Worried about new wife visiting friend at work
Threads merged
A few weeks ago my new wife asked if it would be OK to visit a girl friend at her place of business. She told me she provides a service of Traditional Chinese massage therapy. It would be a chance to catch up for some girlie talk and maybe help out if she needs. I thought it was good idea as my wife currently doesn't work and is a little bored at home.
I met my wife after work to find that of all the clothes she has, this day she choses to wear her short skirt with sheer black tights, I admit she looks quite hot in this. On the way home I asked how things went, as she had spent most of the day with her friend, only to find that her friend's business offered the full body massage with oils and naked or at least down to the underwear, not the Traditional Chinese massage, which is usually fully clothed and targets mainly the neck and shoulders. Of course I was not too happy to hear this as most of the clients were male [of course], and as my wife was sitting at the reception desk for most of the day she told me that some of the clients were asking her if she was the new girl. My wife also mentioned that from time to time her friend asked if she would help out with towels etc.. Knowing she was sitting there in her short skirt and tights and my understanding of guys minds my imagination started going into meltdown. I explained that I was really not happy about this and if she was looking for work, this was NOT the area I would like her to be. She tried to convince me it was all above board, but I was clear that I would not be comfortable about this. She agreed and nothing more was said.
Today my wife suggested that she would come into town later in the day to meet me after work so that we could go shopping and drive home together. I thought that was a lovely thought, until she asked if I would mind if she popped into her friend's shop to say hello. I explained that I didn't mind her meeting this girl for a chat or a coffee from time to time but thought it was inappropriate to visit her place of business. As she has declined to come to my office many times as she doesn't want to interrupt my work I suggested that this was no different for her friend.
Although she said she would come directly to me I can feel she was a little disappointed. Am I wrong in my thinking or should I have handled it differently.
Is it appropriate for wife's single male friend to visit when I am not home?
Threads merged
When I met my wife before we married she and her daughter was just moving out of her apartment to move in to a shared apartment with two single guys, one of whom is a friend of her ex husband in China. He convinced her to move in to help her save money. After a month I proposed and she accepted the offer of marriage. Within a month after that we were married and had moved into our own apartment together with her daughter, happy family. Just so happens our apartment in just across the road from her old apartment and the ex-room mate.
I found out recently that occasionally she would 'bump' into him at the shopping mall and grab a coffee. Just earlier this week I discovered she had been to his apartment and went for a walk and did some shopping together. She wasn't going to tell me until I told her that I had spotted them walking back to the entrance to our complex as I was driving by. Plus I had 'seen' her via her phone GPS. That's how I knew she was at his apartment and spent some time at the park all of which she denies. After a emotional discussion about how it upset me I suggested that perhaps I don't know him that is why I feel so anxious and suggested she invite over for dinner. She asked if I would be OK with him coming to our place... I said of course not, as long as I am there... I meant we could all have dinner. She said oh I can ask but maybe he won't want to come.
I don't think it is appropriate for him to visit her at my apartment whilst I am not there equally I don't think she should be visiting him at his apartment alone. Not a matter of trust it is a matter what is appropriate as a married woman. What do you think? You guys have read all my threads on previous worries, is this just part of all the same thing? Thanks
