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Originally Posted by myagony1234

Hi jo_dy,
I hope you feel better everyday. Here is my thought.



It sums up the abusive type of relationship you have had with him. From early on, he has brain washed you, made you submissive to take the whole unfair treatment he gave to you without analyzing. You must did it to keep the marriage.
Your (you and your husband) infertility is NOT a reason to he can sleep around with other women whatsoever. Period. You put yourself overly down here. I understand he never treated you good, and you have tendency to blame yourself here. Please do not ever blame yourself for nothing include infertility or try to understand his motive to cheat ever.

Period. It is fully BS.













Exactly! You do not even have to think. Just drop him like a stinky trash.



It also sums up what kind of moron he is. He has cheated on you, and still need respect from you? By what? He still thinks he can control you by yelling and blaming you as before. His BS is not working anymore.
Please open your eyes, see the ugly reality. You have abandoned true yourself & strength to keep this marriage, but his BS era is clearly over. Be strong & independent woman again, and find your happiness WITHOUT him.
You will be 100% much happier without cheater in your life BY YOUR OWN.
You will be 200% much happier if you meet someone nice in your future after get rid of this cheater.
So, what are you waiting for?
Please run fast emotionally, legally and physically from this cheater. Everything happens for reason. You must deserved the much happier life from now on. Cheers!!!

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Jodi... let us know how you're doing... we want to help!:)

Hi everyone... everyones comments are helping me every day to see what I have never seen before in him. Today I have had a text conversation with him, quite a civil one, clearing up plans for post money etc and then he came, pre planned while I was out to clear out the last of his things... Im so sad, even though I know its right and for the best its left me really shell shocked and upset all over again! I hate feeling so low like this. What's even sadder is I'm wondering if he was the best I could do and I don't want to be alone hurting and if he was here then id be OK and it sounds pathetic just writing it, I know I'm to good for him but feel so sad its over and he's gone :(

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Originally Posted by jo_dy

Hi everyone.....everyones comments are helping me every day to see what i have never seen before in him. Today i have had a text conversation with him, quite a civil one, clearing up plans for post money etc and then he came, pre planned while i was out to clear out the last of his things...... Im so sad, even though i know its right and for the best its left me really shell shocked and upset all over again! I hate feeling so low like this. Whats even sadder is im wondering if he was the best i could do and i dont want to be alone hurting and if he was here then id be ok and it sounds pathetic just writing it, i know im to good for him but feel so sad its over and he's gone :(

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Jodi... It's normal to have those regrets. It's normal to miss him even though he's a slug. Don't second guess yourself. Cry when you feel like. Honestly I will say this... you will get your self esteem back. No he is not the best you can do! You need someone who doesn't define himself by ordering you around and being MR. BIG STUFF.

The next woman may not be as understanding as you have been.
When he tries to crawl back into your life again, think of all the things he did to hurt you. YOU ARE TOO GOOD FOR HIM! Blessings:)

Its sucha horrible feeling to feel and think this way... he is a very good looking fit man and knows it, he is a sweet talker which is also why he has got away with and got into so many women's knickers... its horrible to feel he is better than me somehow and that he was it for me!!

I cannot wait for the day when I feel better about this and the hurt fades.

Thank you all so much... its great knowing I can come here for advice and a pick me up... im sure my friends are already fed up hearing about it from me!!

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Originally Posted by jo_dy

Its sucha horrible feeling to feel and think this way.....he is a very good looking fit man and knows it, he is a sweet talker which is also why he has got away with and got into so many womens knickers.....its horrible to feel he is better than me somehow and that he was it for me!!!

I cannot wait for the day when i feel better about this and the hurt fades.

Thank you all so much.....its great knowing i can come here for advice and a pick me up....im sure my friends are already fed up hearing about it from me!!!

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We are here to listen!

I feel so stupid... all I keep doing is crying and I shouldn't be really! He has lost no sleep or tears over this so why am I...

I hate being upset but don't seem to be able to stop myself from just crying... for no reason!!

I don't really know how to deal with these feelings

I don't know how he could do it to me, I must have meant nothing to him and he meant everything to me... :(

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Originally Posted by jo_dy

I dont know how he could do it to me, i must have meant nothing to him and he meant everything to me..........:(

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He'll be the one who regrets it someday! You didn't do anything wrong.:)

I don't know how to deal with these emotions... I don't understand all of it!

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Originally Posted by jo_dy

I dont know how to deal with these emotions....I dont understand all of it!

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Just hold on and know it will get better in time. I wish I had a magic wand to take away your pain!:)

I wish someone had a magic wand to take away my pain and make me move on 6 months from now!

I feel so stupid as anything anyone says to me sets me off crying and I am getting angry with myself for doing it as I no there will be no tears shed from him!

