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Originally Posted by imstruggling

beleive me, no one has worked harder on there marriage over the last years than me, we have been throgh thick and thin and got through it, but i feel that this maybe the final straw.

Im fed up of fighting to make it work, surley there must be a small part that has to come naturally ???????

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How have you worked at it? You two separated, you hooked up with a loser, now you're back with hubby but still infatuated (and that's all it is) with the loser ex. This isn't making it work, this is doing everything to make sure it fails.

The final straw? Honey, you're the one that plucked that final straw.

It sounds like you've already made your decision, no amount of talking on our part will make any difference.

I think your struggle is that hubby puts a roof over your head, food on the table but no passion in your bed. The other guy cannot put a roof over your head, or food on the table, but there's plenty of passion in your bed, for now. One man you made a commitment to, the other will likely never give you anything but grief.

So, what do you do? I can tell you what you can't do, you can't keep both of them, you have to choose and really, the choice is yours.

I've been married for almost 14 years, been with my husband for 19 years, half my life. We've had our ups and downs, but we work at it, and yes, it's constantly working at it that has kept us together for this long. Have I been attracted to other men? Yes. Have I acted on that attraction? No. You see, I have a choice, either stay loyal to the man that I made a very serious commitment to, or do what I want without any thought to anyone else but me.

The grass on my side of the fence isn't always green, but I have fertilizer!

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

The grass on my side of the fence isn't always green, but I have fertilizer!

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Once again, LOVE THE ONE LINER!

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

The grass on my side of the fence isn't always green, but I have fertilizer!

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Those have been my thoughts throughout this whole thread. Little bit of N-P-K and some water should do the trick

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imstruggling;1571413, I know the right thing to do in my mind, but I love my ex sooo soooo much.

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If you were a guy I would tell you to ignore the little head and go with good common sense.

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I can't stop thinking of him, he has treated me badly in the past

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That is an example of not having good common sense. Come on was the sex that good it was worth being treated badly? DUHHHHHH!

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but how do you stop and turn your feelings off??

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You don't, you can't, but you can act within the bounds of good behavior and cope with your feelings like a mature adult.

Sorry to be harsh, but I bet your husband and you could have a chance at happiness if you stopped all contact with the ex. At the rate your going, your husband will be tired of your a$$, and then you'll be stuck with your loser ex.

Break off the contact, and stop being distracted from doing the right thing. Actually, I feel your husband deserves a better partner, than your cheating, half stepping, confused, immature a$$. That's disgusting behavior in my book!

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I came here for help and advice not to be attacked or judged thank you. :mad::mad::mad:

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You got the truth!!

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I have decided that the numbers going and I'm going to be a good wife and try and make things work, i knew this was the right thing to do from the start i suppose i just needed a bit off a kick up the a@se to help me along the way.

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I apologize for being harsh, just want you to see that your position is wrong on many levels, and just so you know, I work as hard, if not harder today than when I got married more than 3 decades ago.

It's a never ending process, and the work is never done. Don't let anyone stop you, especially a loser that treated you badly when he had his chance.

I'm still waiting for the thread "I admitted to my husband that I am emotionally cheating on him"

And when she has nothing, And can't log on I guess we will all know that he had enough and she can't afford INTERNET on her own or at her toy's house

If you ever want a happy relationship and change in your marriage, you must stop what you are doing. Also, if you have any conscious you will tell your husband the truth so you can BOTH move forward either with or without each other.

And by this, he should be informed of everything you told us, yes as much as that will hurt.