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I feel like a jerk

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No! Don't ever feel guilty for feeling the way you do. There is such a thing as emotional cheating and your husband and friend are (or, hopefully, were) guilty of it. Now since your friend's mother is in the hospital, you can allow her some slack but the issue will have to be promptly addressed. There's absolutely no need in the world for any single woman to be having all-night conversations with a married man. She could be out carousing around and heading up all the single men she wants! Hell, I'm single ; if she wants someone to talk to, I'll talk to her lol!

Not that it changes much, but ALL THIS HAS BEEN DONE IN PERSON IN THE BACK YARD AT MY HOME. She has been a weekend guest (with others) for 3 summers.

I confronted my husband many times saying I was scared, hurt and uncomfortable. He ASSURED me there were no sexual connotations and figured he had assuaged me. It was only when (the other day!) I discovered Emotional Cheating and presented him with it that we were both floored! And he has been promising to do ANYTHING to keep the relationship happy.

I want to believe he was just that innocent, but my mind is going crazy: What did they think? How did they think I felt? What is HER position? Why hasn't she contacted me since I asked to have a talk with her on Friday (3 days ago)?

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Originally Posted by s_cianci

if she wants someone to talk to, I'll talk to her lol!

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HEY! Gosh, can I take you up on this? I REALLY appreciate your perspective!

We're in NJ, too, so watch out!

I just feel so hurt that they could go on like they did and not think it would bother me. With a good husband and a good friend like that - who needs enemies?

Do you think they could honestly have been innocent and be now shocked that I have been hurt all this time?

I just want to understand what drew them together...

It doesn't matter what drew them together. They ARE together, more so than you and he are. They share a connection obviously and they drink together.

Make no mistake about it, she is HIS friend, not yours.

This has gone on way too long and has caused you enough pain and anxiety.

They're probably just shocked that you are finally questioning them after so long of letting it go.

I don't know what his intentions are or past actions have been, but I know hers are not good ones where you are concerned.

I would try as hard as I could to stay awake and sit there all night with them and YOU pick the topic of conversation, i.e. husbands having emotional affairs with they and their wives' mutual "friends" and see how that goes.

Best wishes

Oh; very, very, very nice! How clear the view is from the outside!

Thanks SO much! I LOVE that!

Whew... that was a rough week. I have my new Plan Of Action, my Modus Operandi - and I'm cool as a cucumber!

Bring it on!