And do not wimp out if she whines that you apparently don't love her.
|
And do not wimp out if she whines that you apparently don't love her.
What do I do if she accuses me of hiding something? How much of my personal life do I reveal? Should I try to be more mysterious?Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
You don't reveal anything. Let her accuse until the cows come home. Ignore her.
Just so I know... whats that going to accomplish? Curiosity?Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Who cares? We are working on you, not her. If she's curious, big deal. Let her be curious.
You need to have a spine.
OK what else do I have to work on?Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Can you ignore her pleas and moans that you can trust her now, that you need to get back to your "old self"?
Im going to have to. If this has any chance of being savedQuote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Change passwords if she has any?
I already didQuote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
So you are setting boundaries? And will stick to them? Even when she flutters her little eyelashes at you?
Oh, and stop having sex with her.
What's your favorite and mostly only word to say to her from now on?
Never discuss, apologize, or waffle.
I am going to set the boundries when were one on one because she needs to listen to me and I know its not going to be enough with a simple phone call or a text message. I have changed my passwords. And I am sick of her games so I won't give in to her anymore...Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
AND NO MORE SEX :'(
NoQuote:
Originally Posted by wondergirl
This will be tough. You will want to cave. You will be charmed and thrilled and yelled at and spit upon. But you will never waver.
The last 6 months have been tough but I feel that its given me the strength for thisQuote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
I can trust you to do what you need to do? You will think of me when the going gets tough? You will think of my mad face staring at you if you waffle or let her cross your boundaries?
Yes I can do this!Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
I will now send you on your way. If you mess up, I will instantly disappear in a puff of smoke and end up in a place to which I do not want to go. Save me from that fate. Be true to yourself and the boundaries you establish. Go now in peace. Report back as needed.
Lol OK thank you for pushing me in the right direction.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
I will pray for your safe return.
OK so Thursday morning was the last time I spoke with her. Today she texts me back saying "hey stranger." I don't reply until almost an hour later. She calls me and I tell her that I needed an important document that she has. She keeps insisting that she can't hand it over today. I get a little upset and give her attitude.. was I right to give her attitude? Why does she think that its OK to not speak to me and later on resume as if nothing ever happened? How do I change that?Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
There is something called snail mail. She can use it to send this document to you.Quote:
Originally Posted by krazyfas
I hope you said only what needed to be said and didn't veer off into relationship stuff. Tell her she can text you as needed and you can respond as you need to.
Don't let her play games. Don't feed her need to do this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
I did only say what was needed. It almost sounded like she wanted to see me. I felt a little bad but I didn't give in to her.
***hugs and kisses*** Good job! Keep resisting. Take back your power.Quote:
Originally Posted by krazyfas
SO yesterday after I sent the last post one of her friends spotted me at the mall. I was with a male friend but her friend said she had spotted me alone. Since I had argued with her that morning I think it lifted her curiosity. She calls me late at night like about 2am. She asks how I've been and why I'm being so cold with her. I told her that I didn't like the way she was treating me. She apologized for not contacting me and she wanted me to know that she wasn't avoiding me. After that she started to ask questions about who I was at the mall with and why I was there. Keep in mind that this is the same mall where I have the ring I was paying for to give to her.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
I just tell her that I was just browsing around. But she keeps insisting to know who I was there with all I told her was that I was there with a friend.
Now stop talking with her and answering her calls and texts.
How will that help anything?
Holy cow! This has gone on for 106 posts and you don't get it yet?
I don't mean to be rude but jeeze!
If you stop talking to her, stop answering her calls and stop responding to the texts you will stop perpetuating this vicious cycle.
Give it a break already and go complete NO CONTACT!
I changed my mind. This is so stupid, so adolescent. This sounds like a couple of junior high kids pretending they are in an adult relationship. You're both ridiculous, childish and stupid in this relationship. Seriously... "like, I was at a mall, and she texted, and I didn't because, snap, forget about her and then we talked and I don't have to answer for myself and she this and I that..." You do realize that grown people don't interact like this, right? You stop the gamesmanship, make arrangements for someone responsible (not sure if you know anyone like that from the way this is sounding) to watch your child, and you sit down and talk about what happened and where to go from here. You have two potential avenues - counseling (because neither of you are mature enough to resolve this without it and you both need to learn how to conduct yourselves as adults and parents). The ssecond avenue is divorce, in which case you still need counseling to learn how to live as adults and parents and work cooperatively together.
Making out with people at work, hanging out at the mall with no reason to be there, moving in and out of the house on a whim - it's all so assinine I can't imagine how to find a marriage among all this stupid childsplay.
Dude, do you know the definition of insanity? "Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results." (Albert Einstein).
Are you insaine? Think about it.
I just noticed this thread rising again out of the ashes. I had high hopes for what Wondergirl was doing. But now I think this dude is a Troll with a capital T. He has a bet going with his buddies on how long he can string all of us (mostly women) along.
I'm not a "Troll" I love this girl so much its almost impossible for me to complete the no contact. Im starting to think that I am insane. Im miserable without her and yet one text or phone call from her makes my heart skip a few beats. And yet she couldn't give two $h!t$ about me.Quote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
Joypulv: I think she was just playing with me to keep me around. Because I did nothing wrong and she just disappeared on me then tries to resume everything as if nothing had happened. It hurt me so deep down that I have been really rude to her and I don't answer her messages back.
We ARE 100% IMMATURE I accept that. I won't even argue that. I just wish that we could both just look at what a happy couple we were before all the problems started. But I know that that's not going to happen.
Next time I see her I'm going to let her know that I'm done playing her games and that I would appreciate it if she would only contact me when it has something to do with my son.
I haven't worked up the strength nor the courage to ask for the divorce but that's my next step :'(
You need professional help. More than this site can provide you.
I have considered it but its not in my budget. Talking about it here has really helped with my anxiety and I feel more in control of my emotions. Sometimes I wake up and still don't believe it like I'm in denial that it just never happened or something.Quote:
Originally Posted by J_9
I am going to be brutally honest with you.
This is bordering on insanity. There are now 113 posts and you haven't listened to a word we said.
Many of us here now feel like you are wasting our time because you haven't followed a bit of our advice. We are getting tired of helping you because you just ignore what we say.
You continue to do the same thing ad nauseum and it's getting annoying.
You either take our advice, or you don't. It's up to you. If you choose to take our advice, GrEAT! If you choose not to take our advice, it's really not necessary to come back here and tell us how you have messed up yet again. So far, you don't have a good track record.
How old are the 2 of you? I know of many 16 year olds who are more mature and responsible than the two of you.
Oh, yes, it is!! Call your county's human resources department, Catholic Charities, or Lutheran Social Services to connect with a low-cost/sliding-scale counselor. Many private agencies will counsel on a sliding scale, and many ministers/priests also do private counseling for free (maybe will ask for a donation to their church, and you don't have to join it AND you won't get preached to). I know all this because I am a professional counselor AND a preacher's kid. And, since I am also a retired librarian, I know you can call/visit your library's reference department for contact names and phone numbers for any of the above.Quote:
Originally Posted by krazyfas
So you have no excuse not to get help. Stop wimping out!
Hey, J_9, we have said everything that needs to be said. Time to close this thread?
Yes, time to close this thread. If the OP is not willing to help himself, there is nothing left for us to do.
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:55 AM. |