Its not completely her fault, her husband has issues, but she has to deal with the parts of this saga she can control. Married to a wiener or not.

I think this is turning into a dead issue BUT I continue to be struck by the OP's own words: "I want to confront both of them just by telling them we know and have told each other so dont mess with us! My husband disagree's. Should I go behind my husbands wishes? I dont think so, but why wouldnt my husband want to fight for me or not fight but let them know we know!?"

Let "them" know we know? Husband fight for her?

"Let them know that we know?" Know what? "My husband knows you made a pass at me."? I see a lot of high school stuff here. Again, why can't the OP just tell the person who made a pass (?) at her and the husband handle his own passes? I fail to see the point in saying, "I told my wife/husband and so ..."

Someone made a pass at the husband. He didn't think it was a big deal. That obviously carries over to "passes" made at her.

OP wants to confront the gay person who made a pass at the husband? She wants her husband to "fight for her"?

At some point we are all responsible for our own lives. This sounds a lot more complicated than I'm seeing her and, yes, perhaps alcohol/drugs are involved.

I have an active social life. Men aren't making passes at my husband, and no one is pinning me up against a wall.

Something else is at play here.

Spidey senses tingling.

There are also other issues - several of them - with "the husband" and/or family and/or friends. Here is one - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...do-565671.html. One of them asks if it's okay for the husband to do something or other. I see a controlling woman and a passive (or burned out) man.

A very good point... following that link to another thread... and the linksin that to her earlier threads tells me there is a lot going on that isn't disclosed. And after reading those... I can see why he didn't get all excited and upset... the poor guy is just tired of all the drama and has tuned it out as a survival tactic.