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Originally Posted by chirleyrene

Sometimes you might have to Sugar coat it, only because you don't know how that other person might take it, you have to know how to say things sometimes, without hurting the next person feelings.

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Fair point,

But this site is all about trying to help you and offer the best advice for you and your situation. If we sugar coat the truth, just because we worry about how you are going to take it, then you will make no progress and just be stuck in a vicious cycle.

Don't you agree?

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Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

Fair point,

but this site is all about trying to help you and offer the best advice for you and your situation. If we sugar coat the truth, just because we worry about how you are going to take it, then you will make no progress and just be stuck in a vicious cycle.

Don't you agree?

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In A Way, I'm sorry, if I sounded Harsh, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. (Frends?)

How you managed to go from this:

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Originally Posted by chirleyrene

I Know what else I need, But I ain't gonna say that online, but you get what I'm saying, I need to relieve some Tension, so I guess I have to talk to my Husband after all (SMILE)

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To this in only two posts stupifies me...

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Originally Posted by chirleyrene

I've talked to a couple of Lawyers, that told me good advice, I'm only in that house right now with him and his Zoo, because I need to save two checks which is only gonna take two weeks, from there on I'll be free of headache, and finally I'll be able to relax, I'M NEVER EVER AGAIN MARRYING NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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However with that said, I am very glad you found your solution, sincerely. It stands to reason for me now how we couldn't have helped much when the problem wasn't discussed very plainly (I found it confusing like these two posts are) and appears to have been already solved (looks to the "What Should I Do? I'm Ready To Leave" headline on this thread). If you think any of the answers given here are inappropriate, you can complain with the Report Inappropriate Post link and if its against the rules, the post will be modified or removed. But I would suggest there is a difference between "negativity" and breaking the rules of the site. I don't know about you Chirl, but I learn from both kinds of responses-- I think most people do. No one here meant to hurt you, certainly not me, and I wish you well in your new life.

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Originally Posted by chirleyrene

In A Way, I'm sorry, if I sounded Harsh, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. (Frends?)

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No, that's o.k. you're fine..

I second what Val has said, nobody on here I would hope would want to hurt your feelings in what they say to you.

Perhaps, in a way you are right, we all need to choose carefully the words we use to get the advice across so that the person receiving it can use it in a positive way instead of seeing the negativity..

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Sometimes you might have to Sugar coat it, only because you don't know how that other person might take it, you have to know how to say things sometimes, without hurting the next person feelings.

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I would rather hurt your feelings than have you think I condone something I know is wrong. My goal is to make you think and I don't care about your feelings if I am trying to help. Your entire thread was 7 pages of advice that you seemed to me would not grasp or acknowledge in my opinion so a kick in the butt to jump start the brain was in my opinion NEEDED. I didn't act out of temper or malice nor did anyone else here, and try to keep my tone reasonable according to who I am writing to. For that NO APOLOGIES for hurt feelings. Sorry if you think some of us are negative and all due respect... that's your problem how you take it. I am glad you have at least made a decision and I sincerely hope it works for you. My daddy use to tell me " If you don't want to hear the answer, You shouldn't ask the question"

Big laugh... you have a choice... stay and be unappreciated... or do the happy dance out the door... make the parting words... loud... never ask for escrow in the long run you will lose... get the value/appraisal of the houses... demand your half... find another home that has no remainder of him or his horde... make the move out of your misery true sharp and complete... no matter what you say he will feel the pain... but yet his horde will feel it later... yeah revenge is sweet... only if you are successful... never say never... some other guy without drama may come along and sweep you off your feet... yeah... no more drama... signing out...

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I would rather hurt your feelings than have you think I condone something I know is wrong. My goal is to make you think and I don't care about your feelings if I am trying to help. Your entire thread was 7 pages of advice that you seemed to me would not grasp or acknowledge in my opinion so a kick in the butt to jump start the brain was in my opinion NEEDED. I didn't act out of temper or malice nor did anyone else here, and try to keep my tone reasonable according to who I am writing to. For that NO APOLOGIES for hurt feelings. Sorry if you think some of us are negative and all due respect.........that's your problem how you take it. I am glad you have at least made a decision and I sincerely hope it works for you. My daddy use to tell me " If you don't want to hear the answer, You shouldn't ask the question"

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Here here Tal!

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I would rather hurt your feelings than have you think I condone something I know is wrong. My goal is to make you think and I don't care about your feelings if I am trying to help. Your entire thread was 7 pages of advice that you seemed to me would not grasp or acknowledge in my opinion so a kick in the butt to jump start the brain was in my opinion NEEDED. I didn't act out of temper or malice nor did anyone else here, and try to keep my tone reasonable according to who I am writing to. For that NO APOLOGIES for hurt feelings. Sorry if you think some of us are negative and all due respect.........that's your problem how you take it. I am glad you have at least made a decision and I sincerely hope it works for you. My daddy use to tell me " If you don't want to hear the answer, You shouldn't ask the question"

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I would have said this, but I was scared of hurting anyone's feelings.

Sometimes, Geoff, you only get to pick between these two: being nice or solving/identifying the problem. And if the person with the problem is asking for help... how nice is it really to ignore the solution by watering it down to the point its ineffective with all that "nicey nice"? There is where the line is drawn between being nice and enabling someone. Enabling is so bad in some circumtances that it actually helps kill people. So are we then going to sit around at the wake, wring our hands about how tragic it was and talk about how nice we all were?

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I would have said this, but I was scared of hurting anyone's feelings.

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Val has said it. I'm here to help (I sure ain' doing it for the money) the goal is to get people through hard times. Some may need a shove, others need a boot. Sometimes they need a hug, or an encouraging word. You have to figure what they need to succeed and give it to them. I really do care, that's why I do IT. When I stop caring, I'm out of here.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Val has said it. I'm here to help (I sure ain' doing it for the money) the goal is to get people thru hard times. Some may need a shove, others need a boot. Sometimes they need a hug, or an encouraging word. You have to figure what they need to succeed and give it to them. I really do care, that's why I do IT. When I stop caring, I'm outta here.

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Thank you

By Geoff

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You are a good person to be like this.. My hat goes off to you!

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Thank, I appreciate it.

Chirl

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thank you

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Your welcome.