
I second that Cat... Eww, that seems really awful that hole :( Your grandmother is in my prayers :)
He is in jail!
Don't ask me WHY it took so long for them to arrest him. Maybe they were investigating or something. I hope so because they would also see that all my life I have lived without being admitted to the mental wing of the hosptial. But as soon as I was with him, I was in and out several times a year. And then I'm sure they got my record from the urgent care clinic for my jaw. My family says no one talked to them though.
But he is in jail for 90 days. And the restraining order went through so he isn't allowed around either me or my daughter, and that also means, I get off the rent and electric bills.
Well, I take it as good news for you Jennie! :) I hope once he's out, he won't be looking for you :eek: That would be the worst thing that can happen which I can think of. Better for you and him that he forgets you.
All I can say is "wow!" :eek:
I hope this means that things are working out for you.
How are you and Ayla holding up? :)
Ugh I agree, I hope he doesn't sit in jail and stew on this awhile. Then get out even more ticked off. Sure there is a restraining order but that doesn't stop everybody.
I am so happy for you and your daughter. Are you still at your moms? Are you working and its going OK? How is your grandmother?
Grandma is getting much better. She has an appointment with a surgeon to look at the wound and decide to surgecly close it or not. And she is physically well aside from the wound its self.
I agree. I hope he doesn't get out of jail and come looking for us. But the bonus is I am still at my moms house, and my uncle lives here. And issac KNOWS my uncle lives here. As well as my father who is retired military and a war vet. I don't think he would risk that. And the school knows he is not allowed anywhere NEAR ayla and if he were to go to the school they would call the police and have him arrested again.
All is going well. I am in a GED prep course. I looked at all the local schools and couldn't find a college that would allow me to start school before getting the GED. I knew that a college in WA state had one like that because my mom went to it, but none here that I could find.
I do some online surveys here at home at night before bed. I haven't earned any money like they promised yet lol but at least they aren't charging me anything lol.
I also have a friend now, who lives next door, and on days I don't go to the GED class, me and her take the girls to school (her daughter is in aylas class) we hang out at the coffee shop to relax. Its nice. I never got to do that when married to issac for some reason. He never said no. but something always stopped me from asking if I could.
And now that I think about it... I really didn't need his permission in the first place. I'm slowly working through my co-dependant submissive issues. I doubt I will ever stop being submissive as that is just who I am. But at least I can have some more self confidance and be more independent
I am very glad that your grandmother is doing better. I hope she has a speedy recovery.
Have fun studying and spending time with your new friend. :)
I'm glad to here things are going well for you :)
Everything is going on great then! Well, only remains the studies. Good luck for those GED courses! :)
To whomever suggested that I get the book "when Dad Hurts Mom' by Lundy Bancroft
Thank yoU SO MUCH! I got it from the library yesterday and I have been reading it. And I'm not sure if its true, or if this writer is biased or something, but from what this writer says, my soon to be ex husband was (and still is) abusive towards me in SO MANY ways that I never noticed. Probably because of my experience with my daughters father who was 'truely' abusive physically beating me and raping me, I didn't notice when my husband angrily demanded I come home from my neighbors house after only 30 minutes of talking with her (about unimportant girl stuff) or when he corners me against the kitchen counter to tower over me and yell at me. Granted, I yelled back sometimes, and I was wrong, but I'm almost positive that I wasn't as threatening or intimidating as he was.
So thanks for this book. I haven't gotten to the advice about helping the kids with it yet, I'm still reading through the beginning where he is describing different abuse scenarios. But I LOVE this book!
I hope this doesn't make me sound mean or judgemental or critical or anything but id like to get some opinions on it.
It seems very 'conveinient' and more than coincidence to me.
Issac found out yesterday that I filed the police report about him destorying my things. And he called me this morning to say he was so so sorry about it and he was angry and didn't mean to and he was sorry.
Its been a month. Is it wrong of me to NOT take this apologie at face falue? I accepted it politely. But I honestly don't believe it.
Your husband is mentally challenged, what happens if you don't take the apology at face value? Nothing changes, what's done is done. He lost his cool, it's hard to believe that when faced with a consequence he wouldn't regret his actions.
Is he calling from jail?
Since the apology came after he found out he was in trouble for his actions, face value isn't much.
If he had apologized before finding out about the police report, I would put more stock in it. As it is, it sounds like something a lawyer would suggest to try to lessen the damages.
I hope all is still going well for you and Ayla and your grandmother.
I am a day late on this but in my opinion who cares what he says at this point. He did it and its done. You can't get those things back. Sorry won't bring them back.Quote:
Originally Posted by jenniepepsi
Even if he wasn't in trouble, he would probably attempt to contact you. He's your husband. Real love and feelings don't disolve over night From this point what is most important is what you do with the contact that you have with him. If you take it at face value isn't as important at this point. If you edcide to take him back without first seeking help or counseling that might not be in your best interest. I think it's important that you grow from the experience just as much as he does. Live and learn and apply what you learn and you'll get there.
