SARAII!! I feel like such a a$$. I had NO friggin clue about this situation. I am feeling so horrible about not being here for you. YOu are always full of energy, spunk and laughter, and now when you need help, I am missing in action. I am sooo sorry. I guess so much for having super powers. (LOL) FORGIVE ME!!
OK, I think you are an incredibly strong and intelligent person. The only thing you HAVE to do, is be true to yourself. The other things will come together. YOu have a lot of decisions to make and it will be tough, but you can and will get through it. I think you have been trying for a long time and everyone has their breaking point. You can only take as much as your soul and heart can manage. YOu have to teach him how to treat you, regardless of whether you stay together. This is because you will always have to deal with him (when it comes to Shayla). He is an insecure and immature person. He is threatened by you and doesn't know how to handle your relationship like an adult. This doesn't mean he doesn't love you, and I know you do love him. However, sometimes you can't always make it work with the one you love. Please know, you are beautiful and lots of fun and anyone would be lucky to have a girl like you. Right now you are thinking about the right things. Focusing on your goals and your future. IT is a great idea to go back to school and pursue your career. This is the best thing you can do for yourself. You cannot change him, only the way you respond to him. I believe in you and I know will come out of this shining like a star. Whether you decide to take him back, continue to focus on your gifts, career and becoming the best person you can be. You will make Shayla proud because you do not compromise. You will show her how you should be treated as a woman and how to be respected. This is something she will always admire in you. YOu have guts and you have integrity. That is worth so much in this life.
I want you to know that I am sorry that you have been struggling and feeling so much pain, I wish I would have realized it sooner. You always seem so happy and I didn't ever pry deep enough to understand what you were really going through. Hopefully you realize the love and support I have for you and I will continue to check and see how things are going.
You are a good person SARAII and one I am glad to know. You are smart to share this with everyone here because it will help you get through this difficult ordeal.
Remember you are a good mom and your heart is full of love for her. All the issues you have to figure out, just deal with it one at a time. That is all you can do.