Christmas is several weeks. You truly need to stop and slow your mind down. Can you just take one night away? Being angry and frustrated takes a lot of enery. Try not allowing what is going on to bother you so much. I realize that is easier said than done. But you have to put some things on the back burner if you are not going to give yourself time until after Christmas. Go to church when no one is there and pray. You have to give yourself some time alone and do not think of your problems. Just pray for God to clear your mind and give you strength.
You sound so much like my daughter. She married a man with 5 children (his wife had died) and she felt responsible for them all. She worked 2 jobs for a few years and she became another person. Short tempered and angry and just tired. She would not listen to her sisters or I. Finally last year she quit the part time job. It has been a complete turn around for her. Her husband adjusted just fine. You will be surprised how people will use you and put so much on you, but when you say STOP without anger and mean it, the reaction will not be as bad as you think. If it is that bad, you found out your answer and you cannot live your life giving all and receiving nothing. That is not being selfish. It is called taking care of yourself. A minister told me this when I was very young. Love thy neighbor as thyself. God did not say Love thy neighbor more than thyself. As thyself. You are loving others more than you love you. Do not be a martyr.
