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Originally Posted by Angrychair

I brought her some items that she left behind and saw her. It has been a week and now and I had a heavy heart seeing her. She looked fantastic and seemed happy to see me I can't explain the joy and sorry I had at the same time. I need serious mental help

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It is very painful in the early stages. Contact can be such a setback to any progress you are feeling during the separation. I wish we were there for a big group hug, I think that you are an emotional person and I really feel your pain through this.

You are on a better path and there is a brighter future ahead for you. Keep plugging ahead one moment at a time. Reach out whenever you need/want to. We are always here listening.

You will be in my prayers tonight.

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Originally Posted by Justwantfair

It is very painful in the early stages. Contact can be such a setback to any progress you are feeling during the seperation. I wish we were there for a big group hug, I think that you are an emotional person and I really feel your pain through this.

You are on a better path and there is a brighter future ahead for you. Keep plugging ahead one moment at a time. Reach out whenever you need/want to. We are always here listening.

You will be in my prayers tonight.

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I meant GOOD loving Justy Saturday night ,watch out for me .duh!

Hi u answerd my question, and said to look at yours. We are kind of in the same boat. I hurt every day. Your right its hard some days better than others. After being on here I know I'm not alone so its not just me. I know deep down I have to move on. You seem to have it together more than me. Just look real deep and you can find the will to do what u need to do. Something that helps me is to spend time with my kids and just think of what I want for them. It helps. Good luck to you, I'll have you in my thoughts.

I have been through something like that before. I was with my BF and was with another man. I also got mad when my BF questioned me about it. I also said I loved him and didn't want to leave neither one of them. But in reality you can't live that way. Your wife has to set standards in life( positive ones for her self and her child and her marriage). YOur wife has to make a choice for herself whether she wants you or him. On her own time . Not yours. Don't stick around to find out the answer either. I mean don't sick around for a month. I would say a week or 2 at the most. Just to see if she will do it again. But you got to tell her to stop now or you will be gone by next week. And when you say gone. You need to be gone. Once you have decided to leave her you will have pain now if yo leave now and you will have pain later if you leave later. So you might as well get it over with now. (the pain).

Her head is in between her legs right now. Once she figures out this young guy doesn't want her (which could be 1 month form now or 2 years from now) then she may stop.

I left my BF for the guy I was cheating with. Only because my BF was still married and was supposed to be going through a divorce (which never happened). My point here. My BF and I had no potential. So I did not stop my cheating and soon left him.

Your wife is your wife, that should be enough for her to stop this mess, but she has not yet. And has not even taken steps to do so.

So tell her if she does not stop you are out. If she stops then continue because she has realized what is important. If she does not stop then boot her. You will know this in one week because she will not be able to go 1 week without being in the bed with this young guy. So keep your eyes open.
WIDE OPEN.

Graphic description but some sound advice

Fawn chin up It can't rain all the time I guess

That's our update?

No new info, no need for moral support?

I am now taking medication to curb my depression the situation here is not going well. There are all indications that she is needing money and when I refuse to talk about it she gets angry. I can't see any of the woman I fell in love with anymore. She has changed so drastically that I almost don't know her. Its almost like she is doing whatever she can to hurt me or obtain what she wants by any means. How can one person change so fast or did she change and I didn't notice before.

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Originally Posted by Angrychair

I am now taking medication to curb my depression the situation here is not going well. There are all indications that she is needing money and when I refuse to talk about it she gets angry. I can't see any of the woman I fell in love with anymore. She has changed so drastically that I almost dont know her. Its almost like she is doing whatever she can to hurt me or obtain what she wants by any means. How can one person change so fast or did she change and I didnt notice before.

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I know how you feel. I can't see the person I know and love. He has changed so much. Just keep moving forward that's all you can do for yourself and kids. Mine blew up on Monday now everything is real crazy, but I'm going to keep my head up. Just remember your note alone. I'll be thinking of you.

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Originally Posted by Angrychair

I am now taking medication to curb my depression the situation here is not going well. There are all indications that she is needing money and when I refuse to talk about it she gets angry. I can't see any of the woman I fell in love with anymore. She has changed so drastically that I almost dont know her. Its almost like she is doing whatever she can to hurt me or obtain what she wants by any means. How can one person change so fast or did she change and I didnt notice before.

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She probably changed but love is blinding.

There is a lot of truth to the thought that there is a very thin line between love and hate. You can move very readily between both side of those feelings. Please feel free to vent, mope, release some of those frustrating emotions.

This saga continues she is still living at home but bouncing between home and his place. I finally got her to tell me it was over but then next evening she was home and said she doesn't want to split up. So basically Im back to square one. As I speak she is out with him and getting more brazen with her carrying on. I am aware that I am enabling her and she seems to think it is OK now to do it in front of me. I wish I had the courage and testicular fortitude to tell her to leave, but then all hell would break loose. I know what need to be done I just can't seem to do it for fear of the repercussions.

Has she admitted the relationship to you yet or is she still trying to force you to believe that she is 'just friends' with him?

Don't play her games, we understand that you love her, but your love deserves to be reciprocated. What steps have you taken to get yourself out of that house? Do you have a time frame set?

I have known about the relationship and she has admitted she is in love with him. I haven't tried to remove her that is what Im saying I don't have a clue how to pull the trigger.

You must have really good reasons for putting up with her humiliating you like that.

I'm not even going to mention her behaviour, because I think this should be about you now.

Why do you put up with it. Surely you have a good reason other than all hell is going to break loose?

There are reasons but the more I think about them the less they become good. I guess I am under the delusion that it will fix itself and we will go back to a happy life.

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Originally Posted by Angrychair

I have known about the relationship and she has admitted she is in love with him. I havent tried to remove her that is what Im saying I dont have a clue how to pull the trigger.

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I think it's time to get up off the ground.

Pull the trigger.

Break down after this is all over.

She isn't going to change, you are holding a dead bird in your hand... you can keep squeezing, but it isn't going to come back to life. It's time to let go and mourn your loss.

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Originally Posted by Angrychair

There are reasons but the more I think about them the less they become good. I guess I am under the delusion that it will fix itself and we will go back to a happy life.

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You deserve better!
You deserve better!
You deserve better!
You deserve better!
You deserve better!
You deserve better!
You deserve better!
You deserve better!

I know I deserve better. Its just hard to do what you know in your heart is right.

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Originally Posted by Angrychair

I know I deserve better. Its just hard to do what you know in your heart is right.

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What is it you think your heart is right about?

It's not right about her and surely not right about sticking around while she humilates you and your marriage.

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Originally Posted by Angrychair

This saga continues she is still living at home but bouncing between home and his place. I finally got her to tell me it was over but then next evening she was home and said she doesnt want to split up. So basically Im back to square one. As I speak she is out with him and getting more brazen with her carrying on. I am aware that I am enabling her and she seems to think it is ok now to do it in front of me. I wish I had the courage and testicular fortitude to tell her to leave, but then all hell would break loose. I know what need to be done I just can't seem to do it for fear of the repercussions.

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What can she possibly do to you that she has not done already?So what if all hell breaks loose! What can she do to you?

She has used you and abused you emotionally and she shows total disregard for you in any manner.

Are you hoping they will break-up and she will somehow be the kind of partner that you deserve? Maybe when hell freezes over.

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you,I don't think she is a decent human being and what the attraction is is beyond my comprehension.

What repercussions?

I hope it does not come down to you stuffing so much anger and resentment that you snap.
I would have snapped long ago.
Take care of yourself and know that we are here.