Someone dropped the ball if he was allowed to call from jail!Quote:
Originally Posted by jenniepepsi
He would have to call collect and if would be a violation of a restraining order for him to contact you.
You should not even be on his "call " sheet from jail.
How can he call you? Look above.Quote:
Originally Posted by jenniepepsi
Thank you, Artsy.
All calls from jail are collect and they are required to state that the calls are placed from a correctional facility at which point you are asked to accept the call.
Telephone contact is a direct violation of Order of Protection, there is to be NO CONTACT via email, telephone or person.
Does jail for 90 days actually mean 90 days in this case or is it one of those things where they're sentenced for a certain amount of time and then are able to get out early? Like if someone were sentenced to 10 years but then eligible for parole after 6 years? Or however that works.
I wasn't trying to imply that he hadn't broken the order. I agree 100% that he did. But if he were out then I would at least understand how he was able to place the call to her.
*sigh* I'm just goonna stop updating you guys. I'm tired of being called a liar and crap.
I don't know how or why he called me. I DID tell the police officer on my case and tell him he called me, and told him why he called me. The number showed up on my cell as 'unknown'
I'm sorry I don't have all the details. I'm sorry I don't know what's going through his mind. I'm sorry I don't know EVERYTHING that is going on.
Jennie, the fact is that every time you update there's another inconsistency.Quote:
Originally Posted by jenniepepsi
If he's in jail for 90 days and you have an order of protection against him then he wouldn't be allowed to call you. Also, you would have to accept the charges, even if the call came through as "unknown" which also doesn't make sense.
This isn't adding up, that's why we're questioning it.
Put yourself in our shoes, read your posts from an outside perspective, what would you think?
Jennie, I am glad you are getting on with your life. Isaac has made some bad decisions, so let him be. That means do not talk to him if he calls. Let a go-between correspond with him. Why give him a chance when you've already made up your mind? "I'm sorry" doesn't take away the fact that he HIT YOU.
Good luck to you.
Jennie, no matter how he got a hold of you, do NOT go back.
All the jails that I know (which is sad that I have this knowledge) are always collect calls. No one has a phone, they take everything away from them. If he is still in jail he could not have called you. Maybe he is out on good behavior:confused: if so, they should have informed you, so you could be prepared.
I'm sure that you saved the message, so make sure that you show it to the police. It would be a violation (I think) since you have the restraining order. They can find out what number it came from and then go from there. Maybe some one snuck in a phone and he decided to harass you.
Who Knows! But I never answer 'unknown' numbers unless it's Unky:D
I don't see why it would need to be a collect call if it is a local call.
Also, he got Jennie directly. There was no "message" to save.
But I agree, Jennie, if he calls again, tell him you will not talk to him and hang up.
Congratulations on all your successes!
If you call from a correctional facility, it has to be announced and the jail isn't going to pay for you to make calls while you are incarcerated. The only calls you can make are collect because they will not pay for inmates to sit on the phone with whomever for however long.Quote:
Originally Posted by asking
According to Jennie, last week, Isaac was incarcerated for 90 days for battery, now that inhibits him from making calls unless they are collect. He would not be released for 'good behavior' as at most you gain one day for everyday served. It's worth determining how/why he is able to call her. If he has posted a bail/bond, that would make the situation make sense, but on a whole the situation has holes.
Jennie, we are here to help. I have a hard time following your posts because they always are so dramatic with information that often contradicts itself. I have no doubt that your life is dramatic, but the first step to getting your life in order is to be in charge of it and know what is going on. Maybe you don't know why or how Isaac called you, but you should have hung up as soon as you determined that it was him. Stop the insanity in your own life by being in charge of it, right now all I get is that you enjoy all of the chaos of your own life. If you enjoy the chaos then there isn't much we can assist with other than listening to all of these stories.
Hey, guess what... I don't believe cell phones are able to take collect calls. Please correct me if I am wrong.
JWF,
You may have missed my point, which is that a local call is usually charged by phone companies as a flat rate. You pay $15 a month (or whatever rate) for as many local calls as you want. I would assume a correctional facility would have such an arrangement. So if you call outside the area--which is often the case for inmates--it would cost extra and they would make you call collect. But, as when I call home from a hospital receptionist's phone, there is no extra charge to the institution and so no reason to make it collect.
But I agree that the jail ought to be monitoring his calls better. But MAYBE they aren't. I think that you put too much faith in the perfection of an unknown jail and too little in Jennie Pepsi's simple statement of events. I do not feel that she is overdramatizing anything. I am really surprised by the lack of support here. If she says he called her, I believe her. It's not incumbent on Jennie to instantly know how that could have happened. Rules get broken, people make mistakes.
Maybe she shouldn't have let him talk, but that's another issue, one of setting boundaries and not cooperating when he violates his no contact rule. If all of us were perfect at setting limits at the right time we wouldn't have any problems to share here. We'd all be perfect. :)
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