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Originally Posted by J_9

But, you don't have the right to "punish" him. You are not his parent. You have every right to be disappointed in his actions, but you do not have the right to "punish" him.

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You have a valid point. I guess I have only 2 options. Forgive him or leave him. Staying with him and torturing him is a childish act, and will bring more disasters...

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Originally Posted by pointzero2015

You have a valid point. I guess I have only 2 options. Forgive him or leave him. Staying with him and torturing him is a childish act, and will bring more disasters...

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At at the same time you have to accept your role in this. You pushed him into the arms of another woman with your controlling behavior.

Does he he forgive you for your actions and behavior?

The two of you are a couple. Decisions are to be made together. If the two of you don't agree on something, it doesn't happen. Do you get my point?

I have a feeling that you like to be in control of every situation and if you don't get your way all hell breaks loose. Is that in any way accurate?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9

At at the same time you have to accept your role in this. You pushed him into the arms of another woman with your controlling behavior.

Does he he forgive you for your actions and behavior?

The two of you are a couple. Decisions are to be made together. If the two of you don't agree on something, it doesn't happen. Do you get my point?

I have a feeling that you like to be in control of every situation and if you don't get your way all hell breaks loose. Is that in any way accurate?

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Yes, you are 100% accurate for all about this. He is indeed vey easy guy, and from the beginning of our relationship (total 13 years, 3 years of dating, 10 years of marriage), I had the strong voice, and he says yes to me, even when he did not happy about it. The counselor says he hold everything inside instead of expressing it, and that triggered his affair.

Yes, learned clearly my way of controlling stopped to work in the most humiliated way recently.

To answer your question, he told me he forgave me who pushed & controlled him by yelling (in front of the counselor during couple therapy session). He speaks up now. He wants us to make every single decision together. He says he needs to be the MAN in the house, and I need to be his wife.

I have not been following this back and forth 62 replies but don't you guys think it is time to put into action what ever is best for the kids and family into action? Enough of this get even stuff and so forth.

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Originally Posted by pointzero2015

He wants us to make every single decision together. He says he needs to be the MAN in the house, and I need to be his wife.

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Yes, you do need to make decisions together, that's a given.

He he might need to be the "man" of the house, but are you going to let him, or are you going to continue to boss him around and "punish" him for every action you don't approve of?

While you both need couples counseling, it is glaringly apparent that you need individual counseling to work out your own issues. Unless you can become less controlling and inconsiderate of his thoughts and feelings, I don't see a need to try to make this marriage work.