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Originally Posted by jo_dy

I wish someone had a magic wand to take away my pain and make me move on 6 months from now!

I feel so stupid as anything anyone says to me sets me off crying and i am getting angry with myself for doing it as i no there will be no tears shed from him!

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I feel stupid for many reasons that I shouldn't. Just remember that eventually you WILL be fine. I wish you the best.

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Originally Posted by ohsohappy

I feel stupid for many reasons that I shouldn't. Just remember that eventually you WILL be fine. I wish you the best.

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Jodi... Remember self esteem, being your own person, finally breaking free of a dominant, egotistical , self r serving jerk is
The important thing.

I really think you're mad because you see what he has done to your life. Don't be ashamed , to be mad. I know you are strong just by the way post your messages.ne. A lot of women don't have the courage to do what you have do


I think every thing happens for a reason. Perhaps some other woman is looking for help and advice and she sees your post.
That woman may get the courage to walk away from a horrible marriage or an abusive marriage. You could be saving someone's life.

Hang on and keep posting... We're here... :)

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Originally Posted by jo_dy

I wish someone had a magic wand to take away my pain and make me move on 6 months from now!

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I know what you mean. I wish I have the magic wand for you. :)

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Originally Posted by myagony1234

I know what you mean. I wish I have the magic wand for you. :)

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Keep being strong! Think of all the insulting, horrible things he did to you! Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry, it just makes know he still has power over you. Things will start to look up and you'll see you will get through... Hugs and prayers to you!:)

Absent trust you don't have much of a marriage. Add the cheating and I'm not sure where you can go - I think at least separating is a good idea and I would personally divorce over this situation. It's hard, but the loneliest thing is being in a marriage with someone who does not respect your feelings or show his love with true fidelity - being alone is a lot less lonely than that.

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Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

Absent trust you don't have much of a marriage. Add the cheating and I'm not sure where you can go - I think at least separating is a good idea and I would personally divorce over this situation. It's hard, but the loneliest thing is being in a marriage with someone who does not respect your feelings or show his love with true fidelity - being alone is a lot less lonely than that.

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We're here Jodi.. anytime!

I have got up today feeling a little better about things, yesterday was a bad day went to bed in tears... again! I have also just realised that there is an event we both must attend for our child (his step child) tomorrow and I'm dreading it. I don't want to see him but will have to some how hold it together. I agree marriage without trust is no marriage, I had a chat with a friend of mine yesterday about all this and she said... well if he thought you two weren't going to get back together you can't say anything really about who he slept with during that time! Am I mad or is that so wrong? It shouldn't make a difference if we were together at that point, we were married, he wanted to come back and work things out, we both did!

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Originally Posted by jo_dy

I have got up today feeling a little better about things, yesterday was a bad day went to bed in tears.....again! I have also just realised that there is an event we both must attend for our child (his step child) tomorrow and im dreading it. I dont want to see him but will have to some how hold it together. I agree marriage without trust is no marriage, i had a chat with a friend of mine yesterday about all this and she said....well if he thought you two werent going to get back together you can't say anything really bout who he slept with during that time! Am i mad or is that so wrong? It shouldnt make a difference if we were together at that point, we were married, he wanted to come back and work things out, we both did!

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Dear Jody,
Are you trying to accept his cheating since you are painful and lonely?
He had track record of 5 kids from different women, no steady job, bur constantly sleep with other women whenever he sees opportunities.

Are you really buying his BS that “I hope we can work on us, but I am sleeping with someone else now.”? So, as you dmitted, you let him does his game, constantly went back to him by yourself, even though you did not see him as a trustworthy husband material. Is this what you want for your rest of life?

Don't be confused by your friend's nice talk. I have a same tendency to comfort my friend, if she is in pain, instead of harsh wording over agony. I am more honest and straight when I talk annomenously.

Oversall, it is your life. You know what he is. You know he is chronical cheater, and will not be faithful to you. So, why are you confused about?

Regarding to step child matter, I will drop all together. You are not mother Theresa, or community counselor. Step children is important while you are with him. You are dropping the cheater, and why do you still care about his children's matter? It will only tangle your life with his mess. It will not be beneficial for your peace, healing or future.

I will drop all anything realted to him, if I am in your position. Have you ever heard “No Contact” policy? If you are weak, give in, you will never make yourself free from mess.
I hope it helps you.

My agony, I think I didn't explain myself properly. There is no way on this earth or any other planet that I would consider having him and his cheating back in my life, bed or heart. I couldn't do it to myself anymore, my head and heart couldn't take anymore. I was trying to understand where my friend was coming from as in my eyes there is no excuse, together or not... we were married! As for the step child, he is big and wants him in his life as only dad ever really known, its not something day to day I have to be involved in or see him for. I think with time my boy will drop him anyway but I have to let him come to that conclusion on his own